Is Marriage Important?

[chatanga]

I honestly don't know the solution to this problem.

there is a solution, it is called knowledge/education. Somewhere along the way the primal point for the community, the gurdwara, has lost its function as the greatest university in the world. The gurdwara's have become businesses to pander for every whim of sikhs, as long as they pay. this is why we have gone wrong. Gurdwaras need to teach gurmat, and also implore the sangat to uphold the khalsa ideals.

i will give you 1, but very major example

a child is born, the parents do an akhand paath, pay the money and gone. But it is never said from Guru's stage,

"that you parents have been given a gift from Waheguru, and it is your duty to keep this child on gurmat marg, as long as it is in your care. So the first step of the parents is to keep its hair. Do not ever contemplate cutting your child's hair, for it will bring great sin of you both, but not the child..."

the gurdwaras will never say this, cos they want the money more than the child growing up to be a kesadhari sikh.

do you understand this?

Gurdawaras have to get themsleves on track first, and then the rest will improve.

[VanHelsingh]

there is a solution, it is called knowledge/education. Somewhere along the way the primal point for the community, the gurdwara, has lost its function as the greatest university in the world. The gurdwara's have become businesses to pander for every whim of sikhs, as long as they pay. this is why we have gone wrong. Gurdwaras need to teach gurmat, and also implore the sangat to uphold the khalsa ideals.

i will give you 1, but very major example

a child is born, the parents do an akhand paath, pay the money and gone. But it is never said from Guru's stage,

"that you parents have been given a gift from Waheguru, and it is your duty to keep this child on gurmat marg, as long as it is in your care. So the first step of the parents is to keep its hair. Do not ever contemplate cutting your child's hair, for it will bring great sin of you both, but not the child..."

the gurdwaras will never say this, cos they want the money more than the child growing up to be a kesadhari sikh.

do you understand this?

Gurdawaras have to get themsleves on track first, and then the rest will improve.

Yes I do. Hopefully our faith will see brighter times and morally-strong leaders who will uphold such values.

[chatanga]

Yes I do. Hopefully our faith will see brighter times and morally-strong leaders who will uphold such values.

yes, i am getting a strong feeling that you are going to be one such leader, Guru Kirpa.

[Guest I Agree]

Marriage is not important. To the op me and my sister haven't married. We are also old enough and have graduated from uni but all we do is go to work then come home and do naam/bani etc. But like others have said your parents could be an issue for you as they might force marriage upon you. So firstly think deeply about why you don't wan't to get married then talk to your parents to see what their views are. They may agree with you or won't mind as my parents eventually did with guru's grace have accepted our views.

I also know other bhenjia who haven't married and I know others who have. From comparison the people who have married are less happier and seem depressed. I sometimes ask them how they are and they say they have a lot of problems (majority of problems related to married life).

Anyway bhenji may I ask why you don't want to get married?

[VanHelsingh]

yes, i am getting a strong feeling that you are going to be one such leader, Guru Kirpa.

Bhaji, stop humouring me. I'm a pappi. It is people such as yourself who will lead us.

[Only five]

Marriage is not important. To the op me and my sister haven't married. We are also old enough and have graduated from uni but all we do is go to work then come home and do naam/bani etc. But like others have said your parents could be an issue for you as they might force marriage upon you. So firstly think deeply about why you don't wan't to get married then talk to your parents to see what their views are. They may agree with you or won't mind as my parents eventually did with guru's grace have accepted our views.

I also know other bhenjia who haven't married and I know others who have. From comparison the people who have married are less happier and seem depressed. I sometimes ask them how they are and they say they have a lot of problems (majority of problems related to married life).

Anyway bhenji may I ask why you don't want to get married?

The householders life is very important in Sikhi. Many people don't marry because they are scared of a married life. This whole new way of living without getting married amongst people is some what like the lifestyle of the yogis that ran away from the world, scared that maya might get them. You can do as much paat as you want and still Sri Waheguru ji is going to be far away because that self conceit or selfish mind is present. As Sikhs of the Guru we have duites to strengthen the Khalsa Panth and spread Gurmat. Raising a kid into Gurmat is a task that takes alot of time away from the parents. The parents have to devote long hours each day and while going through the whole process the married couple learn just how hard it is to create and then let go. Those that are not willing to get married and then say we still do paat have not got the essence of Sikhi. Sikhi is about devoting your life to Guru Sahib and then to this world. But what do these people do. They don't get married do paat as a ritual and then look forward to having extra time for leisure activities. It's called living life up. These people don't worship Sri Waheguru ji, they worship that leisure time. And then the excuse married couple are not happy. So what does that mean. Have you not read in Gurbani the words even in sin I am happy because im with you (Sri Waheguru ji). These lame excuses go nowhere and Gurmat tells the true story behind these lame excuses. Before people jump on the Sant train and say look at them. Let's look at the Sant lifestyle. There are many Sants out there that don't marry and then there are the many Sants out there that do marry. These Sants don't run away from the householder lifestyle, but they take on a huge responsibility by making the whole world their children. They let go of all the single life desires and completely devote themselves to the world. They don't waste a second on themselves. The paat they do is for Satguru and to make the world a better place. They start Gurmat schools, other institutions, they go town to town, village to village helping out whoever needs help. So they are not selfish at all. There leisure time is helping others.

Do these people not realize if there parents didn't get married they would not exist today. Then who would have given you the chance to do paat? It takes man and woman to bring a soul and flesh into this world. This is also selfish of them for not living to realize this very fact.

[OhTwadi]

Marriage is not important.

Marriage is of utmost importance. Your view is your view, but as per Bhai Gurdaas Jee your view is wrong; see the following vaar. There is no translation on STTM, so FYI the last tuk translates to 'the path of the householder is the highest path amongst all paths'

pMCIAn mY hMs imRg rwjn mY swrdUl

pa(n)shheean mai ha(n)s mrig raajan mai saaradhoola

rwgn mY isrIrwgu pwrs pKwn hY ]

raagan mai sireeraag paaras pakhaan hai ||

igAWnn mY igAwnu Aru iDAwnn mY iDAwn gur

giaaa(n)nan mai giaan ar dhhiaanan mai dhhiaan gura

skl Drm mY igRhsqu pRDwn hY ]376]

sakal dhharam mai grihasath pradhhaan hai ||376||

For those that do not know, I should also add that Dhan Guru Arjan Dev Jee gave the writings of Bhai Gurdaas Jee the title of a 'key' which can open the secrets of Gurbani.

[Guest Gupt]

I'm also in a similar situation to this. Tbh I agree(above poster) has a point. Btw I'm not married and I have also asked many people about how their life was before and after marriage. The replies I get are DON'T GET MARRIED because your life will be full of worries and problems. Now I'm really confused if marriage is the best option for me since I'm around marriagable age??

I've talked to elders about this as well and they say spend your time doing simran, bani and seva for the panth. So if you don't want to get married instead dedicate yourself to help and look after the panth like only five said.

[Guest Gupt]

I'm also in a similar situation to this. Tbh I agree(above poster) has a point. Btw I'm not married and I have also asked many people about how their life was before and after marriage. The replies I get are DON'T GET MARRIED because your life will be full of worries and problems. Now I'm really confused if marriage is the best option for me since I'm around marriagable age??

I've talked to elders about this as well and they say spend your time doing simran, bani and seva for the panth. So if you don't want to get married instead dedicate yourself to help and look after the panth like only five said.

[Sikh_Soldier]

According to mahapurakh marriage is optional, in terms of singhnia most mahapurakh who are female are brahmcharis (not married), maharaj says in bani that both grist and brahmcharj are accepted.

nwnk nwmu visAw ijsu AMqir prvwxu igrsq audwsw jIau ]4]40]47]

naanak naam vasiaa jis anthar paravaan girasath oudhaasaa jeeo |4|40|47|

O Nanak, if the Naam, the Name of the Lord, dwells within the mind, one is approved and accepted, whether he is a house-holder or a renunciate. ||4||40||47||

khu nwnk guru pUrw ByitAw prvwxu igrsq audws ]4]4]5]

kahu naanak gur pooraa bhaettiaa paravaan girasath oudhaas |4|4|5|

Says Nanak, one who meets the Perfect Guru, is celebrated both as a householder as well as a renunciate. ||4||4||5||

Just like many other things in life like education you have a choice, the only marriage of utmost importance is that of your soul and parma aatma (maharaj)

Don't worry about these sort of things until you feel you need to, talk to mahapurakh who will give you insight into this.