Taking money from parents ...

[jkvlondon]

18 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Also think of it from his point of view. Or how you would feel if ur child who u helped raise, and bought everything for, and worked hard jours for suddenly goes, Oh no its ok Dad. You need it more than me. I can support myself now. Dont really need ur help. I am richer than you now.

You might not say it like that. But thats what it could come across as. So just accept it and be thankful

 

there's is too much mollycoddling going on in our folks these days that's why the kids are soft, undisciplined and mostly unaware of street smarts . Yes I have been the daughter who worked her first job  and got her Mum a washing machine because I knew how hard she worked and I wanted to lighten her load, I was going to benefit as well as I could help by totally taking over the duties (I used to do the washes at the launderette and in the bath tub by hand) , but my Dad was livid . He took it as a personal affront (he was redundant at the time), but when I explained that it would mean that everyone could chip in with chores from smallest to largest then he seemed to calm down . This is different but similar , no reasonably intelligent parent would be insulted by seeing their kids able to operate in the world as adults and look after themselves they would take it that they instilled good qualities and ethics in their kid .

[dallysingh101]

On 3/20/2020 at 9:41 PM, puzzled said:

We're told to never take money from som1 or anything that is not ours and i never have!  even if i find money iv never kept it but always put it in the golak, never took food without asking. But what if your parent is giving you money is it ok to take it! My dad gives me money sometimes like today he told me to put his money in the bank for him and take £50 for myself      is it ok to take money from your parents!         last week he gave me £13 and told me to go out and treat myself with food and stuff and i never took it and left it in the kitchen, nxt day he asked me why i havnt taken it, i didnt know what to say so i said i forgot and that i'll take it upstairs later on. 

iv never taken what is not mine   only taken it if offered by the other person  like at work people share food      but not sure about money ...

It's nice that he looks after you like this, you should appreciate it,  but you're 27, so you might want to start getting a bit more self reliant maybe? 

[puzzled]

11 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

It's nice that he looks after you like this, you should appreciate it,  but you're 27, so you might want to start getting a bit more self reliant maybe? 

i am self reliant! i even buy my own food! i even buy things for the house   like i buyed new radiators for the house about a year back, im always buying small things for the house now and then.    clothes i buy i obviously pay for myself.    my dad wears safety boots at work and he needs new ones every couple of months and i always buy him new ones from online. etc   

i think parents end up in a habit of where they still feel like being responsible in a good way  and giving money even when your older.    

just today my mum told to look for a new vacuum cleaner online and im probably gnna pay for that as well. in the last store i worked in i used get discount and used to buy house/kitchen stuff for my mum all the time. 

on the other hands, no joke, but i have cousins who steal money from their own parents wallets! and then their parents come to my mum because they are upset.  

[dallysingh101]

1 minute ago, puzzled said:

i am self reliant! i even buy my own food! i even buy things for the house   like i buyed new radiators for the house about a year back, im always buying small things for the house now and then.    clothes i buy i obviously pay for myself.    my dad wears safety boots at work and he needs new ones every couple of months and i always buy him new ones from online. etc   

i think parents end up in a habit of where they still feel like being responsible in a good way  and giving money even when your older.    

just today my mum told to look for a new vacuum cleaner online and im probably gnna pay for that as well. in the last store i worked in i used get discount and used to buy house/kitchen stuff for my mum all the time. 

on the other hands, no joke, but i have cousins who steal money from their own parents wallets! and then their parents come to my mum because they are upset.  

Do you have any siblings? 

[puzzled]

3 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Do you have any siblings? 

yh 1 sister   shes helps parents a lot as well, she helps even more than i do lol 

[dallysingh101]

Just now, puzzled said:

yh 1 sister   shes helps parents a lot as well, she helps even more than i do lol 

You know on the other hand, parents actually spending some money on their kids in their lifetime ain't a bad thing. There are a lot (from my generation) who grew up poor and have developed hoarding mentalities as a consequence (aka conduce), and they are going to die, without ever have living a quality life (i.e. fixing up the property around them, buying decent clothes) with sh1tloads in the bank. Sad really. 

Better what you dad does, than this crap I guess?  

[puzzled]

26 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

You know on the other hand, parents actually spending some money on their kids in their lifetime ain't a bad thing. There are a lot (from my generation) who grew up poor and have developed hoarding mentalities as a consequence (aka conduce), and they are going to die, without ever have living a quality life (i.e. fixing up the property around them, buying decent clothes) with sh1tloads in the bank. Sad really. 

Better what you dad does, than this crap I guess?  

its interesting you say that because most my cousins are 38+ and their parents are hoarders, exactly how you described it. e.g my mama who came here in the early 70s married my mami who was born in this country in the 50s  and they both are hoarders! their house is falling apart and it looks like a car boot sale! there is so much clutter in their house that my mami could probably qualify for those bbc tv shows about hoarders. she has this weird collection of dolls probably from the 60s and 70s  she still keeps clothes, furniture and what not which is decades old.  her salwar suits are from like back in the 90s and her cardigans even older! yet they have more money than us stashed in their bank!     my mami once came around our house with ripped shoes and my mum through them in the bin and my mami was chasing after my mum because she still wanted those shoes LMAO she was actually running!      when we were kids my mum actually used to buy clothes and shoes for my mami.   she doesnt throw anything! shes still got curtains from the 80s

my mami was born in the UK Southampton in the 50s and i think the country was still probably recovering from the war  so people probably rationed a lot? idnno   but these habits never go 

iv noticed the same thing in a lot of older relatives. 

but i dont judge it, they belong to a different generation, different times and different upbringing and struggles, thats whats shaped them i guess.