My Wife Wants To Cut My Sons Hair

[sikh_assasin]

Wjkk Wjkf

I WANT My son to grow uo as a gursikh...but my wife who is more western thinks it is in the best interests for our son for him to have a haircut, for his new school, which has an english majority... I totally oppose her because thats the way i was brought up..(to keep my kesh) i used to get bullied and the fun taken out of me but it made me stronger...

wat should i do? :wub: :e:

[natsilahk]

Explain to her that he can grow up westernized, but still with a joora.

Cutting hair doesnt automatically make someone fit in, and its the personality that does.

And throughout the struggles, you will aide him becuase you have already faced what he will go thru.

Explain that keeping a joora is a great life experience.

AVOID STATING THE FOLLOWING :

1) We must keep kesh because our Guru told us.

2) You are not a proper Sikh if you cut my son's hair.

3) So many people died for us to keep kesh.

Just try to reason with her that he wont be losing much by keeping a joora, but he will be satisfying your goals in life that you see him with a joora later on in life. He can even read the bible with his peers and go to Church occassionaly with his friends if most of them are Christian. He will be able to do everything they did, but with a joora. You have made it through, and you will help him make it through. It means alot to you, so just ask her to not do it.

[GurSa Singh]

Wjkk Wjkf

I WANT My son to grow uo as a gursikh...but my wife who is more western thinks it is in the best interests for our son for him to have a haircut, for his new school, which has an english majority... I totally oppose her because thats the way i was brought up..(to keep my kesh) i used to get bullied and the fun taken out of me but it made me stronger...

wat should i do? :wub:   :e:

161134[/snapback]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Tell her that if she cuts the kesh of your son then to walk out of the Ardas whenever you ask for "kes daan". Might be harsh, but it's hypocrisy to stand in the Ardas when we are begging for gifts from the Akal Purakh like kesh and then destroying the gifts we begged for.

Veerji, it's going to be tough. But I think you need to remain stern about your Sikhi. Bhai Taru's scalp was removed in order for his kesh to remain. Countless people have given kurbani for our kesh.

You need to keep emphasising your desire for your son to have a Gursikh upbringing. Maybe speak to your family or your wife's family.

ncrease your banis in the morining, ask Guru Ji for help in maintaining the respect for kesh.

Fateh!!!!

[Lion(LK)King]

Do ardaas, and speak to your wife about it. Telll her how Sikh means a lot for you, and how you want you child to follow Sikhi as well, and become a pooran Gursikh.

This should be a warning signal to you...

[Heera Singh]

move to Toronto :wub: (or Surrey [Vancouver]) ....

[Akaali]

Who wears the pants in the family? Come on, "BE A MAN"

Teach her about Sikh history, philosophy,culture, gurbani, there's so much references now, tell her how dear it is to you, if its not dear to you then you would allow it and be one of the hundreds of punjabis who don't care and then suffer.

If you dont care about your Guru you will allow it to happen, but if you do, then you can goto great lengths from letting it happen, my two cents.

[mann_kaum_layee_qurbaan]

well if your punjabi, tell your wife she can do whatever she wants to her son white people, english people wll always have some kind of comments, negative and harsh. I went to school with my hair cut and people called me dot-head, camel jockey, hindu, hindian, 7-11 man, etc etc.

my point is you can cut your hair, you can bleach your face, you always gonna be brown and not white. the kids at school are gonna make fun of yor kid no matter what so might as well get made fun of for being a sikh.

peace.

[ms514]

Sat Sri Akal:

Cutting your son's hair will do nothing for getting made fun of. He's still going to be brown and people will make fun of that too. Heck, white people make fun of white kids all the time too. What you have to understand is that getting picked on has very little on how you look, but rather on how you project yourself. Kids are opportunists and, like dogs, can sense someone who does not have full confidence. They make them the object of their ridicule. Dastaar or not, Kesh or not, if your son has been taught to be secure with who he is and can project himself as such, he will have little problem.

The best thing for your son is to be fully immersed in Sikhism so he has confidence in who he is and can carry himself as such in the world. Plenty of monas have tried that "If I cut my hair, I'll become like them" stuff. It does not work. Remember that the first victim of 9/11 violence in Great Britain was a Punjabi Christian who was from a Sikh background. You cannot get more integrated than that and he was still attacked.

[singh_comradz]

Hi there

The best time to infuse values into a kid is when they're young because thats the best time they absorb these values.

So you should not cut your sons hair. You should also teach him about various aspects of Sikh history and ideals and why hair is important. Therefore he will feel more passionate about his faith.

Sangat of his peers is also important so why not send him to youth camps where he can interact with ppl of his own age and perhaps strenghthen his roots.

If he understands the significance of keeping a joora now then at least if he does decide to take a different path later on in life then he will know what he might possibly stand to lose.

As MKLQ mentioned theres always racism and the thing is how much can a person possibly conform. in fact how strong character does a person have if they think that they have to go along with everyone else.

So who cares what others think, thats not important.

And like what someone else on this thread said, it will make him a stronger person who can face up to the challenges in life.

As for your wife, people in this dark age always try and dissuade others from treading on the path of Sikhi, but how I see it - the more the opposition the greater the resolve..

I dont think your wife means wrong intentionally, she just doesn't have the love for Sikhi that you have and which you want your son to have..

Try explaining to her the significance of Sikhi and kesh and how much it means to you. Make your stand and i'm sure she'll compromise

[Guest Narinder Singh]

I dont know if this will help but...

Why not just tell her of the thousands of Sikh kids who go to school with their hair intact?

And as Mann said before, he's probably gonna get a lot of crap from kids because he's simply brown, then what will u do?

Ask her if she wants her child to grow up as a strong and confident individual, if she does, then this is the most practical way. Sikhi definately makes u stronger, and the identity of a Sikh does half of the work!

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh