Sad & Lonely

[Guest sad]

Hi

After suffering a stroke a few years ago I started doing nitnem which is immensley helpful but I am house bound owing to my disability. I cannot go to the Gurdwara because I am in a wheelchair and also because of my incontinence.

I do get visitors but must of them agitate me rather than help. My wife has stood by me in the sense of staying with me but the intimacy has all gone. My only real contact with the outside world is the computer now. I already know what the replies are going to be to this post but I feel so sad & lonely that I'm hoping there may be a slight chance that someone might take just a couple of minutes to have a chat.

Thank you.

[SunSingh]

all western gurdwaras that i have been to have wheelchair access, with the exception of one that is about 100 years old. i don't mean to talk down in any way with this message, but perhaps you coudl handle going just for the short time it takes for the hukumnama? i feel great happiness whenever i have darshan of maharaj prakashed for the hukumnama.

[Singhstah]

Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh

don't worry ji the sangat is here to help, and above all, as you know, Guru Sahib. Feel free to pm me if you want a chat or anything :D

Please dont feel either of those things, Vaheguru ji wants neither for you.

I would say don't let being in a wheelchair put you off going to the Gurdwara, even going there for one second is worthwhile, the Gurdwara is not anyone's property its Guru Sahib's and hes waiting there for you. There is nothing more empowering in this world than Guru Sahib's pavitar darshan. Matha tek and darshan and just being in that atmosphere filled with naam has many effects which we cannot understand, especially on our sadness.

Also, I'll admit myself I don't do it, but Sukhmani sahib works wonders for sadness, give it a shot, hopefully it might help you...

This shabad is great http://www.sikhee.com/audio/Kirtan/Bhai%20Joginder%20Singh%20Talwara/Man%20Kiyo%20Bairag%20Karega.mp3

(translation)http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1452

listen again and again! :D Gurbani works far deeper than we consciously know it.

Please do lots of ardas, just tell Guru ji you have no power, and you just want naam and gursikhi, sangat and sangat of sants, he'll take care of it all after that.

Remember Vaheguru is sitting inside you right now, call out to him again and again, like a child calling for his father, one day he will reply.

One thing I would definetly say, do ardaas and take a hukamnama, and follow this. You can use www.sikhitothemax.com and click on random shabad if you cant get to an actual saroop of maharaj. Remember a hukamnama is actual direct communication with the Guru, exactly what Guru Nanak dev ji would say to you if he was infront of you in his physical body.

Remember, Vaheguru loves you, Guru Ji loves you and the sangat loves you :D

(i sound really soppy don't i lol)

Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!

[sukhjeevansingh]

veerji what singstah ji said was sooo well put waheeeeeeguuuuuruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

also if you like you could do abhias of this savaya from maharaj guru gobind singh jis bani..

rogan thae ar sogan thae jal jogan thae bahu bhaa(n)th bachaavai ||

saathr anaek chalaavath ghaav thoo than eaek n laagan paavai ||

raakhath hai apano kar dhai kar paap sa(n)booh n bhaettan paavai ||

aar kee baath kehaa keh tho saa(n) s paett hee kae patt beech bachaavai || 6||248||

He safeguards from maladies, grief and aquatic animals in a number of ways.

The enemy may strike many a blow, yet a minor injury cannot be inflicted on the body.

He holds out his hand to protect and hampers the multitude of sins from approaching.

What else need I mention to you about other matters, He even protects (the embryo) in the membrane of the womb (of the mother).(6)(248)

[Guest harminderkaur]

veer ji, I would like to suggest something a bit different. I have battled with depression and being sick at the same time and its not easy. But I have noticed that getting involved doing something really helps. What I would recommend you do is if you like to write, start writing about Gurbani or Sikhism. (try to keep the writings on sikhism positive, so you stay positive too). If you like to paint, read Gurbani and then paint what you feel. You can also paint pictures of the Guru's but I would recommend your feelings after Gurbani because no matter what they well be perfect and you won't feel the need to compare. If you like to read, what you can do is read Sikh Sakhi and then maybe using your computer or recording device read them out loud and record them. Sites like Sikhnet like to use those recordings so little kids can listen to them.

There is a lot you can do while your at home and when you involve Waheguru in what you do, you learn so much that helps you get out of depression.

Also if you do something like what I have mentioned next time you have guests over you won't be so irritated because you'll have more to add to the conversation, maybe even things they didn't know. the visits won't be downers anymore because your disability well no longer be the focus.

As for intimacy issues, once your happy again. It well all fall in place.

You can always pm me and we can chat.

[Wales85]

Hey Man,

First of all don't forget that you matter to people in the world. If you ever need someone to talk to just shoot me a PM.

Also, many paralyzed people achieve more than "normal" people could ever dream of. Ever heard of Stephen Hawking? What about the blind rabbi / Harvard psychologist that ran for congress last year. Your mind is still fine... that means you can achieve just about anything.

-W

[Only five]

Let me start off with saying that there is nothing in this world. This world is the small 8x5 cell das is trapped in. I have the freedom to travel the world go places see different cultures, talk to different type of people, but still there is so smile on my face. None of it brings me joy and makes me feel real small. The world is the prison and Gurbani is the key out of this cell. Gurbani opens the gate and we can start seeing, hearing, tasting, feeling the actually universe the real world. Whether you are bound to one place or cruise the world and talk to all sorts of people, all of it does not matter because the actual universe is yours. By reading and understanding Gurbani this world becomes the dust. The people around you or not around you don't matter because you have the real companion, the true friend, that never leaves your side or leaves you thinking will he leave me. The people are the pillars in your way from reaching this true friend. Let go and accept your position as your true friend planned for you and make Gurbani your minds desire. Talk, laugh, get angriy, sad, happy with this true friend.

[SunSingh]

i wanted to add, that doing ardass for chardi kala regularly helped me feel much stronger and more positive during trying times in my life.

[Guest Guest]

Want to laugh, watch british comedy

Mind Your Language

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3160152744456346475#

Goodness Gracious Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=z6h0lkq-Sno&feature=fvw

[mskcan]

Dear Sir,

Please find out about Rehabilitation for your issues. In particular Physiotherapy will give you a chance for improved mobility, and daily functional activities.

Furthermore, please examine individuals who have the potential to motivate you to do something greater:

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

There is not limits, even with disability or injury. The limitations are in our minds.

Regards