More proof marriages between white men and punjabi women often end in disasters

[Ranjeet01]

Like it has mentioned before white men have been going for non white women because they believe they would have more traditional values which they cannot see with their own women. 

However there is very little difference these days between a women of colour in the west and a white woman. 

Even a woman coming over from the East to the west are quick to pick up the worst of the "western" habits. 

At least with a western /westernised woman you know what they stand for than the clandestine intentions of women from the East. 

There is not real difference between a western /westernised and an Eastern woman. The only difference is that western/westernised women is more open.

[TejS]

I'm seeing the same in America to be honest. It's not only our women, however all women of South Asian ethnicity that really have a low  opinion of their male counterparts and even go as far to propagate that view among their non-SA friends. I guess it may have to do with their household environment. Perhaps seeing their fathers be abusive to their mothers as they grow up may lead to them seeking out a male partner that does not remind them of their father, ergo a man of a different ethnicity/religion/culture. But these women need to understand that misogynistic and abusive men are found in every ethnicity. White men hide it more so than their South Asian counterparts. A conversation about women with any of one of your White buddies will really make you realize that these guys hold women in lower esteem than any one of us, thinking of them as purely objects. Now of course this is a huge generalization but Western culture objectifies women far worse than any Eastern culture, and usually second-generation/third-generation Sikhs do retain certain Eastern values thus preventing them from complete disregard. 

I guess its onto the next generation of South Asian men to be good role models for their sons and especially daughters. But our community's drinking/party culture inhibits any good parental role models. 

And to be honest, I'm open to bringing into more ethnicities into the Sikh fold, and if its through marriage, so be it. However, as I mentioned before, the lack of proper education as a result of terrible upbringing where parents did not instill Sikhi into their children leads to people not really sticking to their faith or propagating it to their partner and children. This is a huge shame because from the few families that I have seen that have had mixed marriages and the partner was faithful to Sikhi,  their children are equally so and have gone on to marry Sikhs as well. This is a positive contribution to the community and we need more of this. 

[Ranjeet01]

37 minutes ago, TejS said:

I'm seeing the same in America to be honest. It's not only our women, however all women of South Asian ethnicity that really have a low  opinion of their male counterparts and even go as far to propagate that view among their non-SA friends. I guess it may have to do with their household environment. Perhaps seeing their fathers be abusive to their mothers as they grow up may lead to them seeking out a male partner that does not remind them of their father, ergo a man of a different ethnicity/religion/culture. But these women need to understand that misogynistic and abusive men are found in every ethnicity. White men hide it more so than their South Asian counterparts. A conversation about women with any of one of your White buddies will really make you realize that these guys hold women in lower esteem than any one of us, thinking of them as purely objects. Now of course this is a huge generalization but Western culture objectifies women far worse than any Eastern culture, and usually second-generation/third-generation Sikhs do retain certain Eastern values thus preventing them from complete disregard. 

I guess its onto the next generation of South Asian men to be good role models for their sons and especially daughters. But our community's drinking/party culture inhibits any good parental role models. 

And to be honest, I'm open to bringing into more ethnicities into the Sikh fold, and if its through marriage, so be it. However, as I mentioned before, the lack of proper education as a result of terrible upbringing where parents did not instill Sikhi into their children leads to people not really sticking to their faith or propagating it to their partner and children. This is a huge shame because from the few families that I have seen that have had mixed marriages and the partner was faithful to Sikhi,  their children are equally so and have gone on to marry Sikhs as well. This is a positive contribution to the community and we need more of this. 

It has nothing really to do with how well or how badly a woman is treated. 

What we are witnessing is the unshackling of the controls put on society and women are showing unrestrained parts of their feral nature. 

What we are beginning to see what women are really like out in the open, it is no longer hidden.

If it really was about "misogyny " then women would be the biggest misogynists. 

 

[Big_Tera]

We Sikhs in the uk should create a matrimonial service. A one stop website where Sikhs can find a marriage partner. 

Look at muslims. they have single muslims. What do Sikhs have? 

Shaadi.com a site run by hindus. 

We need a site dedicated to sikhs matrimonial and not based on caste. We are so stuck in the caste system. That girls are marrying non sikhs when they could be having marrying other sikhs regardless of caste. 

[genie]

To be honest a asian/brown guy is better off with a white or black woman these days than our so called "own" if she does not adhere to traditional eastern / punjabi cultural norms and values. The value of Sikhi and adoption of it into their lifestyles is fair higher by white converts to Sikhi (both men and women ) than actual atheist inclined punjabi/asian/brown women.

I have seen relationships between asian/brown guys last longer with white women than with their own kind. Because in white women they do not have that rebellious obnoxious nature once they have done what they wanted to do in their teens they tend to mellow out. Whereas with asian/brown women if they been raised in traditional restrictive households in the west they want to rebel and be more westernised than western white women and thats where the problem increases for them.

I think also in certain punjabi householes there is a toxic climate of either extreme conservatism where nothing goes or extreme liberalise where anything goes. And the women in these households either free so free to do what they wish without any restriction or they are held back so much they rebel in outrageous ways. The best asian/brown/punjabi women are raised in householes with moderation with respect, supportive with love and good family and religious values. And in turn these women will raise kids likewise to be like that.

household family  environment is a very important i feel how kids turn out. As they say fruit that is bared reflects the tree it comes from and likewise you can tell a girl/guy is from a good family from how their values, reputation, attitude and manors are.

[TejS]

On 5/11/2018 at 5:02 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

It has nothing really to do with how well or how badly a woman is treated. 

What we are witnessing is the unshackling of the controls put on society and women are showing unrestrained parts of their feral nature. 

What we are beginning to see what women are really like out in the open, it is no longer hidden.

If it really was about "misogyny " then women would be the biggest misogynists. 

 

I guess you're right that women will do what they think is best for them. But there are of course factors that play into for what a woman determines to be her right partner.

It could have to do with the fact that by living and raising our children in the Western world, in countries such as Canada, America, UK, Australia, the people in power, the dominant individuals are all "white men". They're the bighshots per se and so it perpetuates an image of white men being higher on the social ladder and women are naturally/biologically drawn to whoever represents power to "better" their progeny. Perhaps if we had more Sikh men in power in the Western world, that would help in perpetuating the image of dominance and so our women would not need to seek out white men for example.

[TejS]

On 5/11/2018 at 5:02 PM, Ranjeet01 said:

It has nothing really to do with how well or how badly a woman is treated. 

What we are witnessing is the unshackling of the controls put on society and women are showing unrestrained parts of their feral nature. 

What we are beginning to see what women are really like out in the open, it is no longer hidden.

If it really was about "misogyny " then women would be the biggest misogynists. 

 

I guess you're right that women will do what they think is best for them. But there are of course factors that play into for what a woman determines to be her right partner.

It could have to do with the fact that by living and raising our children in the Western world, in countries such as Canada, America, UK, Australia, the people in power, the dominant, famous and "cool" individuals are all "white men". They're the bighshots per se and so it perpetuates an image of white men being higher on the social ladder and women are naturally/biologically drawn to whoever represents power to "better" their progeny. Perhaps if we had more Sikh men in power, in important roles in the Western world, that would help in perpetuating the image of dominance and so our women would not need to seek out white men for example.

[StarStriker]

8 hours ago, Big_Tera said:

We Sikhs in the uk should create a matrimonial service. A one stop website where Sikhs can find a marriage partner. 

Look at muslims. they have single muslims. What do Sikhs have? 

Shaadi.com a site run by hindus. 

We need a site dedicated to sikhs matrimonial and not based on caste. We are so stuck in the caste system. That girls are marrying non sikhs when they could be having marrying other sikhs regardless of caste. 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1999753587006828&id=1590134194635438

http://www.khalsarishtai.com/

 

[californiasardar1]

10 hours ago, StarStriker said:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1999753587006828&id=1590134194635438

http://www.khalsarishtai.com/

 

 

 

And what makes you think that a hair-cutting, pub-frequenting nominally Sikh girl (like 99% of "Sikh" girls, including the one who is being discussed in this thread) will have any interest whatsoever in a website like the one you linked?

That website probably appeals to about 20 people in the UK, 20 in Canada, and 5 in the USA.

[californiasardar1]

This is one thing that makes these forums so frustrating.

 

There is this growing obsession with nominally Sikh people "marrying out".  Why is everyone so concerned with what these people are doing after they have gone probably their entire lives with no connection to Sikhi?  They are supposed to suddenly care about Sikhi when it comes time to find a partner?  And even if they did find a nominally Sikh partner, they would raise hair-cutting, liquor-drinking, partying children who know nothing about Sikhi, so what difference would it make?

 

 

If you people are really concerned with interfaith weddings and Sikhs "marrying out", the real solution isn't showing up at Gurdwaras to protest interfaith anand karajs, or pointing to some fringe matrimonial website that is used by about 7 people.  The solution is connecting children with Sikhi from a young age so that an interfaith marriage is not something that they would entertain in the first place.