Jump to content

I am on the verge of losing my heart . Is it immoral of me to ask my wife to terminate this pregnancy and start from a fresh page?


Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! ?

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! ?

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

As a father of 4 wonderful children i have no words to describe how selfish and self centered you are with what you've just posted, if this is the attitude you have at the moment what kind of parent are you going to be.

Everything you posted is so ill informed it's beyond a joke, go and ask your parent how hey would have reacted if you had some sort of birth defect, how very "Sikh" of you to want to dump your child if it has birth defects.

The fact that you have to ask if it's wrong of you to think this way sum's up what kind of human being you are, how your parents haven;t slapped you half way to the moon is beyond me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, kcmidlands said:

As a father of 4 wonderful children i have no words to describe how selfish and self centered you are with what you've just posted, if this is the attitude you have at the moment what kind of parent are you going to be.

Everything you posted is so ill informed it's beyond a joke, go and ask your parent how hey would have reacted if you had some sort of birth defect, how very "Sikh" of you to want to dump your child if it has birth defects.

The fact that you have to ask if it's wrong of you to think this way sum's up what kind of human being you are, how your parents haven;t slapped you half way to the moon is beyond me.

you're a father of 4 wonderful children. hence its easy for you to say all this.

I was just being prudent ! You think I am not crying buckets of tears ?? i am crying more over this than my wife ever will . but an early pregnancy riddled with long term fever is not an ideal scenario to continue pregnancy. 

are you going to pay for my defective child ? then don't judge me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! ?

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

Bhaji, abortion is wrong and you shouldn't do it. Vaheguru ji is the giver of life and death and to terminate a child for our own gain is against Hukan and you will have to reap the consequences of the Paso. Also Maharaj would never allow it. Maharaj banned Kuri maar and in my opinion that's not just restricted to girls. It's the fact that you don't want the child even though Vaheguru has blessed you with the child. What face will you show Maharaj? Think about these things. Do Ardas and read Gurbani to help reduce and cure her fever. Sarb Rog Ka Aukhad Naam.

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

Link to comment
Share on other sites

34 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

you're a father of 4 wonderful children. hence its easy for you to say all this.

I was just being prudent ! You think I am not crying buckets of tears ?? i am crying more over this than my wife ever will . but an early pregnancy riddled with long term fever is not an ideal scenario to continue pregnancy. 

are you going to pay for my defective child ? then don't judge me

It isn't easy for me to say, just because a child is born without any defects doesn't mean you won't face other difficulties with them in the future.

A child isn't an object that you can dump because they don't fit you perfect version of the world, my elder sister's son has Autism, she never dumped him, she never looked at him as if he was a financial burden, 

I'm sorry man, but you so full of <banned word filter activated> it's unbelievable, you ask people not to judge you then you go and post all your issues on a public forum, crying more tears than your wife, give me a break, go and speak to women you have lost their children during a pregnancy or at the moment of birth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! ?

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

Wow just wow, what a messed up world view you have, she has an illness possibly hormone induced so you solution is to kill your innocent child? How old are you? Stop being a F'in huge member and care for your family properly . You have zero understanding of how autism starts so stop acting like you do. Take her to a homeopath they can do a lot for pregnant women without harming the baby . You have very good quality medically trained homeopaths there , take advantadge of it, plus do it sooner rather than later.

 

You are neither prudent nor even on the basic level humane .... I am not surprised everyone is horrified at your suggestions .You need to stop with your evil scheming mind and selfish attitude. What happens is in your destiny you cannot run from it, it will happen because it is hukham . Grow up and try placing yourself  your wife's shoes listening to your words and dealing with your behaviour and see just how horrible it is and damaging it is.

P.s. how dare you blame a woman for an illness which you do not the cause of, as her irresponsibility , maybe your parents should have ended you because you aren't 'normal' , before you get it twisted this is your analysis of the value of your child. Who gets to decide what is normal? low grade fevers are common in pregnancy especially in the first trimester because of sudden swings of natural hormones plus vomiting taking fluids out of the system it is the height of temperatures right now in India. Give your overactive imagination a rest and make sure she gets good hydration , perhaps pick your mum's brain she may know of cooling treatments .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

53 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

low grade fevers are common in pregnancy especially in the first trimester because of sudden swings of natural hormones plus vomiting taking fluids out of the system it is the height of temperatures right now in India

Its not a friggin low-grade fever lady !! do u even understand more than 102 degrees Farhenheit is NOT low-grade. low grade would be something like 99 to 99.5 

34 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You got a demon in... nah, I'm just messing with you, but just chill out, bro. No need to throw the baby out with the cold, cold bathwater. ?

Do some paat; ask for guidance and clarity. Hold it together. 

My parents don't want to give up the baby. 

People here think I am some cruel bada** , what if I told you I have cried like 10 times since yesterday . 

People think men are not emotionally attached to their children . Grow the fkk up . and remove those feminist lenses for once 

UPDATE :

She has most-likely a 'viral' fever . And unfortunately viral fever don't go that easily. I am just sad at the state of things and on borderline depression and questioning everything in my life

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

43 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You got a demon in... nah, I'm just messing with you, but just chill out, bro. No need to throw the baby out with the cold, cold bathwater. ?

Do some paat; ask for guidance and clarity. Hold it together. 

and support a sick baby for the rest of ur life ?? 

I don't know where she got the fever virus from :/ 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

and support a sick baby for the rest of ur life ?? 

I don't know where she got the fever virus from :/ 

Why are you jumping to the worst possible scenario so quickly?

How did bibiya in the cavemen days give birth to healthy kids who subsequently perpetuated the human species for successive generations when they were existing in terribly harsh natural conditions? A virus is nothing to worry about with modern medicine at hand. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
    • Wasn't Guru Arjan Dev's martyrdom on amd always commemorated on 6th June? How come it was 30th May?  Just like 6th June 84, where the likes of Terrorists like Indira Gandhi chose to attack Darbar Sahib where many many innocent Sikhs would suffer, as they went to commemorate Martyrdom of Maharaj. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use