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my husband and i keep arguing,i keep directing him towards sikhi and doing whats right bt he thinks i am telling him what to do

how cn i resolve these issues as they keep returning..

every1 thinks i can control his actions etc but he does what he wants..but i feel i get blamed as i am a woman

i believe his decisions and actions will affect me and our kids ..and jst dnt no what to do..and no1 else to turn to.....

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You truly can't control anyone. If there are small things like his habits you don't like or his small small actions, you will have to accept them. No man can like if he is controlled. He accepts you with your good and bad and so should you! People who tell you to control your husband are wrong - don't listen to them. True relations aren't made by controlling and forcing. They are made by love and acceptance.

But if there are more complex things about big decisions, then proper communication is very very important. You address your concerns and he will express his... then you both try to understand each other and each other's perspectives. And respect the differences!

If it is about sikhi values... even then you can't control him. It's all Guru Sahib's play! If you want him to be a better sikhi... best thing you can do is to become a better sikh yourself so he can look up to you and see. Honestly, it truly works! Play Gurbani in your house.. do simran everyday including nitnem. Do ardaas every single day to ask for gursikhi in your house. Do seva! That is all you need to do.

You inspire others with love, you can't control.

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Some words of wisdom from an elderly uncle at Gurdwara.

" If you want your marriage to work then divide the day into three parts or zones.

One part do what you want and let your spouse do what he/she wants.

Second part come together and do things which you both like.

Third part do what your spouse wants you to do. "

This way both husband & wife can live in harmony.

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  • 3 weeks later...

You haven't elaborated on what 'wrong' things he does but I will say this : Sikhi is not something you can force, lecture or scare someone into. It is, quite simply about feeling the love. I guarantee that if he makes a habit of attending the Gurdwara, getting involved in the children's activities in the Gurdwara etc, he will, before long, get an amazing feeling that will make him want to take even greater steps towards Sikhi without you having to say a word.

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