Question

[Singhni82]

WJKK WJKF...

I jst have a quick question for everyone... I have seen many parents being really strict with their kids about having feelings for someone...I'm talking about our sikh parents.. who are really strict especially toward girls... i have seen many of u guys here who are really into sikhi a lot and want to know ur views that is having feelings for someone wrong? i'm not talking about going out with someone or anything like that.. i'm talking about deeply caring about someone......so plz write back what u guys think about what i said above...

will wait for replies..........

[Sinister]

Cool with Sikhi I beleive....we're all about love here....lol

i dont see why sikhi would be against people going out with each other either... I mean if u like someone....wuts the big deal?

The gurus never delivered a sermon/commandment

Thou Shall not DATE!

Love and Hate go hand in hand with life..I veiw them as perfectly natural things. How else do you get to know someone without dating and speniding time with the significant other?

as for parents.... well parents will always be parents....lol...not much advice on that!

Enjoy your life with freinds and family...

dont break hearts though...lol

cheers!

[Jai Tegang!]

if you want the not-so-desireable-but-probably-right answer...then here it is =>

Although it is "natural" for such feelings to occur, it's not neccessarily right. It's either a dose of kaam(lust) or moh(attachment), or even a mix of both. As a gursikh, you really do have to rise above this sort of thing. Marriage will happen, you don't need to occupy your mind with thoughts of "love" or "desire" in order for it to happen.

I know this will sound very traditional/fundamentalist, whatever the label, but sometimes we need to step back from our accepted norms placed upon us by societies not likely intune with our thinking.

Sister, if however you're at a marriageable, then do speak to your parents or the person in question. Don't let these feelings linger on if you feel it's "love". Get it resolved and keep on the path of Sikhi with Guru as your constant desire and love.

hope this helped.

[Sinister]

WOW

Jai tenang:

"Although it is "natural" for such feelings to occur, it's not neccessarily right. It's either a dose of kaam(lust) or moh(attachment), or even a mix of both. As a gursikh, you really do have to rise above this sort of thing. Marriage will happen, you don't need to occupy your mind with thoughts of "love" or "desire" in order for it to happen."

Love for another is BAD? WOW hate to be your freind! this is not the right answer....the right answer is with you...your ideals not someone elses....SIKHI Never told us to abandon love

To Jai tenang;

If your defintion of love is lust and attachment, then your flat out WRONG, love is more than just lust and attachment.

Im sorry to say but thats an extremely cold hearted conservative sikh veiw on life!

Not all sikhs veiw love to a significant other as a bad thing (attachment to something material....yes bad) but to a significant other (another soul/ personality) thats different and cannot be treated as the same sort of attachment.

You cant live life on your own! you need someone to lean on, you need an attachment to someone, someone needs to feel an attachment to you (solid grounds for a healthy relationship) We are social beings that need to give and receive love. Living a life without love for your significant other is not a life, its hell.

My advice:

sounds kinda cheezy.....but litsen to yourself.....your question is so trivial that I certainly beleive you can truly answer it yourself!

Deeply caring for someone is the essence of what makes us human! what separates us from the animals.

If humans never possesed the traits of attachment how can we possibly attach ourselves to our own guru's?

If no one showed a deep care for our guru's no one would have followed them.

[Jai Tegang!]

like i said, if it's love , get it resolved (i.e. find out if marriage is posible)

btw,nice try wise guy :lol:

[Sinister]

even your theory of attachment to another is flat out wrong!

u missed the very essense of my message their.

we are allowed to be attached to others, the same way the significant other should show attachement to ourselves

choose your words carefully! attachement to someone is not negative...attachment to something might just be.

[ms514]

Sat Sri Akal:

Moh=attachment to someone.

[Balait_da_Sher]

A quick reminder to everyone, that this toipc is for answers/opinions only and not for debate. When a debate starts it ends up deviating from the original topic and the person looking for answers doesnt get any.

[premkranti]

Be natural.If you have feeling for somebody,no need for any permission from parents or any Book or Religion.Why are you so much pigmy!

You guys alway need INSTRUCTION!Dont you have some authentic view or self dignity.lol

My friend,all attachments are going to bring miseries.Any attachment will ultimately bring misery.Love is never uni-directional.You can never say i Love this or That .No.That is not real love but just attachment but i am not condemning it.So please dont misundertand me.But see the things as it is.

In real love ,you will become Just loving and love wil spread in all directions as light of the moon.It will be impossible for you not to love anybody.But that is the real love or to be a bit flexible with you,The final stage of love.So yes,it has to start from lower stages.You can love a man or a woman but dont forget this is just beginng.

Another sugegstion,If you love somebody,Never marry her/him.Marriage destroys everything.Marriage is like closing a rose flower in a plastic.It will die.All love's die with marriage soon after.

Nanak condemned marriages in 'Koor Mian Koor Biwi'.His father forcefully married him.When he was not awakened,he had sons.But once he was awakened,he never visisted his wife.He condemned the custom of marriages.He was for real love between man and woman as like 'Ek Jote Dui Moorti'.There were Gurus even in Sikh history who were living with more than one woman.There was no marriages or single family homes for them and they were living collectively in hundred of people around.But the society at that time was very primitive and woman was very much repressed and marriage was the necessiry for woman's economic welfare.But this was a necessary evil.We have to move further now.

I know these interpretaion you may have never heard of before.But truth is rare and bitter.All awakened ones are misinterpreted by so called kathakars and so called orthodox Gianis who can not look more than their nose.

So my friend,respect your feeling,go out.Date with girls otherwise they have to find boys among non-sikhs.

[kaur_khalistani_lioness]

realllllllllllllyyyyyyy interestinnnnn...marriages destroyez love...hmmmm

what book have u been reading? seems like u never met married people who r in love with eachother

what story book did you here that about Guru Nanak dev ji? well goodluck

ilove weddingss...dont u mess with peoplez heads dude..other wise i wont get tooo see weddinz:(