Jump to content

Guest namrita
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest namrita

I am a white girl. I am very open, accepting, and curious about the Sikh religion. I have many Sikh friends who I ask questions of. I live in Surrey BC, and are surrounded by them. A little less than a year ago I started dating a very "Canadianized" Sikh man...I'm just going to refer to him as M for now. He flirted with me for many months actually before I finally said ok I'll go out with you...he had kind of won me over. We started dating and I fell in love WAYYYY too fast, but he kept me thinking he was feeling similar things. After a month and a half or so...I will admit to losing my head one night and I got pregnant. The situation surrounding this is all SO very much more complicated but to try and keep this short I will just be as brief as possible. When I told M I thought I was pregnant (I wasn't yet 100% sure)...his first reaction was almost one of awe...like "I'm going to have a baby!" kind of surprise to his voice. Then he started thinking...and walking around and ultimately said, amongst other things, that his parents would be upset/angry..."no offense but it's because you are white". Later on, he told me he did not want to have a child with me (and admittedly this was an oopsie and unplanned by either of us) and that he wanted to pursue a relationship with someone else...who I later learned is Sikh too.

I feel so very very ostracized. Never in the history of my immediate family have I heard of anyone being treated in such a racist way or treating anyone else as such. I feel upset that people that I hear on a daily basis saying Canadians should accept them and embrace their culture, their religion, learn about it etc., would raise children who feel it is acceptable to trash the white girl based on HER skin colour and background...the white girl who IS open and accepting and wants to learn more. It saddens me very deeply. And to so cruel-ly dump her while she was hormonal and pregnant...even worse.

Ultimately...I lost that baby. She or he is gone from this earth. But I felt the child move and I now carry a part of that man in me every where I go. And today would have been my due date...so I am doubly sad because I would have been more than willing to work on a relationship, being a good person in his life, etc., and he threw that away for a question of culture as far as I'm concerned. He has yet to prove to me otherwise in any shape way or form...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am really sorry to know all this sister. I can't even imagine the painful shock of having lost an unborn baby. I hope no one ever has to go through this ordeal and hope Vaheguru jee can bless you with the strength to overcome it. Have you told him about this loss? Please make sure you talk to someone at this time, even if its your other Sikh friends. The sick truth behind all this is that he was with you only to sleep with you, since he never wanted to marry you or have kids with you. I would say you don't deserve him, or rather he didn't deserve to be with you, he wasn't worth it. I am not saying it to make you feel better, but the fact that you didn't bother about being with someone of another culture, and he did, is enough to show who has a bigger heart and is more accepting.

I am sure the one thing you don't want to hear/read right now is that "not all Sikhs are like him", but I also feel you know that already. Another thing is that any kind of pre-marital or extra-marital physical relationship with someone who is not one's wedded spouse is among the 4 cardinal sins and acts of transgression in Sikhism. So Mr. M was a bad example of a Sikh to begin with.

I really hope Vaheguru jee blesses you with strength in this difficult time. Not sure why you posted here or how we could help. But if there is anything you feel we could help out with, please do let us know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel so very very ostracized. Never in the history of my immediate family have I heard of anyone being treated in such a racist way or treating anyone else as such. I feel upset that people that I hear on a daily basis saying Canadians should accept them and embrace their culture, their religion, learn about it etc., would raise children who feel it is acceptable to trash the white girl based on HER skin colour and background...the white girl who IS open and accepting and wants to learn more. It saddens me very deeply. And to so cruel-ly dump her while she was hormonal and pregnant...even worse.

Wow, so you are painting all of us with the same brush because of the actions of one guy?

You are implying that we all raise our sons to get white girls pregnant, and then leave them. Frankly, this is pretty racist.

You said you have a lot of Sikh friends and are surrounded by Sikhs in Surrey, yet you are allowing this one guy to shape your perception of our entire community?

You came here to vent?

Whether the man was Sikh, Chinese, or something else, engaging in unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. You should have had the presence of mind to protect yourself.

What kind of white girl is named Namrita?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Namrita,

I am really sorry for your loss and experience you had to go through with this guy who happen to be sikh. There are bad apples everywhere in the religion, its nothing to do with religion just it comes down to cultural tribal upbringing. In this case, your boyfreind or his family was obviously more influenced by punjabi tribal cultural as opposed to great philosophy of our sikh religion laid by our Guru's.

One of things you will find which is pretty common in all followers of all religion is that - they will bring their cultural baggage in a religion and super impose the baggage on religion in a way that outsider cannot tell the difference if certain thing is cultural or religious until they read the philosophy.

Sikhism itself condemn any kind of racism. One of reason, Sikhism was revealed because to combat racism/caste discrimination based on race/religion/group in Indic soceity where people are divided into four different caste and they get discriminated based on those caste and overall in world. Sikhism bought cultural reform in Indic society where everyone is treated equally. Hence, you will find many saints writing from different backgrounds - muslim/hindu in our holy living guru in form of book..you will also see our shared kitchen in our temple where anyone from any background, from any direction can come- we all sit together, celebrate human race equally and we all eat together on the floor...not just in shared kitchen this applies to our daily prayer where we ask for good for whole human race- nanak naam chardi-kalah tere bhanaie sarbat da bhall ...we also practise equality for all - men and women all alike in our baptism ceremony where all drink nectar from same iron bowl, where all are given same sermon and duties to celebrate and serve humanity...!!!!!

Again, i am very sorry for your loss, what your boyfriend did was terrible. We believe in karma so he will reap what he sow either in this life or next.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am sure there are practicing sikhs here on this forum who are from surrey. May be you need some one from sikh community to talk to help you with healing process..if so, i m sure you can contact them or if they are reading this they can contact you and provide with more information or clear any misconception you may have. Please tell me if i could be any help as well. All though i live in Toronto, i will try my best with healing process or provide further resources.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lori bhenji neh sadaie sa forum vich register kitta dou ka din hoi neh..hun sada dimaag kahoo..!! Vahiguroo bachoa uto...menu lagda extra badam, pistaie, kajo kahanie pengaie..nahi ta mera poora dimaag kha jana uhnaie..lol..haija da shanti aa dekho kiddo atom lado sith dee aa..loll...mega lol :excited: :excited:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • WJKK WJKF Sangat Ji, I bought a brand new medium Artisan Kirpan (8.7 inches) from https://thekhalsaraj.com/products/black-g10-ultra-durable-kirpans 2 months ago, and it is in unused condition. I bought it 2 months ago and it is in unused condition, with everything that came with it still fully sealed. I even paid extra to get it ੴ ਸਤਿ ਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ  laser engraved on the blade. This cost me £370 including shipping from the USA. It is in brand new condition, but I no longer need it since I have been gifted a new Buddha Dal-made Pesh Kabz for free. I am selling it for £250 even though it is in brand new condition - it is a first-hand Kirpan. From the official website, it costs £370. The handle is indestructable G10 fiberglass, wielded to a razor sharp blade (edge and tip) which is engraved with the custom Gurbani. Please reply if any Singh/Kaur here would like to buy it - it's 100% first hand but £120 reduced price. Includes a an embroidered padded case for airport travel, a blank certificate of ownership, maintenance brochure and a beautifully decorated black/grey adjustable Gatra.   I sent this advert out to a few places, and also asked some retailers if they'd like it, so it may go soon. Please do reply if anybody is interested, more than happy to answer questions too! (Note: the pic is from Google but is exactly what the Kirpan and Gatra both look like - the one I have is still in the packaging).    
    • WJKK WJKF Sangat Ji, I bought a brand new Artisan Kirpan (pic below) from https://thekhalsaraj.com/products/black-g10-ultra-durable-kirpans. It is the medium option (8.7 inches). I bought it 2 months ago and it is in unused condition, with everything that came with it still fully sealed. I even paid extra to get it ੴ ਸਤਿ ਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ  laser engraved on the blade. This cost me £370 including shipping from the USA. It is in brand new condition, but I no longer need it since I have been gifted a new Buddha Dal-made Pesh Kabz for free. I am selling it for £250 even though it is in brand new condition - it is a first-hand Kirpan. From the official website, it costs £370. The handle is indestructable G10 fiberglass, wielded to a razor sharp blade (edge and tip) which is engraved with the custom Gurbani. Please reply if any Singh/Kaur here would like to buy it - it's 100% first hand but £120 less than normal. Comes with a padded foam case for airport travel, a blank certificate of ownership, maintenance brochure and a beautifully decorated black/grey adjustable Gatra.   I sent this advert out to a few places, and also asked some retailers if they'd like it, so it may go soon. Please do reply if anybody is interested, more than happy to answer questions too! (below's a pic of the exact model, but not the Kirpan I have, as it's still in its box. I've only unsheathed it once to inspect it, and I can confirm it's in perfect condition).        
    • WJKK WJKF! How long will this forum remain online for in a readable & accessible state? It appears susceptible to shut-down. It would be a shame if all the forum's content from over the decades is lost in such an event due to servers hosting this forum shutting-down. This forum, whilst not currently active, remains an important repository of the Sikh religion online. It also is a fundamental aspect of Sikh cyber culture that existed from the early Internet period from the 2000's to 2010's before the domination by big social-media sites that consolidated the community. Thus, have the web-masters of this forum considered archiving this forum's contents before it is lost forever? I can assist you in this by saving the content to the Internet Archive on your behalf. Please let me know your thoughts about such an endeavour and I hope you may consider the possibility of archiving the forum for posterity. Future generations of Sikhs and Sikh researchers will be grateful. Kind regards, Theth Panjabi (you can find me on IG at theth.panjabi and on X/Twitter at ThethPanjabi)
    • Video on the tale, gurdwara, and manuscript: link As the story goes, during the Vadda Ghallughara genocide against the Sikhs perpetrated by the Afghan Durrani Empire on 5–6 February 1762, not only were Sikh lives lost, but our original Damdami Sahib Bir recension was also lost in that carnage. However, over the years I have spent researching our history, many claimed it was taken back to Afghanistan by Ahmad Shah Abdali's troops as loot whilst others said it was secretly hidden somewhere by the Singhs for safe-keeping. As of today, it remains untraceable and I presume it is gone for good. However, I came across a couple of articles stating that there were actually around five master-copies of the original Damdami Bir, with one of these copies being safeguarded by the jatha of Bhai Sudha Singh of the Shaheedan Misl. "It is said that the tenth Sikh master Guru Gobind Singh had got five birs written at Damdama Sahib. The bani (writings) of the ninth Sikh master Guru Tegh Bahadur were incorporated in these birs. These five birs were given to different jathas (groups) of Sikhs by Guru Gobind Singh to be safely installed. One bir was being taken by Sudha Singh who was leading a jatha of 19 Sikhs, when Abdali'[s] forces stormed Kup-Rohira and killed thousands of Sikhs. Though all 19 Sikhs were massacred by Abdali, Sudha Singh somehow brought the bir to Kuthala. Since then it has been kept at village gurdwara." (Times of India, 2012) The gurdwara today [Gurdwara Shaheed Baba Sudha Singh Ji in Kuthala] has a certain historical manuscript that they claim is one of the five master-copies of the Damdama recension. You can see close-up shots of the bir in the video posted. I will also share close-up images of its folios in the comment section. I will also provide a faithful English translation of the video's narration so non-Punjabi speakers may benefit from this post. I will leave the question on whether this bir is authentic or not to your judgement but I will provide my own analysis below.   English translation of the video's narration: The Guru-form Guru Khalsa Holy Congregation (Sadh Sangat) Ji, Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh. The Gurdwara Sahib that the congregation is currently beholding is situated in Village Kuthala, near Malerkotla, in the Sangrur district of Punjab. A very great treasure is preserved within this Gurdwara Sahib. The history of this Gurdwara Sahib is very closely related to the Vada Ghalughara (The Great Holocaust) that took place in February 1762. Baba Sudha Singh Ji, the third head of the Shaheedi Misl, arrived at this location considering it a safe place. He brought with him that sacred holy scripture (Saroop) which the Tenth Father, Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji, had personally dictated to Bhai Mani Singh Ji on the holy land of Damdama Sahib. Upon arriving, he personally performed the last rites (cremation) of 19 martyred Sikhs at this site. As he prepared to leave to take command of the Jatha (the Sikh contingent), the sacred holy scripture he had brought was enshrined at this very location. At that time, this place was known as Dera Jaga Sidh, but nowadays, a very beautiful building stands here in the name of Gurdwara Sahib Shaheedi. The sacred holy scriptures that were enshrined at that time are today ceremoniously displayed (Prakashwan) with great respect every Channi Dashmi (the tenth day of the bright lunar fortnight) for the congregation to behold. Devotees from within the country and abroad arrive to catch a glimpse of these sacred scriptures and receive the Guru's blessings. Every year, an annual Gurmat Samagam (religious congregation) is held for five consecutive days in memory of the martyrs of the Great Holocaust, concluding on Magh Sudi Dashmi. Furthermore, a book containing the full detailed history—titled after Shaheed Baba Sudha Singh Ji and the Hand-written Holy Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji—was released in February 2013 by the managing volunteers based on historical research. It was released by the 14th head of the Shaheedi Misl, Singh Sahib Baba Makhan Singh Ji (the current head of Baba Bakala Sahib), the Meet Jathedar Singh Ji, and Sant Gurdev Singh Ji of Anandpur Sahib (the current head). The congregation can obtain spiritual benefit by reading it. Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh.   My analysis: In my humble opinion (which may be incorrect), this bir is not a master-copy of the Damdami Bir. It more closely resembles the highly-decorated birs of the Kashmiri-style that were created during the reign of the Sikh Empire in the first half of the 19th century. We can see this bir has highly illuminated and illustrated angs (folios), which took the great skill of a master artisan to make, which required resources to pay and patronize. Usually, the manuscripts during the Sikh Empire were the most elaborately decorated, as this was when the Sikhs were at a high-point, masters of the land, possessing vast amounts of resources that they could use to fund such endeavors. Therefore, whilst the story may be true and a master-copy of the Damdami Bir recension may have once been at this location, I am not convinced that this particular manuscript is it. I may be mistaken and I am open to constructive criticism. 1633648456_GurdwaraHistory.mp4
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use