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Big_Tera

Muslim Divorce Rate: lessons to be learned

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Its well known that muslims have a big divorce rate in the uk at the moment. That has been steadily growing for the last 20 years or so at a fast pace.

Thankfully Sikhs are nowhere as near the spiralling rates of failed marriages in the suleh communities of the uk. 

There are definantly lessons to be learned from the failures of muslims and there marriages. But what is the reasons for high divorce rate in this particular community you may ask? Afterall its these people who like to think of themselves as religious and into their faith.Yet they are divorcing like no tommorow. 

One of the reasons is that they have a a high degree of arranged marriages. Many are not given much choice of who they marry. Essentially they are marrying to incompatible partners which is a recipe for disaster. This is not the fault of the people themselves but is the fault of the matchmakers who arrange these marriages without much thought and attention to finding a suitable spouse. 

I know this may be something that Sikhs need to look into. There is nothing wrong with arranged marriage. But the girl and boy should be given plenty of time and choice of who they would like to marry. 

Many suleh parents are very pushy and strict  They dont give their kids much say. Its all about marrying some cousin back in pakistan to get a visa stamp or other family ties. 

Thankfully Sikhs give their kids more choice and support in these matters and help find the most suitable match. Hence our rates of divorce are less. But we can still do more. Hope our youth dont get forced and coerced like many muslims do when it comea to marriages otherwise we could be going down the same path aa them. 

WJKK

WJKF

 

Edited by Big_Tera

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a lot of it is because they marry into the family which actually creates a lot of family disputes. There have been a few cousin marriage divorces on my road as well. They marry their kids to their cousins to keep the wealth in the family but it ends up creating more disputes related to property and wealth. And when they have these divorces the whole family falls apart! my mum friend got her daughter married to her sisters son, they ended up divorcing and now she has fell out with her sister, the whole family has fallen apart.

There also is a high rate of love marriages in their community too but they are also failing, many love marriages in our community also fail.

i think just like us their young people are battling between traditional and modern. This paki lady at my work says her daughter lives with her in laws but feels very suppressed and and wants some space with her husband, her husband also wants the same but is to scared to tell his parents that they want to move out lol      young paki couples no longer want to live with their parents and want their own space, so its a conflict of cultures and traditions with modern way of living. 

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Why would they care ? They can have multiple marriages and when self detonate,  they are promised seven beautiful wives in heaven or something like that.

They just want to breed and take over the planet, they do not give a crap about anything , apart turning everyone into a Muslim.

Edited by Redoptics

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14 hours ago, puzzled said:

a lot of it is because they marry into the family which actually creates a lot of family disputes. There have been a few cousin marriage divorces on my road as well. They marry their kids to their cousins to keep the wealth in the family but it ends up creating more disputes related to property and wealth. And when they have these divorces the whole family falls apart! my mum friend got her daughter married to her sisters son, they ended up divorcing and now she has fell out with her sister, the whole family has fallen apart.

There also is a high rate of love marriages in their community too but they are also failing, many love marriages in our community also fail.

i think just like us their young people are battling between traditional and modern. This paki lady at my work says her daughter lives with her in laws but feels very suppressed and and wants some space with her husband, her husband also wants the same but is to scared to tell his parents that they want to move out lol      young paki couples no longer want to live with their parents and want their own space, so its a conflict of cultures and traditions with modern way of living. 

That is also tru and another factor. Many marry their own cousins which is known to be harmful due to same genetic inbreeding. Many muslims also marry their kids very young. ie at 18 -23 hence they are still not mature and have life experience to jump straight into marriage. 

I know so many Muslims that are divorced as I meet them through my work sometimes. 

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14 hours ago, Redoptics said:

Why would they care ? They can have multiple marriages and when self detonate,  they are promised seven beautiful wives in heaven or something like that.

They just want to breed and take over the planet, they do not give a crap about anything , apart turning everyone into a Muslim.

Divorce is a very big thing and looked down upon in society. It is not as easy as simply re-marrying. If you are very wealthy it will probably be easier as women are attracted to rich guys. 

Then again there are probably alot of unhappy marriages people are in. But due to the stigma of being a divorcee many just stay in the marriage. 

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Many Muslims divorce in order to qualify for government handouts. Housing benefit, council tax support, child benefit is increased, etc etc. Critically, the lady can claim single persons allowance. The ex-husband often moves in with a relative close by or worse, remains in the same property. 

Divorced on paper only.

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8 hours ago, DailyMail said:

Many Muslims divorce in order to qualify for government handouts. Housing benefit, council tax support, child benefit is increased, etc etc. Critically, the lady can claim single persons allowance. The ex-husband often moves in with a relative close by or worse, remains in the same property. 

Divorced on paper only.

Oh never knew about this divorce scam. I have heard about people having kids to get hand outs. But now people are divorcing to get them

lol

Edited by Big_Tera

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There are a lot of fraud marriages in our community as well, that's a well known fact. We had this British punjabi middle aged lady in our local gurdwara who used to marry illegal Punjabi immigrants for money, they would give her £££ and they would get their citizenship by marrying a British woman.

Many apne illegal immigrants marry polish women to become british citezens, they pay the polish woman £££  so she gets her money and he gets his citizenship,  a few years ago these marriage contracts were even advertised outside desi shops!  

Also many apne from here go back to punjab and marry their uncles, neices, cousins etc in fake marriages so the relative can come over to the UK.

Many girls in punjab get married to naive British Punjabi guys just to come to the UK and when they arrive in the UK they do a runner!  Heard stories how some even did a runner at the airport!  Many of them have ex lovers in the UK(more than 1 usually) who they remain in contact and once they arrive in the UK they hook up with their ex lover/s from Punjab and do a runner, and their naive British Punjabi husband is left itching his head in concussion  lol

And then we have the pathetic new concept of interfaith anand karaj LMAO created by a bunch of snowflakes, what an absolute pathetic embarrassment 

Edited by puzzled

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8 hours ago, puzzled said:

There are a lot of fraud marriages in our community as well, that's a well known fact. We had this British punjabi middle aged lady in our local gurdwara who used to marry illegal Punjabi immigrants for money, they would give her £££ and they would get their citizenship by marrying a British woman.

Many apne illegal immigrants marry polish women to become british citezens, they pay the polish woman £££  so she gets her money and he gets his citizenship,  a few years ago these marriage contracts were even advertised outside desi shops!  

Also many apne from here go back to punjab and marry their uncles, neices, cousins etc in fake marriages so the relative can come over to the UK.

Many girls in punjab get married to naive British Punjabi guys just to come to the UK and when they arrive in the UK they do a runner!  Heard stories how some even did a runner at the airport!  Many of them have ex lovers in the UK(more than 1 usually) who they remain in contact and once they arrive in the UK they hook up with their ex lover/s from Punjab and do a runner, and their naive British Punjabi husband is left itching his head in concussion  lol

And then we have the pathetic new concept of interfaith anand karaj LMAO created by a bunch of snowflakes, what an absolute pathetic embarrassment 

Not sure why there is so much stigma or hate towards British sikhs going back to India or Punjab for marriage. There is nothing wrong with it and I know hundereds of successful marriages back home. 

 

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17 minutes ago, Big_Tera said:

Not sure why there is so much stigma or hate towards British sikhs going back to India or Punjab for marriage. There is nothing wrong with it and I know hundereds of successful marriages back home. 

 

nothing wrong with that, many do work, but times have changed and many females from Punjab just use marriage as an excuse to arrive in the UK and then do a runner 

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19 hours ago, puzzled said:

And then we have the pathetic new concept of interfaith anand karaj LMAO created by a bunch of snowflakes, what an absolute pathetic embarrassment 

Their shaping Sikhi into their own liking and not actually following the hukam of Guru Sahib.

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12 hours ago, puzzled said:

nothing wrong with that, many do work, but times have changed and many females from Punjab just use marriage as an excuse to arrive in the UK and then do a runner 

It all depends on the context. 

What are you looking for.

I think the problem is that a boy that goes to India for marriage is because he could not get married locally.

Mainly because of the following factors:

1. He is not physically attractive enough to get married locally. 

2.He got divorced and either got put off from getting married locally or he has been burnt and does not feel attrative enough to get married locally so he goes to Punjab.

3.He lives with his parents and does not want to leave his parents.

Marrying in Punjab is a last resort for the most part. Subconsciously we know this even though we don't like to admit this.

I think that some of think that we are getting a high quality girl from Punjab mainly because we are brought up to believe that Punjab is a morally superior place.

When the reality comes out that it actually isn't  is when there is a stigma or resentment comes out.

Some of us have this fantasy of this traditional Punjabi girl with the long guth in traditional suit making aloo wale prontheh in the morning.

This is the Punjabi equivalent of the 50's housewife. 

We have been fed a lie and that is where the real resentment is.

 

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22 hours ago, puzzled said:

nothing wrong with that, many do work, but times have changed and many females from Punjab just use marriage as an excuse to arrive in the UK and then do a runner 

I think that is a blanket statement. Do you have stats to prove that all women who come from Punjab do a runner? As that is just giving a bad name to women who dont do that and are honourable people. That just want a happy married life.

I dont know of a single case of any woman from punjab doing a runner. out 100's of marriages back in India. Maybe stop listening to tales from the aunties. you may get the odd one here and there. but the vast majority dont do runners. 

Edited by Big_Tera

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9 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

It all depends on the context. 

What are you looking for.

I think the problem is that a boy that goes to India for marriage is because he could not get married locally.

Mainly because of the following factors:

1. He is not physically attractive enough to get married locally. 

2.He got divorced and either got put off from getting married locally or he has been burnt and does not feel attrative enough to get married locally so he goes to Punjab.

3.He lives with his parents and does not want to leave his parents.

Marrying in Punjab is a last resort for the most part. Subconsciously we know this even though we don't like to admit this.

I think that some of think that we are getting a high quality girl from Punjab mainly because we are brought up to believe that Punjab is a morally superior place.

When the reality comes out that it actually isn't  is when there is a stigma or resentment comes out.

Some of us have this fantasy of this traditional Punjabi girl with the long guth in traditional suit making aloo wale prontheh in the morning.

This is the Punjabi equivalent of the 50's housewife. 

We have been fed a lie and that is where the real resentment is.

 

True to an extent but most punjab born girls are no where as bad as western born ones. I am not saying girls feom back home are perfect. 

Edited by Big_Tera

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6 minutes ago, Big_Tera said:

True to an extent but most punjab born girls are no where as bad as western born ones. I am not saying girls feom back home are perfect. 

Punjab born girls are no better or worse.

The only difference is that western born girls are more open with their intentions whereas Punjab born ones are more clandestine. 

That is probably what will eventually swing things in favour for the western born one is that at least you know where you stand with them.

The Punjab born girls get more corrupted when they start having more "freedom" and "material" stuff (it starts to get to their heads), you are less likely in general to get this with western born girls.

It is also far harder to connect with a girl from Punjab because you have had a different upbringing living in a different environment. You are more likely going to be on the same wavelength with a western born one.

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