speaking to girls/guys. Whats your Opinion?

[Guest guest]

another thing is, if you must drink alcohol, doing so in mixed-gender company is a no-no.  (unless you are married and there with you partner and you will stay together and leave together.  e.g. a wedding or dinner party)

for a single person- just no.

[Guest guest]

14 hours ago, BhForce said:

Exactly. Social restrictions in our society are there for a reason. That's why we have nearly 1/20th the divorce rate of Westerners.

alot of people think the social restrictions and traditional morality are "backwards", "out of date" and due to "male oppression".

actually, they are there to PROTECT you and benefit you and maintain your self respect and dignity- both males and females.

[jkvlondon 4,973]

On 8/10/2019 at 12:15 AM, Guest guest said:

alot of people think the social restrictions and traditional morality are "backwards", "out of date" and due to "male oppression".

actually, they are there to PROTECT you and benefit you and maintain your self respect and dignity- both males and females.

Having so many romantic entanglements damages the mind and personality of the persons involved, that's why apne bazurg steer clearof divorced prospects for their kids. There is a downgrade of respect for the opposite sex generally as well as specifically which manifests as controlling, abuse and general diminishing of care and love for the other

[Singh1989 144]

Nothing wrong provided you both are JUST friends.

 

[Guest Truth]

I don’t get people on this forum. The Gurus taught equality and non judgement on the base of caste creed social standing, sex etc. 

So why are so many on this forum incredibly sexist? If you are a man and the universe sends you a woman who is a moral being and a source of your emotional support why not treat her as your sister or a platonic friend? Same the other way around.

 

Sexist and hence primitive beliefs on this forum are part of the reason sexism is still prevalent today. Only once you are free of sexist attitudes can u truly be free from the shackles of maya. We believe in reincarnation...perhaps many on here were women in previous Janams and women were men. This shows you that gender bias cannot exist for it is a complete illusion. Your current state is simply a matter of Karam. 

 

Look ok how many strong women in the last have followed the path of the Bhagwan. It was UNHEARD of for a woman to ride amongst men on horseback and fight in that day and age, yet the Sikh women did it and they did it incredibly well. 

 

I live in a sexist islamic country and I have seen here first hand the incredible harm both psychologically and physically sexism can cause one. 

 

If if you are a man and woman who doesn’t understand the concept of a Platonic friendship and cannot control your primitive urges as many in this Muslim country here cannot then that is your own issue. For those of us who can, let us stand up against sexism both towards men and women and change this world for the better. Teach by example. 

[Guest Truth]

A few edits on my last post - *at *on the path of Bhagti

[Guest GuestSingh]

On 8/9/2019 at 10:00 AM, BhForce said:

Well, if they only had kaam feelings towards each other, it would have been one thing.

But we all know that's 99% likely not the case.

What's more likely is that both she and he fooled around (however you want to define that) with 4 or 5 people before "settling" for their current partners. Even if she/he didn't actually have sex with or even make out with other people, they did lust after them. After it didn't work out with previous partners, they settled for their current ones.

In their mind, they have resentment for their partners because they think they could have done better. At some point or another, when the opportunity presents itself, then they'll take advantage of it to cheat. And that's why Westerners have around a 50% divorce rate. That'd be the same rate for Westernized Punjabis.

 

there was a post on facebook sum yrs bk tht outlined further y sikhs shudnt indulge in relationships before marriage.

apparently even a girls first partner or kiss plus the first time has a bigger psychological impact on her than we knw. it completely affects her mind, thinkin, judgement, rationale etc. theyre biologically hardwired to do this. so wen this happens n they move onto the nxt relationship theyve already set a 'meter' n will weigh up how her wants/needs r met. tht means theyre never gna be content/satisfied wiv someone since theyll always be comparin n thinkin 'what if' hence the exact resentment u mention. we knw how much they rememba everything. cuz they obsess abt these things. so any 'love' wiv these kinda girls is always dubious. its likely to be more real wiv a gd girl if they still exist anymore n if ur blessed to find one.

then theres the fact ur puttin ur a part of ur body into someone else wen theres no guarantee ur gna marry em.

bring bk the 40s/50s/60s housewife. they were more self respecting, sophisticated n stronger than this lot. more of a kaur too. 

[Not2Cool2Argue 494]

On 8/13/2019 at 1:41 PM, Guest Truth said:

I don’t get people on this forum. The Gurus taught equality and non judgement on the base of caste creed social standing, sex etc. 

So why are so many on this forum incredibly sexist? If you are a man and the universe sends you a woman who is a moral being and a source of your emotional support why not treat her as your sister or a platonic friend? Same the other way around.

 

Sexist and hence primitive beliefs on this forum are part of the reason sexism is still prevalent today. Only once you are free of sexist attitudes can u truly be free from the shackles of maya. We believe in reincarnation...perhaps many on here were women in previous Janams and women were men. This shows you that gender bias cannot exist for it is a complete illusion. Your current state is simply a matter of Karam. 

 

Look ok how many strong women in the last have followed the path of the Bhagwan. It was UNHEARD of for a woman to ride amongst men on horseback and fight in that day and age, yet the Sikh women did it and they did it incredibly well. 

 

I live in a sexist islamic country and I have seen here first hand the incredible harm both psychologically and physically sexism can cause one. 

 

If if you are a man and woman who doesn’t understand the concept of a Platonic friendship and cannot control your primitive urges as many in this Muslim country here cannot then that is your own issue. For those of us who can, let us stand up against sexism both towards men and women and change this world for the better. Teach by example. 

If people dont police thwmselves. Then society has gotta do it. Like in muslim lands. And that turns out very bad.

So teach ppl the stricter version any maybe 5% will follow it to the letter. But will still benefit others.  

[Ranjeet01 1,529]

On 8/14/2019 at 4:41 AM, Guest Truth said:

I don’t get people on this forum. The Gurus taught equality and non judgement on the base of caste creed social standing, sex etc. 

So why are so many on this forum incredibly sexist? If you are a man and the universe sends you a woman who is a moral being and a source of your emotional support why not treat her as your sister or a platonic friend? Same the other way around.

 

Sexist and hence primitive beliefs on this forum are part of the reason sexism is still prevalent today. Only once you are free of sexist attitudes can u truly be free from the shackles of maya. We believe in reincarnation...perhaps many on here were women in previous Janams and women were men. This shows you that gender bias cannot exist for it is a complete illusion. Your current state is simply a matter of Karam. 

 

Look ok how many strong women in the last have followed the path of the Bhagwan. It was UNHEARD of for a woman to ride amongst men on horseback and fight in that day and age, yet the Sikh women did it and they did it incredibly well. 

 

I live in a sexist islamic country and I have seen here first hand the incredible harm both psychologically and physically sexism can cause one. 

 

If if you are a man and woman who doesn’t understand the concept of a Platonic friendship and cannot control your primitive urges as many in this Muslim country here cannot then that is your own issue. For those of us who can, let us stand up against sexism both towards men and women and change this world for the better. Teach by example. 

There is a thing that men and women can never really be friends in the platonic manner you ascribe to.

Sex always gets in the way.

When a man is a friend with a woman, his intention is not to be her "friend", it always in the intention to be something more. 

A woman can have many male "friends" even in a non-sexual manner because she is getting the thing a lot of women value and that is attention.

Attention is their goal not sex.

[Guest Truth]

21 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

There is a thing that men and women can never really be friends in the platonic manner you ascribe to.

Sex always gets in the way.

When a man is a friend with a woman, his intention is not to be her "friend", it always in the intention to be something more. 

A woman can have many male "friends" even in a non-sexual manner because she is getting the thing a lot of women value and that is attention.

Attention is their goal not sex.

I am living proof that it is possible. It depends on one's morals and strength of Character. 

If a woman is strong and of high value, she won't let a guys affections for her affect how she treats him ie platonically. And that will in turn teach others that a platonic friendship is possibe.

What you speak of is part of the reason Muslim women cover up, so that men won't look at them in desire. WHY should a woman need to cover up if a man cannot control his urges.

To change the world, we need to treat others with respect. I have met men that women go crazy over to date and I have greeted and treated them like a brother. And the shock and amazement can be seen on their faces because they're not used to women not gawking over them like they're pieces of meat. And they appreciate that respect and can just be themselves without the sex minded <banned word filter activated> getting in the way, because as Nanak said, the world is obsessed with sex. 

Try it for a day, treat guys as your brothers and women as your sisters and see how your behavior will change. Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world instead of allowing the world to control you. 

And maybe you'll find that it's possible to find others who can treat you platonically also. That's how u make a sangat. What's a sangat if the men and women can't respect each other. 

[Guest guest]

On 8/13/2019 at 9:41 PM, Guest Truth said:

I don’t get people on this forum. The Gurus taught equality and non judgement on the base of caste creed social standing, sex etc. 

So why are so many on this forum incredibly sexist? If you are a man and the universe sends you a woman who is a moral being and a source of your emotional support why not treat her as your sister or a platonic friend? Same the other way around.

Sexist and hence primitive beliefs on this forum are part of the reason sexism is still prevalent today. Only once you are free of sexist attitudes can u truly be free from the shackles of maya. We believe in reincarnation...perhaps many on here were women in previous Janams and women were men. This shows you that gender bias cannot exist for it is a complete illusion. Your current state is simply a matter of Karam. 

Look ok how many strong women in the last have followed the path of the Bhagwan. It was UNHEARD of for a woman to ride amongst men on horseback and fight in that day and age, yet the Sikh women did it and they did it incredibly well. 

I live in a sexist islamic country and I have seen here first hand the incredible harm both psychologically and physically sexism can cause one. 

If if you are a man and woman who doesn’t understand the concept of a Platonic friendship and cannot control your primitive urges as many in this Muslim country here cannot then that is your own issue. For those of us who can, let us stand up against sexism both towards men and women and change this world for the better. Teach by example. 

who said we are not capable of maintaining platonic relationships?  is that what you think?  rather,  it's a question of decorum and propriety, not urges.  do you think people acted in Guru's times how people are acting today?

i don't understand why you need to have friendships with opposite gender anyway.  (and i mean friendships, i am not taking about being sociable in public or working/ interacting with colleagues).  i'm talking about joking around together, socialising, exchanging phone numbers,  meeting up, hugging and touching etc

all you stuff about "equality" and "non-judgement" - just the words you use prove you're just projecting you "modern" conditioning on sikhi.  no one is saying that woman are inferior to men.  men and woman are not equal because they are not the same.  for example, would you like to be room mates with a group of men?  or would you like to change your clothes in front of your male colleagues?  so stop this lie about men and women being "equal".

we teach children not to talk to strangers.  is it because we think every stranger is a murderer?  no.  it's to protect the children.

and yes people are going to judge you because it's the natural thing for them to do.  

women were riding horses before sikhism, and doing battle to.  and it was not that common for women to be riding horses or doing battle (you wouldn't usually send a woman into battle).

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

On 8/16/2019 at 10:19 PM, Guest Truth said:

I am living proof that it is possible. It depends on one's morals and strength of Character. 

If a woman is strong and of high value, she won't let a guys affections for her affect how she treats him ie platonically. And that will in turn teach others that a platonic friendship is possibe.

What you speak of is part of the reason Muslim women cover up, so that men won't look at them in desire. WHY should a woman need to cover up if a man cannot control his urges.

To change the world, we need to treat others with respect. I have met men that women go crazy over to date and I have greeted and treated them like a brother. And the shock and amazement can be seen on their faces because they're not used to women not gawking over them like they're pieces of meat. And they appreciate that respect and can just be themselves without the sex minded <banned word filter activated> getting in the way, because as Nanak said, the world is obsessed with sex. 

Try it for a day, treat guys as your brothers and women as your sisters and see how your behavior will change. Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world instead of allowing the world to control you. 

And maybe you'll find that it's possible to find others who can treat you platonically also. That's how u make a sangat. What's a sangat if the men and women can't respect each other. 

your problem is that you think everyone is like you, and you are also pretty naive about human nature in general.

e.g. i have had guys tell me how deliberately call their female friends at night because that is the best time to initiate sex talk with a view to turning it into phone sex.

 

[BhForce 1,130]

On 8/15/2019 at 10:57 AM, GuestSingh said:

apparently even a girls first partner or kiss plus the first time has a bigger psychological impact on her than we knw. it completely affects her mind, thinkin, judgement, rationale etc. theyre biologically hardwired to do this. so wen this happens n they move onto the nxt relationship theyve already set a 'meter' n will weigh up how her wants/needs r met. tht means theyre never gna be content/satisfied

Great point, bro. Dating is a stupid system. Arrange marriage has problems, but it's the best if done properly.

[BhForce 1,130]

On 8/16/2019 at 2:19 PM, Guest Truth said:

I have met men that women go crazy over to date and I have greeted and treated them like a brother

Alright, that's good.

Treat men as brothers, women as sisters and not in a lustful way.

That's all fine. In fact, that's Gurmat.

But the people that are opposing you (or possibly another anonymous poster) is when you (or someone) say that you can be friends with a man just like  you would be with a female friend.

That is, do things together alone. Go over to each other's apartment. Call each other at all hours of the night. Be physically close (sit right next to each other, hold hands, hug, possibly kiss, etc.).

No, you can't do that. And if you think you can, you are the most naive person in the world.

So please don't do that. And if you want to, at least don't encourage other young people to do that.

[BhForce 1,130]

On 8/16/2019 at 2:19 PM, Guest Truth said:

 

 Try it for a day, treat guys as your brothers and women as your sisters and see how your behavior will change. Why don't you be the change you want to see in the world instead of allowing the world to control you. 

I don't know if it was you that was posting in the beginning pages of this thread, but if so, why didn't you just lead with that?

Why didn't you say "treat men as brothers, women as sisters"? 

Instead of saying "females can be friends."

It made people think that your real goal was to equivocate (call two things the same that are actually different). That you were trying to put "friendship" and "boyfriends/girlfriends" in the same box so that one could lead to another.