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Problems with wife


Guest Tea
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Sorry but indian people sometimes have more respect and are more loyal.

You said it, "sometimes" being the operative word here. There are respectful and loyal people here too. don't forget that.

Thanks for the advice veer Ji. Will keep it in mind in the upcoming three years. :respect: :respect: :run: :feelingfree:

Just do ardas and you will get what you deserve.

Most people who get married in India either get married because they can't get married here (UK), or they are seeking a "homely" girl who they think will be a "good wife". this is a big misconception, especially now the way India is.

Then we have stupid threads on this site where people cry about the girls here.

I think the girls here are fine the way they are. you will be in for a shock when you see the girls in India, even boys, they are even worse.

Put it this way, if you get married in India today, you are literally marrying her or his WHOLE FAMILY. start saving up

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Guest Once a Looney

From Personal experience Don't waste your time. I was married to this type of person for 18 years. I just went insane and left the house. Your mind will get so depressed then you wish you could have breathing room. My children have been seperated from me, my parents don't talk to me my brothers don't talk to me so I live alone but I feel much bettter than having being felt like a cabbage or I belong in a loonie bin. In a way I don't live alone. I have my vaja to keep doing keertan every day, Now a days I have a phone where I can read Guru Granth Sahib any corner I wish to sit.

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Guest Jatt USA

when you apply to renew her visa or to switch it from two year spouse visa to indefinite, well don't. Just extend it for another two years.....

This is a battle of ego, however she needs to respect you, your're her husband and you of course need to respect her.

There is alot of culture difference, tell her parents who will talk to her. Her family, etc need to stop interfering in your marriage.

YES !!!!

Play this definitely. You need to keep the upperhand in some way, because some of them have this mentality of that's it they are made now they are in valaith.

They have heard that the valaithi guys are soft and do as they are told.

You need to show who has the upperhand and control by just extended her visa and not giving her permanent stay staight away.

I'm not saying that is how you should be with her permanently by trying to be boss. But sometimes you have to do it in a temporary manner so that she realises that no one is boss and that you both equal.

Idea is to be completely equal in the long term BUT you have to learn the hard way by being more firm for a while.

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This is a difficult one because you cannot generalise. But firstly its good the tiff only lasts a few days - when you make up, do you reflect back between yourselves about how it all started? Who yeilds first when you start talking again - does she initiate it or you? This is worth chatting about and analysing together when you are both back in the friendly mood with one another.

I feel arguments are not unusual in marriage - especially in the early years (or that may just be my personal experience!). Have you involved any elders eg parents when things are bad or just happening too often? That would be better than getting advice from the forum. You are in a stressful job and she is away from everything that is familiar in a foreign land, which itself is a stress. Your marriage is a bridge to overcome these stresses - talk about it. Make sure you have got some time out to yourselves - many of us have busy lives or work and family life can easily be neglected. Do you go for walks together, go out for meals etc.

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its just their way of going around , my advice do not take tension , she just seeks attention from you and be looked after more then she is being now

yes in Punjab we speak loud , everyone here does

its just that she is newly married and she seeks more attention , take her out you know the usual stuff :)

hope it helps you

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I would just say that be a little sensitive towards her. Being alone at home all the day she would definitely feel lonely and bored. If she asks you to get something or do something for her she would desperately wait the whole day for you to return hoping that u would get what she had asked for.

U said 95% of the life is fine but just due to that 5% would it be a good idea to get separated ?

My bf does the same i ask him to do something and he forgets it in the beginning it was like Ok no problem.. But when the same thing keeps happening again n again u tend to get frustrated.. I start feeling like he just dsnt care.. But this is not the truth but just a momentary reaction or feeling.

You must discuss this with ur wife if 95% things are fine that means she will definitely try to understand just tell her that u luv her and care for her but at times due to professional pressure you happen to forget somethings and if she would remind you of those things you will try ur best to get them done..

Just one little suggestion whatever may the situation be make sure there isnt a lack of communication... M sure she will try to understand just be a little sensitive towards her feelings.. M sure with time she will also understand what kind of pressure you might be handling professionally... Good luck

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I think its an interpersonal communication between India and uk lot.

tHere are marriages that work wheneither spouse is from either country, but from what i have seen their is difference of opinions in the slightest things.

My latest episode was with somebody from India. Not all people from India are like this but there are women that try tactics to get their own way. Their communication does not work for me at all. The men will not say anything to them and become their servants rather than have the same attitude towards uk born wives, if they from India themselves.

People can hide this as much as they like, but there is a difference or i would like to say unfairness. They will never admit they are wrong, maybe its a cultural thing in India to act like that.

I get so annoyed when the India girls talk loud n rudely in the stores whereas the uk ones darkeh boldia. I feel that group do not have the communication skills, and level of understanding of sincerity, and when somebody like me tells a few home truths they can not handle it. But there are sincere India girls too. It goes both ways.

I am Sincere :p gal :)

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