Truth

[sikhsta]

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[Jag_Singh]

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[sikhsta]

Ok, so your now saying just get on with live, 'let the fear drain away'? or something.....I'll give you a situation....

A small child goes into the bath/wash room to go potty.....he/she saw a 3 inch spider, a hairy one....so the child shouts 'MOMMMMYY', and she comes running (leaving the dishes behind) into the bath/wash room. The child explains to the mother, that a spider is there. but in reality the cunning spider quickly crawls away.......the child is still scared....in fear....so the mother waits until the child finishes potty.....the childs happy, cus he/she has done their potty.....but that spider is still their hiding, waiting for another opportunity to strike again.....Of course the child did what he had to do, and the mothers happy cus the childs safe......a week has gone by....the same thing happens again to the child.....same spider......same situation.......mother helps again...yet no spider to be seen again.........

A few years have gone by.......child is now grown up....lives on his own.....at an apartment at uni.....for studying.....now he/she needs to go to the bath/wash room......to do whatever they need to.......(you've guess it) saw a similar spider crawling about......the fear has attacked again......

I have no idea what happens next, but the person (child) is now in chaotic fear of the spider......I know what you guys are going to say, just get a bug spray or something.......but still the child has the fear of spiders.......how on earth can they over come this fear.......

This is just a small example......I will post more if you can handle this one.......

Strength comes with truth. Only a mentally strong person can tell truth and they also can filter thru peoples lies.

Please, give me the solution to get a strong mentality. I've tried many ways, all lead to utter failure........

You need to read through Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Throughout it tells us that God is the creator and the creation, that everthing is controlled by his power includng our world and maya, the great illusion and dream we're stuck in, demons, sinners, holy people, Spiders! lol. Everything we do, every word we utter is preordained. Why should we be afraid of anyone or anything if god our master and friend is always with us and has created and controls that which we are afraid of? And why should we be afraid of a dream, something or someone that is transitory or someone who is fearful themselves, only god is fearless. Gurbani tells us only to fear god and love and worship him and that to fear anyone else is wrong.

Guru Granth Sahib Ji tells us to let go of our anxiety and fear and that these are the things that hold us back from him and cause ego- we do not realise that he wants what is best for us and do not have faith that he will take care of us- we effectively become egocentric and think we are in control of our own destiny and in becoming so embrace the fear that god will not look after us so we must look after ourselves.

These are lessons that despite having been knocked down time and time again I am am still trying to learn. The only thing that can overcome our fear of others is the fear of, love and faith in god, his name and his will and for this to happen ego needs to be eradicated.

http://www.srigranth...ani.gurbani?S=y

ਸਭੁ ਭਉ ਬਿਨਸੈ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਧਿਆਈਐ ॥ सभु भउ बिनसै हरि हरि धिआईऐ ॥

Sabẖ bẖa▫o binsai har har ḏẖi▫ā▫ī▫ai.

All fears are erased, meditating on the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

Bẖai vicẖ sabẖ ākār hai nirbẖa▫o har jī▫o so▫e.

The entire universe is in fear; only the Dear Lord is fearless.

Saṯgur sevi▫ai har man vasai ṯithai bẖa▫o kaḏe na ho▫e.

Serving the True Guru, the Lord comes to dwell in the mind, and then, fear cannot stay there.

Ḏusman ḏukẖ ṯis no neṛ na āvai pohi na sakai ko▫e.

Enemies and pain cannot come close, and no one can touch him

Jogī ka▫o kaisā dar ho▫e.

What fear does the Yogi have?

Rūkẖ birakẖ garihi bāhar so▫e. ||1|| rahā▫o.

The Lord is among the trees and the plants, within the household and outside as well. ||1||Pause||

Nirbẖa▫o jogī niranjan ḏẖi▫āvai.

The Yogis meditate on the Fearless, Immaculate Lord.

An▫ḏin jāgai sacẖ liv lāvai.

Night and day, they remain awake and aware, embracing love for the True Lord.

So jogī merai man bẖāvai. ||2||

Those Yogis are pleasing to my mind. ||2||

Sabẖ bẖa▫o binsai har har ḏẖi▫ā▫ī▫ai.

All fears are erased, meditating on the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.

[AmarjitKaur]

A small child goes into the bath/wash room to go potty.....he/she saw a 3 inch spider, a hairy one....so the child shouts 'MOMMMMYY', and she comes running (leaving the dishes behind) into the bath/wash room. The child explains to the mother, that a spider is there. but in reality the cunning spider quickly crawls away.......the child is still scared....in fear....so the mother waits until the child finishes potty.....the childs happy, cus he/she has done their potty.....but that spider is still their hiding, waiting for another opportunity to strike again.....Of course the child did what he had to do, and the mothers happy cus the childs safe......a week has gone by....the same thing happens again to the child.....same spider......same situation.......mother helps again...yet no spider to be seen again.........<br /><br />A few years have gone by.......child is now grown up....lives on his own.....at an apartment at uni.....for studying.....now he/she needs to go to the bath/wash room......to do whatever they need to.......(you've guess it) saw a similar spider crawling about......the fear has attacked again......<br /><br />I have no idea what happens next, but the person (child) is now in chaotic fear of the spider......I know what you guys are going to say, just get a bug spray or something.......but still the child has the fear of spiders.......how on earth can they over come this fear.....

This is just a small example......I will post more if you can handle this one.......

Please, give me the solution to get a strong mentality. I've tried many ways, all lead to utter failure........

I could picture above as I see that going on with my older son, almost 9yrs old. So afraid of spiders. He cann't sleep when he sees a spider in his room. I will tell him its gone. but he keeps looking around in the room.

But anyways, what I would suggest is that you read a book or watch a movie on spiders. Get to know the enemy real well. Then you will find that there is nothing to be afraid of. As far as I know, not all spiders are dangerous. I don't know much, so cann't say things for sure. But I do know that whatever you are ever afraid of, get to know that real well. I call it doing Ph.D. of things :-)), I often do it. Know it inside out. Education can get rid of the fears, so well, that you may start liking playing with spiders. Go to some museum where they have all kinds of spiders. what they eat, if they are poisnous. I myself don't like looking at ground worms, you know the ones live under dirt and come out when it rains. My kids (almost 9 and 5 yr olds) go for worm hunting. and bring and put it on my arm. I run away from my kids when they do it. I know they won't do anything to me, they are better than mosquitos, don't bite you, but I just get paranoid of worms crawling on my arms. And my kids love it when mommy runs to be away from worms. They do it even more to make me run. and keep telling me mommy they won't do anything to you. I know that, but still you know. So I relate exactly to your situation. I guess I need to use my own advice, get to know the ground worms inside out.

[Jag_Singh]

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[AmarjitKaur]

>I don't think we're on the same frequency yet. I'm talking about hardcore fear....This is a time where we are not yogis, we do not sit in the jungle and meditate.....we are trying to think of Vaheguru everytime.....every action

I have to disagree here with you. Gurbani is not for Yogis only. Its for each and every human. Whether you accept it now or not yet. Thats your thinking. But Gurbani is for all humans regardless of the age, occupation. Actually worse the mental state more gurbani that person needs. Gurbani is that ray of hope that we all look for from time to time.

[Jag_Singh]

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[AmarjitKaur]

>I don't think we're on the same frequency yet. I'm talking about hardcore fear....This is a time where we are not yogis, we do not sit in the jungle and meditate.....we are trying to think of Vaheguru everytime.....every action

I have to disagree here with you. Gurbani is not for Yogis only. Its for each and every human. Whether you accept it now or not yet. Thats your thinking. But Gurbani is for all humans regardless of the age, occupation. Actually worse the mental state more gurbani that person needs. Gurbani is that ray of hope that we all look for from time to time.

You've misunderstood me.

I was simply implying, in this busy lifestyle we do not sit all day at in one room, lock ourself up and remember god. I agree with gurbani being for all humans....regardless.

Exactly what is it that you don't agree on???

Dear Jag Singh jee, the thing I am still disagreeing on is that we can't remember GOD all the time. No, we don't have to lock the room, sit ther and say waheguru. But I am trying to say that we can still think/say waheguru all the time when we are running our daily lives. It is possible to say waheguru while cooking, doing laudary, sitting in train or driving car, walking on the road or while jogging. Tell me when is the time when your mind cann't say waheguru while u are awake.

We don't have to be Yogis to meditate on God. We can be normal grihsatees and be meditating on waheguru. waheguru is inside you. Now when is the time that you are not in touch with you? Its just matter of realising. Waheguru is in each and everyone of us.

I am not sitting down kind of person, but my waheguru is in my mind, when I take care of my daily routines of household life.

[roopraj]

A twist to the topic.

I see where your coming from roopraj, but the level of truth and lying in a person is always there somewhere (though I may be wrong). What I interpret from you is, 'both the truth and liars will end up hurting people' so how can we prevent it?? It's a tough cookie to crack. Like others have previously said, talk as much as you need to, no need to give extra information, etc.

Another thing is you would always find Many honest people do hide the truth, they don't show it off. On the same note Liars also hide the truth to keep them safe. You said:

Results depend more on other people, you are not responsible for that. But if someone is close and you feel responsible for others' problems too then deal with it. You can help other people in their problems instead of walking away.

After I read this, would you mind giving a solution to this following situation? (everyones welcome to give solutions )

So there's another situation where one family member tends to be hating almost every single piece of success you go through, yet you still want to share them the happiness and 'Truth' because you care for them. Yet they take advantage of it, and make you feel bad in such ways, it becomes emotionally difficult to see your own success, make's you feel low. Of course the general way is to move away from them, but what if the circumstances are limited? should we still keep lying to them? knowing the fact it's going to be at your loss......

do let me know if you need more info on the situation if you start to find it confusing.....

I believe there are three stages a person go thru

First- Intentions. What you really want to do.

Second- your action, communicating by lieing or truthfully or by anyother way.

Third - Results longterm and shorterm (expected or unexpected)

I agree with this, although it can go both ways.

Many people try to teach that speaking truth is always right thing and lieing is always bad. But it doesnot make sense to me.

Similar situations I have heard of such as:

People want others to tell them the truth, but the 'wanter' still wants to lie to protect the truth. why? because by not telling the truth, they can understand that person and use manipulative lie's to convince the person that they are true. Which is 100% wrong. It's hard to trust anyone on that note.

I think your overall message is pure though, makes sence.

I forgot to tell you one thing before. I don't want to give you any solution for your problems for many reasons.

My solution won't work for other. Don't try to cling to other peoples' solution. Those solutions will mislead you.

Problem that people are jealous has nothing to do with lying or telling truth. Whatever you will say(truth or lie) your problem will be there. What I can get from this situation is that person said truth and had bad results then he lied and short-term results were not bad.

Actual problem is jealousy, your truth or lie will not eliminate jealousy. Jealousy will be there weather you will see it on front or not.

So do you want to end hate and jealousy or you just don't want to see it?

We only have your side of story. Most of the time there are two or more sides of story depending on number of people involved. People like to play blame game. Person A will blame person B and Person B will blame Person A. If instead of thinking about others' problems a person can think about his/her problem then he/she can find solution. This is general what I did many times. I don't know how true is that for the situation you gave us. There are few things that I do not understand in your situation.

I am not giving you any answer, I am just giving you company to look in these problems deeply.

Some people have fear of spiders and some fear death, crossing roads, bugs, failure. Sometimes one person is scared of crossing road and other is comfortable with that. There is no one thing in world that every person has feared of. Fear is not about things or situations, it is about elusion.

If there is a situation or something in front of person then that person can either face it or can try to escape. If that person will try to escape then that situation/object will become fearing to him. If he will decide to understand and face then he will be more energetic to deal with it.

You didn't run away from something because it feared. It feared because you ran away from it. Everything you have feared of is thing you didn't understand. Once you will take a moment to face and understand situation then there won't be any fear and you will be more energetic.

People have tendency to escape from situations and those situations will become fearing to them until they understand and face it.

[Jag_Singh]

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