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AjeetSingh2019

I am on the verge of losing my heart . Is it immoral of me to ask my wife to terminate this pregnancy and start from a fresh page?

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On 7/17/2019 at 5:09 PM, MisterrSingh said:

If he's been reading Sun Tzu lately, which he has, he's probably been inspired by the strategies contained in the writing. I wonder if he's playing his wife off against his parents to engineer conflict, while he benefits from the fallout by encouraging a situation that either leads to divorce or something a lot more malevolent and permanent for somebody...? 

You have to be kidding. I downloaded Sun Tzu's art of war pdf and read it one day back from office to home. Didn't make sense to mefor he most part. You can't really utilize it in personal matters , its just for war sake !!

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13 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

She's still going to her peke ! her parents harass us for this very same reason. Despite us telling not to move in pregnancy, she still wants to travel and adamant. AS I SAID , YOU DO NOT KNOW MY WIFE !! 

HER CHALITARS WOULD PUT CHARITROPAKHYAN TO SHAME ! 

You know, after reading this thread (and a few other's you started about your married life and before that) I really have no idea why you got married, i could go on and dissect everything you've said but it's apparent that you really don't care and all you want is attention and for people to feel sorry for your plight.

I will say this though, i understand you looking out for your parents, not wanting your wife to cause them grief, we all want that a son's but our parents aren't going to be around forever, when they've gone your going to be stuck with a wife who you've pretty much gone to war with.

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15 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

She's still going to her peke ! her parents harass us for this very same reason. Despite us telling not to move in pregnancy, she still wants to travel and adamant. AS I SAID , YOU DO NOT KNOW MY WIFE !! 

HER CHALITARS WOULD PUT CHARITROPAKHYAN TO SHAME ! 

Ok, she is going back to her peke , not with your blessing that's clear for all to see. Old tradition was girl would go to her peke when she is pregnant with first child because they know her better and she would feel less stressed. The other thing is she's pregnant not dying of a disease, women have done hard labour in fields etc up until the last minute, many women maintain exercising throughout pregnancy unless high blood pressure is an issue. I travelled by plane up until week 27.It is a natural , well planned for state of being.

She is shouty, yes, she is spoilt , yes, she manipulates but so do you; I feel sorry for your Mum and Dad not for eitherof you,  because they are caught up in both of your dramas . ... But there is no way she can be compared to the charitars , she has not cheated on you, or seduced people so please step off no one is buying that BS you are peddling.

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15 hours ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

for god's sake , atleast once see the issue from my mom's pov

Yeah I can and she must be thinking what the hell did I do to be stuck in the middle of this hellish situation. She is theone person that tried to smooth things down but you are total headcase who will not let things lie and calm down. You keep poking and prodding to get your wife upset , then she takes it out on your Mum because you've p'd off so as to not catch any backlash and she needs to blow off steam. You really are a nasty piece , who wants there to be strife to get rid of your dharam paatni and you really have not illustrated once that you are willing to take a tongue lashing to resolve the issues you've created.

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6 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

Yeah I can and she must be thinking what the hell did I do to be stuck in the middle of this hellish situation. She is theone person that tried to smooth things down but you are total headcase who will not let things lie and calm down. You keep poking and prodding to get your wife upset , then she takes it out on your Mum because you've p'd off so as to not catch any backlash and she needs to blow off steam. You really are a nasty piece , who wants there to be strife to get rid of your dharam paatni and you really have not illustrated once that you are willing to take a tongue lashing to resolve the issues you've created.

I ultimately realized yesterday it was my mistake as well. Frustration over concern of health of baby made me lash out at my wife as well. That didn't fixed anything, only made matters worse. 

It was a god given epiphany I guess 

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8 minutes ago, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I ultimately realized yesterday it was my mistake as well. Frustration over concern of health of baby made me lash out at my wife as well. That didn't fixed anything, only made matters worse. 

It was a god given epiphany I guess 

There is no excuse for doing all that nonsense and you know it, deep down. In a few short months, someone will be looking at you as their protector, example , moral instructor, it's time to grow up and be serious . You need to lead by example by showing everyone that bazurg and women are meant to be respected but if they do not respect each other you will not tolerate any nonsense in your household. Missus needs to grow up too part of the whole experience and the end labour will change her  , don't be too surprised if she becomes fiercely protective and more responsible for this child. If it can happen to others it can happen in your home too. Just stick with doing your paat and keep caring for all your folks , you can do it , just focus on one day at a time and not borrow worries for the future .

It's easy to overthink things because the medical doctors like 'warning' about the things that can go wrong , if you make sure of nutrition and rest it goes a long way . 

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On 7/19/2019 at 5:43 PM, AjeetSingh2019 said:

I ultimately realized yesterday it was my mistake as well. Frustration over concern of health of baby made me lash out at my wife as well. That didn't fixed anything, only made matters worse. 

It was a god given epiphany I guess 

Hey Ajeet! I personally like reading your lifestory...its quite entertaining. Although most of the time its you getting mad at your wife. 

Dont you know you are supposed to treat her extra nicely? So that if she finds out about your orientation, she wont hold it against you nor leave you.

Also, now your goi g to be a father. So please dont make a household where the parents are always angry with each other or putti g each other down. Its sad for the kid. Also my mom used to be one of those ppl who blames people for any kind of tragedy. Like the tire got flat, it was because you drove it over some thorns, weeks ago. And if you get sick, its because you had icecream 5 weeks ago. And if you had an accident, because you ate at the aunts house that does bad magic. Its really annoying. My dad is the opposite. He wont blame you but try to find solutions to the problem. Like i get in a car accident, my mom panics, yells how could it happen, can you run away from there?  I was like No my car is smoking and someone probably called the police. And she goes, oh why r u so stupid, couldnt you have driven off before? My dad calls says, ok u had an accident. Dont leave. Stay. Police will come, tell them what happened. Use a tow truck to get home. 

Ofc when i get home, he will grill me about what happened and how i can drive better.

Basically, I am saying when your a parent, dont be one who always blames and panics and yells at the kid. Instead be calm, offer solutions, and later on find ou what happened and where the kid went wrong. I feel like you have the panicking personality, which is terrible and makes a horrible home atmosphere. Work on it. 

Also, why dont you go take a hukamnama everytime you have a crisis? Lots of people I know do that here. 

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On 7/14/2019 at 12:37 AM, AjeetSingh2019 said:

We were all excited and upbeat , esp my parents over the pregnancy . My wife is around 9 week pregnant [first trimester] .But then our world came crashing down as she got fever . Her gynaec had told her on day one that no medicines can be given during pregnancy. This was when she complained of pregnancy-related body pains.

She was all well since then. Her initial sonography gave us the glimpse of my baby's beating heart and we even got to hear it . We were all thankful to god.

But then suddenly the night before yesterday she developed fever . Yesterday it keep alternating between high and low . Today morning it wnt beyond 102F. 

By this point we had already talked to her gynaec and she recommended us seeing a physician . So we were prescribed good ol' fever reducer - paracetamol which is considered safe for pregnant women as well . But the point is her fever comes and goes and thats whats keeping me alarmed.

By this point I was already p*ssed off at my wife , to the point of saying more than once "You already having fevers with your baby still inside you in first trimester and I am having qualms over how your fever and the meds for it are gonna affect my baby for the worse. I am NOT responsible for this child" . 

I am angry at her because it was her stupid lifestyle like "eating cold foods from fridge, etc" and "taking a cold kesi ishnaan"  that led to develop this fever . 

So I told her a radical solution : Lets terminate this and we start afresh from a start page , this time we will be more careful . But this idea was rebuked by her and my parents were repulsed of it . They wanna go with this pregnancy. 

I don't want to invest my time and money in having a child who has birth defects or has autism , ADHD or other weird sicknesses simply because my stupid woman lead an irresponsible lifestyle ! 😢

Is it wrong of me to think this way ? I think I was just being prudent of starting a fresh chapter and not creating a child that is at risk of being a liability for me 

Bro....I'm not even gonna gonna read past this first post. Your undetstanding of medicine/health is...non existent...and you're being a <banned word filter activated>...

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I want the person who started this topic to listen to someone who was not to live and the parents decided to abort. Did you know when we are inside of the womb we can hear and understand everything. You think about aborting that child well you what happened to me I was born 2 moths pre-mature. Even though I did not know of this but I struggled throughout my childhood that the people who are claiming to be parents are not my real parents. I still struggle though this life even if I am a 1/2 century old. Unborn can hear everything don't think a fetus is dumb.

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    • LMAO!   how do these people come up with these plans    thats crazy      its fascinating!      I dont think i would b able to keep straight face if chatting with this chap.  
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