Worried About Mate'S Deep Depression

[sherlsurj]

how is she??????concerned

[Guest Concerned!]

Tell Her If She Is Not Reporting For Herself And Her Family! Report For The Others Who He Might Target Later OR Has Targetted Before! REPORT! REPORT! REPORT! And Follow Through! MAKE SURE HE IS IMPRISONED AT THE LEAST! If I Was Dictator! *edit* REPORT!! FOLLOW THROUGH!!

All Should Keep Shastar On Them Like Kataar! If They Get Attacked Like That! KILL THEM!!

REPORT!! REPORT!! REPORT!! FOLLOW THROUGH!! REPORT!! REPORT!! REPORT!!

Tell Her There Are Many Peeople Out There Who Care About Her A LOT!

[Mehtab Singh]

If you are comfortable, and if she is comfortable, you can send her contact details to the admins/mods on this site through personal messenger. Don't post it up on the main here. One of the mature Singhnees on this board (anyone who is willing) can be requested and can talk to this bibi, but only if the bhenji is comfortable talking to the Singhnee. Once that is done, Vaheguru willing she can be convinced to report this dirt bag and save many others. "worried_mate", remember one thing, if you or the bibi protect this piece of scum this time, you both will indirectly be responsible for any other girl he harms in future. I am sure you don't want that kind of karma in your account. So please, have her contact us, and maybe some bhenji on this board can talk to her. If nothing else, at least make her feel better. Trust me it is totally different if she talks to a bibi in whom she can confide.

We are all awaiting updates about her. Do not post her name or any details on here, rather send a private message to the admins/mods if you really want us to help you out. The person has committed a crime, he has damaged her soul, and he should NOT get away with it.

[AmarjitKaur]

iz a family member i tink....she wont tel any1 cos she dnt wana stress or hurt her family....so she dealin with it al on her own...i dnt tink she wud kil herslf, she dusnt want him2defeat her...or2 crush her sikhism....i tink she wnts2move on 4m it al bt she dusnt realise tht if she dus2 quikly widout dealin wid it or aceptin wat happnd den she wil hv a breakdwn...i cn c it in face,da sadness, she cries wen she dus paat,she smiles n thn its lyk she remembrs wt happnd thn stops smilin or laughin...she nds suport n dunt knw hw2 giv 2 her

Bhenji,

Here is what I can suggest you doing it for her.

When you do your nitnem, do one additional Chaupai Sahib one in the morning and one in the eve. just for her. (as we know she cann't concentrate and you being the closest person to her right now, can feel her pain better than person like me can). Ardas kardiyan roz tuhadi friend nu himmat bakhasaN layee pray karo. Just start little competition with her about doing X many chaupai sahibs a day or week. That will motivate her to do more, doesn't matter dhiyan lagda ke nahi, hauli hauli aape hee lag jaaooga.

Don't start the hurting topic with her when you talk to her. She probably don't wanna talk about it with anybody. But instead plan some activities with her and only include her in the plan. It could be very simple things like going for shopping, going to movies (preferably commedy light drama, not violent). Or just call her at your home or go to hers and watch movie with her alone in a room. Let her open up to you, go real slow with her. Listen to her holding hands. Let her cry and don't say anything if she wants to. and mention to her about some class you wanna take (on purpose pick the one which she always wanted to take) and that gives her chance/confidence to find a friend in need in you. BUT in no way, ever break her heart but by discussing with others while others somehow accidently mention to her what they learned from you and that would break her confidence in you.

She is in a trauma stage right now. Let her get a grip on herself and then encourage her to speak against this offender. And be with her and tell her you will stand with her throughout. Then possibly consult some professional help how to handle the situation. if its a relative, it could be beneficial to approach some (respected in the whole family) relative, who could be trusting her and doing something against it.

May She feel the presence of Guru.

"Gur merai sang sda hai naale"

Play this shabad when you are with her

qU kwhy folih pRwxIAw quDu rwKYgw isrjxhwru ]

thoo kaahae ddolehi praaneeaa thudhh raakhaigaa sirajanehaar ||

Why do you waver, O mortal being? The Creator Lord Himself shall protect you.

Guru Arjan Dev Ji

Raag Tilang

724Guru ang sang.

[Guest worried_mate]

jus2giv u upd8 on da situation...iv bn in cntct wid on of her auntys hu knws, n she tld me tht she aint bn goin gurdwara al week n shes just bn lockd in her room doin nuthing, dunt tink shes doin al her part she usd 2 do, wen i asked her she tld me tht she bn doin onli da minmum,tht she dunt wana gt outa bed in da mornings n she depressd...she sez she dunt wana go2doc 2 gt antidepressnts cs she tinks dey gna mke her feel evn worse...duno wat2do

[Guest sad]

This brings tears to my eyes and my heart goes out to your friend- in my eyes this is the worst thing to happen to a female.

I have been around many who have been assaulted by family members, it is revolting how often this is happening in this age.

My friends have reacted the same ways but unless shes the strongest sikh ever, being alone for too long is going to mess her up ALOT and make her cut herself more. People are suicidal over these things (self harm can also lead to suicide) and if your the only one shes told you have the responsibilty to do every single thing in your power to help her.

You need to be her support and mention and/or talk about sikhi all you can with her, don't force it, just reassure her that Guru Nanak is with her always,she just needs to believe he is and to talk to him. Most of us have doubts so you need to be there to cheer her up, joke around as much as you can and find fun things to do to stop her from cutting herself- also make her swear that she will never cut herself again, make her swear to guru nanak- tell her its a sin to harm this precious body we have been given after going through so many lifeforms.

If shes cutting herself- shes still thinking about it, the memory is haunting her and cutting herself makes her feel better and gives her the pain to think about instead. SIkhi tells us to control our minds and give our minds up to guru nanak dev ji- to think about the guru 24/7. she needs to look to the future, dwelling on the past will ruin her. To control her mind and further her sikhi she should do naam jaap to guru nanak with love and faith- guru nanak dev ji will heal her and protect her if she has faith and nothing will ever be able to harm her like this again.

[Guest sad]

Oh and by the way- when she is ready- you need to talk to her about telling a member of her family about this eventually.

YOu need to tell her that rapists typically strike more than once so he can easily do this again to someone else and most probably will.

If she wants to save someone else from the same trauma she's gone through she needs to tell at least one person confidentially or tell everyone so this evil <banned word filter activated> S.O.B can go down.

He deserves torture and then a slow painful death for what hes done- if he gets anything less he will be very very fortunate- although hes gna get all this and more when hes dead.

[Guest worried_mate]

im seriusly worried abt her nw, shes refusing2meet up2tlk abt hw she feels, she cried al nyt lst nyt on da fone2me, sayin tht its so tru tht onli mahraj nos wat she goin thru,onli he cares, she dusnt c tht i care, she berely sleeps, n if she dus its thru da day4 few hrs, she jus wlks round da house nt botharing2 gt dressd, nd wn i saw hr lst week, she ws al smiley, jokin around, pretendin tht shes fyn bt i cn c shes nt cos den da smile fades 4m her face, nd she jus stares in2 empty spce, lyk shes lost, n i knw she is, n i jus wna help her, n i knw if i tel sum1 she wil jus feel even wrse, cs den she wnt trust ne1...she avoids ne conversation abt it n den lst wk she tried 2 brin it up 2 tlk n den she clamed up al of suden...i jus wana give her a hug n tel hr it wil b ok, but den i cn c she dusnt wana be tuched...da onli luk of hapines sw on her fce ws wen she ws babysitin her neice n she evn sed 2 me dat it feels rite to hold a child2u, feel complete, n in dt momen, dats al u need

she wnt tel ne1 cs she dusnt wnt ppl2 feel sori4 her n burden dem wid her "crap" n she alredi feels as thou thts hapenin wid sum ppl she tld(her locoal m8s)...al she sez is dat da whle wurld is in fire n ders worse stuf hapenin

[SunSingh]

i think you need to pop in at her house from time to time. and get her parents in on the situation, it seems like she clearly needs someone who lives with her to give support to her. i know that's not what she wants, but when someone has clinical depression they are not thinking rationally. perhaps they can encourage her to get counselling.

also, discuss suicide with her. Guru ji taught that one who commits suicide must go through the chaurassi lakh joon again before they get another human life. the pain of this chakkar is intense.

another thing is, when someone hits rock bottom, when they start coming up a bit, that is when people most often commit suicide. so even if she starts getting better, you'll still need to continue keeping a close watch on her.

[Sikhvibes.com]

This is a very tough situation. If she did do something to herself, I can imagine you being in some sort of state shock as well, even blaming yourself for not acting. Number one thing that has mentioned above is to report it! It is the best thing to do to avoid another innocent victim being targeted.