A Benti From A Worthless Person

[Guest Nobody]

I come from an amritdhari family and i was brought up with sikh values and morals however I have made lots of mistakes for various reasons...

I was 'groomed' when I was younger and since then my life has been a downward spiral

I have had many relationships with paki and sikh boys

I have had abortions

I have drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes and taken A class drugs

I have failed in terms of my career too, I have just a minimum wage job

I've come to a point in my life where I am suicidal and can't put my family through my behaviour anymore

I have seen how it affects them...I feel as if I am killing them slowly every time I relapse into this

Firstly I'm asking for someone to please help me.

Secondly I know what I've done is wrong but will guru ji ever forgive me?

Thirdly how do I make sure I don't fall into these things again?

Fourthly I feel disgusted at myself that I have behaved in this manner, as a Sikh I know that I am a grave sinner but does that mean I wont ever be worthy enough become a normal Sikh again?

Fiftly I feel like a dirty person, I know I have committed sins but how do I beg forgiveness from Vaheguru?

[Singh559]

Vaheguru is forever forgiving. To prevent pitfalls in the future you have to make a lifestyle change and try to start going to Gurdwara and finding sangat. A good way to do this is to attend kirtan programs, Sikh camps and general events related to Sikhi or volunteer events.

Please listen to this beautiful kirtan:

Here's a channel about Sikhi:

http://www.youtube.com/user/basicsofsikhi

Start reciting path and nitnem as much as you can and try not to think about the negative habits we have and focus on the positive. Mistakes happen and so long as we get up from those mistakes and don't guilt trip ourselves we can improve. The aim is to Enlighten our minds and tune into Vaheguru and to do this we have to understand why the negatives are bad, not just label them as pure sin. Understand that focusing on living a GurSikh life will grant us mukti from this life and we will get pure anand and bliss.

Guru Sahib has given everything to us.

With this said, I am still on the path and trying my hardest everyday. This is lifetime commitment and you won't become perfect, the only thing you can do everyday is become a Khalsa and earnestly fight against the panj chore (Kaam Krodh Lobh Moh Ahankaar).

Good luck, there is a saying," If you take one step to Guru Sahib, Guru Sahib takes 1000 steps to you." Ultimately after that it's on us to grab hold of Guru Sahib.

[VanHelsingh]

There's always, always a way back. You just have to make up your mind and really want it.

[WaljinderSingh]

I could not resist hitting a like for you Singh559...

[Guest Guest]

You have already taken the BIGGEST step to recovery, Realising what you did was wrong.

Now just focus on doing something positive with your life by being a good Human & Sikh.

Will suggest that you join a Gurmat camp for a change & boost.

Check out

http://www.kaurageous.com/

http://barusahibusa.org/latest-news/the-summer-camp-flyer-baru-sahib

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sikhi-Events/570050406339988

"Even Saints have a past similarly sinners have future"

[Mehtab Singh]

Every saint has a past, every sinner a future.

[Bimringham9Singh]

you have been through all that, you have seen all that and now.. rather than being on hard drugs, homeless or prostitution, you are reflecting on your life, you are contemplating Sikhi and your doing your kirt di kumai.

This shows your true path was to show others the way out too. you are blessed sister, head up, read bani, bring back the warrior princess in yourself.

This is your oppertunity, this is your chance.. you have one go..

bha-ee paraapat maanukh dayhuree-aa
This human body has been given to you.
gobind milan kee ih tayree baree-aa.
This is your chance to meet the Lord of the Universe
avar kaaj tayrai kitai na kaam
Nothing else will work
mil saaDhsangat bhaj kayval naam
Join the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy; vibrate andmeditate on the Jewel of the Naam
saraNjaam laag bhavjal taran kai
Make every effort to cross over this terrifying world-ocean
janam baritha jaat rang maa-i-aa kai
You are squandering this life uselessly in the love of Maya

[TheFancyBanana]

Fiftly I feel like a dirty person, I know I have committed sins but how do I beg forgiveness from Vaheguru?

You're already on your way. Waheguru isn't a cruel dictator. He's love. He loves all of us, whatever we do. We are his children and will always accept us back. Take it slow, look at where it went wrong.

ਤੋਹੀ ਮੋਹੀ ਮੋਹੀ ਤੋਹੀ ਅੰਤਰੁ ਕੈਸਾ ॥

You are me, and I am You-what is the difference between us?

ਕਨਕ ਕਟਿਕ ਜਲ ਤਰੰਗ ਜੈਸਾ ॥੧॥

We are like gold and the bracelet, or water and the waves. ||1||

ਜਉ ਪੈ ਹਮ ਨ ਪਾਪ ਕਰੰਤਾ ਅਹੇ ਅਨੰਤਾ ॥

If I did not commit any sins, O Infinite Lord,

ਪਤਿਤ ਪਾਵਨ ਨਾਮੁ ਕੈਸੇ ਹੁੰਤਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

How would You have acquired the name, 'Redeemer of sinners'? ||1||Pause||