Amrit & Dastar

[Guest Navjoht]

Hi to all,

So I have problem, maybe it's not even a problem, maybe it's my insecurities I don't know.

So I'm ready to take Amrit 100%. I do my Paath, I don't remove no hair whatsoever and try to be a good human being in general.

So I believe when I do take Amrit my head should be covered at all times .

However I am having trouble with this.

So I've been practicing the Dastar for many months now  and it simply does not suit me. I know you are probably thinking I am silly for even writing this but it does not suit my face. I've also tried different styles. So i figured I would wear a patka instead but I have a weird shaped head or something (lol), I don't know but patka don't look good at all.

I don't know why I am even writing this post, I guess most of the replies will tell me I have insecurity issues and need to be more  confident.  I'm not really insecure at all . I have slight facial hair on my upper lip. I often have people at work, other girls saying I need to wax but I couldn't care less what others think about it.

However I just want to tie a nice dastar that suits my face.  :( 

Is there any other people out there, that faced same issue with dastar, I've tried many styles :(

 

 

 

[puzzled 1,692]

I tie gol dastar. I also tried all the different styles of dastar and gol dastar suited me the most lol    

I wear parka as well. 

[kidsama 27]

On 2/7/2020 at 4:35 AM, Guest Navjoht said:

I don't know why I am even writing this post, I guess most of the replies will tell me I have insecurity issues and need to be more  confident.  

 

no you aren't insecure, one needs to look good and feel comfortable at the same time. idk what to tell you tho, I am a guy and I am not really religious at all. I wear a small keski, not covering the ears (so ears don't hurt and I can put in glasses) and on top I tie a black dastaar (2m), in the same way you wear a keski/parna. I always sit down in Chokri and freestyle it, larr by larr, without looking in the mirror. My style is like those smaller UK style paggs but better. Sometimes Its a bit gol sometimes it has that A shape giving it the crown look. That's what works for me. 

I started keeping hair and wearing dastaar only a couple months ago. Just keep trying, try to find new clothes, maybe look around the house. Don't get frustrated, hopefully you will find your style. 

[Guest Singh]

You are not insecure - don’t even think that. 

For a girl in Sikhi, there is nothing saying you ‘have’ to wear a dastaar.

Women started wearing dastaar during times of battle. It served a purpose - to protect your head. All our clothing has some purpose to it. If you want to keep your hair clean and tidy a keski does the job. 

The most important thing is to follow the Sikhi principles of Naam jap, earn honest living, give back - seva. Don’t get confused seeing Sikh girls wear dastaar thinking you must too. I’ve seen lots of girls and boys who get into Sikhi and think bana is really important. They focus on ‘looking like a sikh’ These people only focus on the outside and don’t naam jap. After a few years they slowly drift away from Sikhi because what they were searching for only comes from naam simran.

I’m not trying to discourage you, it’s your choice. If you want to wear a dastaar then do it with pride, but not because you feel you have to. In short remember amrit is a step in your inner (spiritual) journey.

[1Anonymous1 7]

I think dumalla suits everyone’s head as there’s so many ways you can tie it . Big, small, round, and you can end it anywhere. 
 

Just tie loads of styles, don’t give up on the dastaar. Maharaj has given his Khalsa a dastaar with a keski not a patka.

Once you start tying a dastaar you’ll go through loads of styles then you’ll find your one, this happened to me and almost all dastardhari people. 
 

I think most  styles do probably suit you, it’s mostly your mind getting used to tying a dastaar for the first time. 

[jkvlondon 4,974]

On 2/9/2020 at 7:45 PM, Guest Singh said:

You are not insecure - don’t even think that. 

For a girl in Sikhi, there is nothing saying you ‘have’ to wear a dastaar.

Women started wearing dastaar during times of battle. It served a purpose - to protect your head. All our clothing has some purpose to it. If you want to keep your hair clean and tidy a keski does the job. 

The most important thing is to follow the Sikhi principles of Naam jap, earn honest living, give back - seva. Don’t get confused seeing Sikh girls wear dastaar thinking you must too. I’ve seen lots of girls and boys who get into Sikhi and think bana is really important. They focus on ‘looking like a sikh’ These people only focus on the outside and don’t naam jap. After a few years they slowly drift away from Sikhi because what they were searching for only comes from naam simran.

I’m not trying to discourage you, it’s your choice. If you want to wear a dastaar then do it with pride, but not because you feel you have to. In short remember amrit is a step in your inner (spiritual) journey.

do not insert your own mat please , original   Akal Takht maryada was ALL abhilakees are supposed to wear dastar , it was only changed as a 'temporary measure' by a SGPC jathedar in 1931 to excuse his own missus from having to wear a dastar and other fashion minded bibian.

OP: if your face is a rounder shape , try introduce  triangular laid lards in your gol dastar above your forehead it holds the dastar firm, slimly and makes the visual impression of a slightly longer face, Changing the colour also changes the look against your skin e.g. if you look yellow/sickly when wearing black  try blues which help bring rosy shades up in your skin .

[Guest Singh]

7 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

do not insert your own mat please , original   Akal Takht maryada was ALL abhilakees are supposed to wear dastar , it was only changed as a 'temporary measure' by a SGPC jathedar in 1931 to excuse his own missus from having to wear a dastar and other fashion minded bibian.

OP: if your face is a rounder shape , try introduce  triangular laid lards in your gol dastar above your forehead it holds the dastar firm, slimly and makes the visual impression of a slightly longer face, Changing the colour also changes the look against your skin e.g. if you look yellow/sickly when wearing black  try blues which help bring rosy shades up in your skin .

Sums up everything I said. Focus is to much on ‘looking like a sikh’. No focus at all on the the things which will bring you close to god - simran, naam abiyaas 

[jkvlondon 4,974]

3 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

Sums up everything I said. Focus is to much on ‘looking like a sikh’. No focus at all on the the things which will bring you close to god - simran, naam abiyaas 

why wouldn't you want to look like your father ? besides if the person is wearing his/her dastar comfortably and securely then it fades from the mind as an issue . I am not excusing anyone from their known duties as a Gursikh but I don't want people to believe a false narrative about bibian not having to wear dastars , it is the preferred way to keep head covered as it stays puts all day , it signifies which House the bibi belongs to , If you have to go out in an emergency you already are tyar . It also gives protection from blows to the head if attacked .

[1Anonymous1 7]

22 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

Sums up everything I said. Focus is to much on ‘looking like a sikh’. No focus at all on the the things which will bring you close to god - simran, naam abiyaas 

Both are equally as important. Bani and bana. Maharaj described them both as wings. Yes maybe more influence is given to outward appearance than simran but that doesn’t mean that you take the stress off rehat and put it more on bani as you just did. You should be encouraging OP to keep rehat of Dastaar and naam simran not taking the stress of Dastaar and putting more emphasis on simran. They are both equal. Rehat keeps the simran going, you can’t have one without the other. You should have encouraged op to tie Dastaar and tell her to do naam simran as well not just outwardly appearance. 
bhul chuk maaf