Jump to content

Being parents


Singh1989
 Share

Recommended Posts

Fateh, 

It's that time again where I bang on about how to treat your kids! Why? Me and my sis have been brought up in children / mother toxic relationship. My sis n ma have extreme little communication with one another. When my sis is in trouble she may tell dad but NEVER to Ma. 

If your kids are aged 5-16 you should show them encouragement and support in wha they're doing. If they did something great express it. If they're wrong or feel like failures encourage them, give em hope. YES u can be strict. YES u can be stern. But if u fail to show support to your kids and make them feel worthless you will regret it! 

Our Ma made us feel worthless when we were kids. She never showed ANY sign of appreciation nor encouragement. We could win awards, do seva, score high marks was always "That's not good, where is that gonna get u in life? So then what?" And when speaking of other people's kids "That girl is so intelligent! That son is sooo highly educated! WOW so n so won 3rd place in mopping the floor, U watch! He'll be a manager..." am sure u get the idea. ALL OUR LIVES IT'S BEEN LIKE THIS! Degrading and lectures on our failures. 

Unforgettable moments; 2004 our pet rabbit died one morning. Ma screamed at my sis for not able to contact Rspca and called her a failure (no internet in our home at d time). We were then forced to eat rotia (was lunch time) whilst she stood next to us, shouting. Early 2000, mum purchased A movie through cable n paid once. However, end of movie the movie looped, Ma changed channel n started screaming as we didn't know movie was in a loop... 15 mins of shouting and letting us know our worth, she put it back on the channel but nothing was there. (Movie loops only for about 15 sec before screen saying pay n watch) but she didn't wait. 2016, on 2 occassions she told me to shave my beard as short is nice (basically look good for society than Guru Ji). All other times would be obnoxious behaviour. 

As for dad? He was never there for me and my sis. So no picnic, no going to the park, no family outing. Only time was when sum pindu's wedding came around then we would get up at 5am morning on a Sunday to go attend. 

SO AM WARNING YOU! If u want your son to get left behind or daughter to turn out where she only cares for herself, is living 99% like a hermit, extremely quickly gets agitated, overthinks DO NOT be toxic towards your kids. My sis bared so much brunt of Ma's toxicity. She has 0 interest in relations, 0 interest in life only doing Baania keeps her great. Dad was not there so her food n spending habits are not brilliant. She has extreme akar. She did not even attend my wedding in India as her diet would not allow it! (Kachi sabjia that too home made only) a brainwashed health freak, basically. But it's not her fault... PARENTS DID NOT TRY!

For more info google mum daughter or even toxic parents should anyone need more info. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A lot of apne parents are like this. Mine weren't at this level but they did used to compare me a lot to others. Having fun was considered almost a bad thing. They did used to take us out quite a lot though but were too much on the strict side. Melodrama and emotional blackmail are common.

It's the culture in India that is to blamed. It's a culture in which things are not discussed, whatever the elder says is just accepted as the ultimate truth. There is no introspection and that is why it is a third world place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Punjabi parents emotionally torture you lol   They are the ones at loss at the end because they end up with grown children whose relationship with them is little to nothing.  its tragic really

has anyone read Freuds psychoanalysis, got it off from kindle for free.  I remember a bit from back in school   think he was saying how the toddler years are the most important and that our impressions of our parents at that age determines out relationship with them and other people in our adulthood? 

I'm sue a lot of it is rubbish? but some of it did make sense ... 

Most my cousins have a 0 relationship with their parents 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, puzzled said:

Punjabi parents emotionally torture you lol   They are the ones at loss at the end because they end up with grown children whose relationship with them is little to nothing.  its tragic really

has anyone read Freuds psychoanalysis, got it off from kindle for free.  I remember a bit from back in school   think he was saying how the toddler years are the most important and that our impressions of our parents at that age determines out relationship with them and other people in our adulthood? 

I'm sue a lot of it is rubbish? but some of it did make sense ... 

Most my cousins have a 0 relationship with their parents 

 

Freud's theories are mostly based on sexual repression, he was a strange guy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, ChardikalaUK said:

Freud's theories are mostly based on sexual repression, he was a strange guy.

yh there was some weird stuff like that i remember. Our psychology teacher was a pervy indian man and he loved freud lol! 

perhaps there is some kind of link, for example a lot of females who have daddy issues are end up being quite promiscuous and unstable in relationships.  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
    • Wasn't Guru Arjan Dev's martyrdom on amd always commemorated on 6th June? How come it was 30th May?  Just like 6th June 84, where the likes of Terrorists like Indira Gandhi chose to attack Darbar Sahib where many many innocent Sikhs would suffer, as they went to commemorate Martyrdom of Maharaj. 
    • best thing is to follow the Sikh Rehat Maryada and use common sense for gray areas. Anything outside of that's irrelevant tbh that code is what Guru Gobind Singh Ji and the 5 Pyaare agreed on when creating Amrit in 1699
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use