I am on the verge of losing my heart . Is it immoral of me to ask my wife to terminate this pregnancy and start from a fresh page?

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle !

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

Edited July 14 by AjeetSingh2019

[kcmidlands 135]

1 hour ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle !

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

As a father of 4 wonderful children i have no words to describe how selfish and self centered you are with what you've just posted, if this is the attitude you have at the moment what kind of parent are you going to be.

Everything you posted is so ill informed it's beyond a joke, go and ask your parent how hey would have reacted if you had some sort of birth defect, how very "Sikh" of you to want to dump your child if it has birth defects.

The fact that you have to ask if it's wrong of you to think this way sum's up what kind of human being you are, how your parents haven;t slapped you half way to the moon is beyond me.

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

4 minutes ago, kcmidlands said:

As a father of 4 wonderful children i have no words to describe how selfish and self centered you are with what you've just posted, if this is the attitude you have at the moment what kind of parent are you going to be.

Everything you posted is so ill informed it's beyond a joke, go and ask your parent how hey would have reacted if you had some sort of birth defect, how very "Sikh" of you to want to dump your child if it has birth defects.

The fact that you have to ask if it's wrong of you to think this way sum's up what kind of human being you are, how your parents haven;t slapped you half way to the moon is beyond me.

you're a father of 4 wonderful children. hence its easy for you to say all this.

I was just being prudent ! You think I am not crying buckets of tears ?? i am crying more over this than my wife ever will . but an early pregnancy riddled with long term fever is not an ideal scenario to continue pregnancy. 

are you going to pay for my defective child ? then don't judge me

[RajKaregaKhalsa1 301]

2 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle !

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

Bhaji, abortion is wrong and you shouldn't do it. Vaheguru ji is the giver of life and death and to terminate a child for our own gain is against Hukan and you will have to reap the consequences of the Paso. Also Maharaj would never allow it. Maharaj banned Kuri maar and in my opinion that's not just restricted to girls. It's the fact that you don't want the child even though Vaheguru has blessed you with the child. What face will you show Maharaj? Think about these things. Do Ardas and read Gurbani to help reduce and cure her fever. Sarb Rog Ka Aukhad Naam.

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

Edited July 14 by RajKaregaKhalsa1

[kcmidlands 135]

34 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

you're a father of 4 wonderful children. hence its easy for you to say all this.

I was just being prudent ! You think I am not crying buckets of tears ?? i am crying more over this than my wife ever will . but an early pregnancy riddled with long term fever is not an ideal scenario to continue pregnancy. 

are you going to pay for my defective child ? then don't judge me

It isn't easy for me to say, just because a child is born without any defects doesn't mean you won't face other difficulties with them in the future.

A child isn't an object that you can dump because they don't fit you perfect version of the world, my elder sister's son has Autism, she never dumped him, she never looked at him as if he was a financial burden, 

I'm sorry man, but you so full of <banned word filter activated> it's unbelievable, you ask people not to judge you then you go and post all your issues on a public forum, crying more tears than your wife, give me a break, go and speak to women you have lost their children during a pregnancy or at the moment of birth.

[jkvlondon 4,932]

2 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle !

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

Wow just wow, what a messed up world view you have, she has an illness possibly hormone induced so you solution is to kill your innocent child? How old are you? Stop being a F'in huge member and care for your family properly . You have zero understanding of how autism starts so stop acting like you do. Take her to a homeopath they can do a lot for pregnant women without harming the baby . You have very good quality medically trained homeopaths there , take advantadge of it, plus do it sooner rather than later.

 

You are neither prudent nor even on the basic level humane .... I am not surprised everyone is horrified at your suggestions .You need to stop with your evil scheming mind and selfish attitude. What happens is in your destiny you cannot run from it, it will happen because it is hukham . Grow up and try placing yourself  your wife's shoes listening to your words and dealing with your behaviour and see just how horrible it is and damaging it is.

P.s. how dare you blame a woman for an illness which you do not the cause of, as her irresponsibility , maybe your parents should have ended you because you aren't 'normal' , before you get it twisted this is your analysis of the value of your child. Who gets to decide what is normal? low grade fevers are common in pregnancy especially in the first trimester because of sudden swings of natural hormones plus vomiting taking fluids out of the system it is the height of temperatures right now in India. Give your overactive imagination a rest and make sure she gets good hydration , perhaps pick your mum's brain she may know of cooling treatments .

Edited July 14 by jkvlondon

[MisterrSingh 3,281]

You got a demon in... nah, I'm just messing with you, but just chill out, bro. No need to throw the baby out with the cold, cold bathwater.

Do some paat; ask for guidance and clarity. Hold it together. 

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

53 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

low grade fevers are common in pregnancy especially in the first trimester because of sudden swings of natural hormones plus vomiting taking fluids out of the system it is the height of temperatures right now in India

Its not a friggin low-grade fever lady !! do u even understand more than 102 degrees Farhenheit is NOT low-grade. low grade would be something like 99 to 99.5 

34 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You got a demon in... nah, I'm just messing with you, but just chill out, bro. No need to throw the baby out with the cold, cold bathwater.

Do some paat; ask for guidance and clarity. Hold it together. 

My parents don't want to give up the baby. 

People here think I am some cruel bada** , what if I told you I have cried like 10 times since yesterday . 

People think men are not emotionally attached to their children . Grow the fkk up . and remove those feminist lenses for once 

UPDATE :

She has most-likely a 'viral' fever . And unfortunately viral fever don't go that easily. I am just sad at the state of things and on borderline depression and questioning everything in my life

 

Edited July 14 by AjeetSingh2019

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

43 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

You got a demon in... nah, I'm just messing with you, but just chill out, bro. No need to throw the baby out with the cold, cold bathwater.

Do some paat; ask for guidance and clarity. Hold it together. 

and support a sick baby for the rest of ur life ?? 

I don't know where she got the fever virus from  

[MisterrSingh 3,281]

17 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

and support a sick baby for the rest of ur life ?? 

I don't know where she got the fever virus from  

Why are you jumping to the worst possible scenario so quickly?

How did bibiya in the cavemen days give birth to healthy kids who subsequently perpetuated the human species for successive generations when they were existing in terribly harsh natural conditions? A virus is nothing to worry about with modern medicine at hand. 

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

10 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

How did bibiya in the cavemen days give birth to healthy kids who subsequently perpetuated the human species for successive generations when they were existing in terribly harsh natural conditions? A virus is nothing to worry about with modern medicine at hand. 

how do you know the women having weeks of fever in caves didn't give birth to retarded , or otherwise handicapped children ?? 

10 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Why are you jumping to the worst possible scenario so quickly?

 

it helps me assess how "bad" it can get. naturally making me mentally prepare for it . anything lesser would be less of a shock

[MisterrSingh 3,281]

2 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

how do you know the women having weeks of fever in caves didn't give birth to retarded , or otherwise handicapped children ?? 

We'd be a race of literal spastics otherwise. 

It's your decision, your life. Do what you feel is best according to your situation.

[RajKaregaKhalsa1 301]

4 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

how do you know the women having weeks of fever in caves didn't give birth to retarded , or otherwise handicapped children ?? 

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

It's Vaheguru Ji's Bhana if the Child is born with a disability or not (due to Pichle Karam). The point is you're a parent and your responsibility is to bring up this child as a Gursikh. It's a paap to kill your child. So, whatever happens say Vaheguru ji thank you for your gifts please kirpa karo and helps us.

।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕਾ ਖ਼ਾਲਸਾ।।ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ਜੀ ਕੀ ਫ਼ਤਹਿ।

[dallysingh101 1,685]

Wow!

Try being supportive and caring to the wife Ajeet.

How you're behaving can only negatively affect your wife's mental and physical state too. Stressing her even further, can make her hormones and stuff like cortisol flood her body even further, this can also negatively affect your unborn child! ANd you'll be the cause of that!

I thought even the dumbest fool knows that being super supportive and kind to the missus during pregnancy is a must. That in itself can also actually help speed up recovery from any ailment like the fever you mention. 

Seriously, reading your post literally had me gob-smacked. 

As other people mentioned, don't go expecting the worse, and don't do that typical desi thing of creating a negative, toxic environment in your house because you can't get a lid on your own emotions. 

[AjeetSingh2019 28]

19 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Wow!

Try being supportive and caring to the wife Ajeet.

How you're behaving can only negatively affect your wife's mental and physical state too. Stressing her even further, can make her hormones and stuff like cortisol flood her body even further, this can also negatively affect your unborn child! ANd you'll be the cause of that!

I thought even the dumbest fool knows that being super supportive and kind to the missus during pregnancy is a must. That in itself can also actually help speed up recovery from any ailment like the fever you mention. 

Seriously, reading your post literally had me gob-smacked. 

As other people mentioned, don't go expecting the worse, and don't do that typical desi thing of creating a negative, toxic environment in your house because you can't get a lid on your own emotions. 

As a father its my right to not have a child who has birth defects. unfortunately its rainy season here and viral is common 

Feminazis and men inspired by them are calling out on my decision to not have a child sick since day one, but i don't give a <banned word filter activated> to what they think