Dating Engagments & Marriage

[The One]

i read this on another post by dal singh

"If Sikhs can't bring their own kind into marriages we may as well give all non-amritdhari girls away to muslims or something because they are nothing to do with us ......no? "

my question is ... can a non amritdhari marry non amritdharis??

theirs a hukamnama i think by guru gobind singh saying that one should give their daughters hand in marriage to a gursikh??

does this mean that people that may not be amritdhari should get married to amritdharis??

i might be wrong

but in this day and age dating, marraige etc.. is becomnig a regular question amongst youth?

is their anything in sikhi that says you cannot have a partner on the journey of life before you are even married?

[chatanga]

in an ideal world amritdharis would only marry amritdharis. However becasue this is so rare these days, iin order to absolve their responsibility parents are marrying their kids of to anyone. My own amritdhari relatives have married thier daughters of to non-amritdhari boys

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

I would say its more of a matter of common sense than hukum. Simply put, marry someone on the same path as yourself. If you took amrit, usually that means something: that you have agreed and sworn yourself unconditionally to the path prescribed by Guru Gobind Singh.

If your partner hasn't, why? Do they not follow that same path? If they do, then taking amrit shouldn't be a problem. If they don't follow it... that's just a sign of possible disagreements in the future.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Guest Papi]

the problems comes when we assume that an amritdhari is going to make guru sahib the center of their lives.

sadly, this is not the case more often than not.

and khalsa veer summed it up pretty well :TH:

[Bored]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

I would say its more of a matter of common sense than hukum. Simply put, marry someone on the same path as yourself. If you took amrit, usually that means something: that you have agreed and sworn yourself unconditionally to the path prescribed by Guru Gobind Singh.

If your partner hasn't, why? Do they not follow that same path? If they do, then taking amrit shouldn't be a problem. If they don't follow it... that's just a sign of possible disagreements in the future.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

oooh , i like that :e:

[er_gurjot]

ssa

sangat ji.. instead of finding an amritdhari for marriage (which nowdays is rare)..why dont u marry a non amritdhari and take it as a challenge 5to make him/her an amritdhari....

we all critise muslims 4 convertin sikhs to islam.. man its not there ability to spread dere religion.. but our inability to protect our religion...

bhul chukk maaf

[jss]

i think these days we make amrit too light of a concept...

to say that if someone is on the path, then taking amrit shouldn't be a problem...i think that isn't very accurate...

the panj piyaray gave their heads for amrit...there were thousands of people that day...all those thousands of people were on the path, just not at the point where they had full faith in the guru to do whatever he said...the guru still loved them and considered them his sikhs and eventually they took amrit also..

we shouldn't assume that because taking amrit may have been natural for us in our lives that it would be for everyone that wants to become a gursikh...some people have many hurdles as a result of their past karams, their environment, and even battling their minds and battling all that society has put into our heads from birth.

Marriage shouldn't come down to amritdhari or not...there should be mutual respect and understanding of each other's goals...and the spiritual goals should be similar...the partners should be committed to their own spiritual growth and that of helping each other also...if one is an amritdhari and follows rehit, then that's an area they could help the partner...if the other partner has a huge love of doing seva of sangataaan of humanity...that's an area they could help the other partner....never assume that we can't learn or be inspired by a partner who might not have taken amrit yet...

ideally, both would be amritdhari...however we don't live in an ideal world...and simply have two amritdhari partners isn't a guaranteed recipe for a happy and healthy marriage..

in response to the post above mine....we don't have the power to make anyone an amritdhari...that is something that guru ji blesses a person with...only thing we can do is work on ourselves and live in His remembrance together and do ardas for His blessings...

[All-Info]

Amritdhari marry Amritdhari

Non Amritdhari marry Non Amritdhari

Simple, as per rehit maryada.

Theres no need for difference, if someone wants to come into Sikhi, then maharaj will sort it but no excuse for marriage between amritdhari and non amritdhari. Learn the significant difference, you cant share anything with your partner if they are not amritdhari so whats the point, you will have no relationship. The purpose of anand karaj is to join to souls together, if the 2 souls are not yet pure with amrit, your defeating that object straight away. you cant share any food, or ne other relation. Theres been loads of posts when one person in a marraige has commited a kureit and people have asked what happens?

Same thing, sorry, its harsh, but sikhi isnt for light hearted, its for the dedicated who love their guru. Thats not to say that those who are not into sikhi dnt love guru ji before accusations are raised. Love your Guru Enuff to sacrifice your life for him, marry him in the amritsanchaar and become one with death.

Read some rehit maryada or go and speak to the panj pyaara.

[Guest Narinder Singh]

ssa

sangat ji.. instead of finding an amritdhari for marriage (which nowdays is rare)..why dont u marry a non amritdhari and take it as a challenge 5to make him/her an amritdhari....

we all critise muslims 4 convertin sikhs to islam.. man its not there ability to spread dere religion.. but our inability to protect our religion...

bhul chukk maaf

Uhhh...that doesnt sit right with me, make someone Amritdhari? Shouldnt we focus on our own jeevan and set examples if we want change? Help someone simply to help them, not to turn them into what we want them to be, thats selfish.

Amrit is not for everyone, and it given to those who Guru Sahib does kirpa on, dont ever forget that (a lot of Amrtdharis do).

Fateh.

[dalsingh101]

we shouldn't assume that because taking amrit may have been natural for us in our lives that it would be for everyone that wants to become a gursikh...some people have many hurdles as a result of their past karams, their environment, and even battling their minds and battling all that society has put into our heads from birth.

Marriage shouldn't come down to amritdhari or not...there should be mutual respect and understanding of each other's goals...and the spiritual goals should be similar...the partners should be committed to their own spiritual growth and that of helping each other also...if one is an amritdhari and follows rehit, then that's an area they could help the partner...if the other partner has a huge love of doing seva of sangataaan of humanity...that's an area they could help the other partner....never assume that we can't learn or be inspired by a partner who might not have taken amrit yet...

ideally, both would be amritdhari...however we don't live in an ideal world...and simply have two amritdhari partners isn't a guaranteed recipe for a happy and healthy marriage..

in response to the post above mine....we don't have the power to make anyone an amritdhari...that is something that guru ji blesses a person with...only thing we can do is work on ourselves and live in His remembrance together and do ardas for His blessings...

That was so beautifully put and so truthful as well. Ultimately, the way I see it a Sikh is a Sikh. It is true that the Khalsa have a special place in the panth. But we need to be careful because, truth be told, amritdharis of today are nothing like puratan ones. Look at the stuff they had to face. Also look at how fearless and united they generally were in dealing with it.

I think we all, amritdhari and not are not a patch on them.

I remember a sakhi about a Khalsa going to a prostitute and Guru ji standing guard outside the brothel and stopping him going in - the point was that Guru ji didn't discard him and judge him for the act but practically tried to keep him on the straight path.

Guru ji seems to have had a lot of love for the people around him. It was his concept of brotherhood that sustained the Sikhs through the hard times.

People should also remember Divan Kaura Mal, who was a mona government official who supplied the Khalsa with food and information about enemy movements.

How did the Khalsa react to him? Did they discard him as a mona and turn their back on him? NO.

The actually renamed him Mitta (sweet) Mal in gratitude for his help. So they didn't look down on him because he didn't take amrit, why can't amritdharis do this now?