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There are quite a few threads on this forum about the troubles of dating with a turban and beard. Most of these discussions deteriorate into guys taking their frustrations out by bashing Punjabi girls for not wanting to be with keshdari males. I came across a post on reddit that tackles this issue from a slightly different angle. I will post the relevant bit:

"Hey guys and gals,

I'm a Sikh guy, wear a turban and have a fully grown beard. I live in Canada and am 20 years old. I have quite a few friends who are also turban-wearing Sikhs, and the one thing I am accustomed to hearing on an almost daily basis is "girls won't go out with me because I am a keshdari". That is all I ever hear, not only from my own friends, but on every Sikh forum online, there are hoards of Sikh guys who complain about not being able to get a girlfriend because they wear a turban and sport a beard.

This is for any guy on reddit who complains about this issue, and for anyone who knows a guy like that in real life, I say, you need to slap some sense into him by showing him this post.

The turban and the beard are not the reason you can't get girls. It is your lowly perception of yourself. You have no self confidence, you freak out every time you talk to a female because you are worried she doesn't like your turban/beard and you are a social klutz. Most keshdari males in the west spend their time hanging out with other keshdari guys, or other Indian men in general. You have very little experience socializing with members of other races, and especially with members of the opposite sex. That is the problem. You got no game. How do you fix it? Become social, talk to people you normally wouldn't talk to, develop your social skills, and watch your life change for the better.

Secondly, most turban + beard guys I know are not physically attractive. No, it is NOT the beard and turban that are responsible for it. Most of you don't work out, and quite a few (maybe even majority) have really let yourselves go, and have developed huge guts. Get your behind into the gym, lose weight if you're fat, build muscle if you're skinny. If I was a girl, I wouldn't want to date most of you either, because you don't take care of yourselves. Sikhi says to treat your body like your temple, how on earth have you allowed your temple to become so desecrated? Stop eating allu de parathai, samosai, gulab jaman, eat good, wholesome, nutritious food, get in the gym, lift, your testosterone will increase, your confidence will increase, and so will your success with the ladies.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, STOP LIMITING YOURSELF TO PUNJABI GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Pete's sake, most guys I know who complain about this are the ones who ONLY go for Punjabi kudis. The world is your oyster my friend, there's wonderful girls out there who will accept you for who you are and are not Indian-descent. In fact, from my own experiences and what I have heard from friends, non-Punjabi girls actually respect the turban and beard more than Punjabi girls do. If you are proud to be keshdari, then they will respect you for it. When I ask most guys why they are wearing a turban, they'll tell me "because my parents made me". When pressed further about why their parents made them, they say "because it is a part of the religion". But they don't know WHY Sikhs wear turbans. That is the problem. FFS man, learn your own history! It is legendary what our ancestors went through to protect our dharam. It is teeming with stories of epic battles, sacrifice and determination. No other religion has ever had to face even half the crap we did to survive and preserve our beliefs. It was keshdari Sikhs who destroyed Mughal rule in Punjab, 21 keshdari Sikhs who held off an army of 10,000 Afghans for over 7 hours until reinforcements arrived.

Confidence comes from being sure of who you are. Understand why you wear a turban, and the thousands of brave men and women who wore it before you, and you won't give a damn about what any woman thinks. If some immature Punjabi girl has no respect for your turban, that's her loss. A lot of them have forgotten that when Punjabi women were getting kidnapped left, right and center by Persian forces, and being taken to Iran to be sold in the sex-trade industries, it was turbaned Sikh men who went after them, fought enemies umpteenth times larger than themselves, won, and brought the women back safe and sound to their families.

Any girl that rejects you solely for your turban isn't worth the time, even if she's Punjabi. Most of them are going to be fat aunties in 20 years time anyways, then they'll be paying guys to give them the time of day. My girlfriend is white, my brother is married to a Chinese lady, who is absolutely wonderful, and has complete respect for Sikhi and the turban. If you respect your turban, others will too. I've got a handful of friends (all keshdari) dating white girls and Asian (Chinese mostly) girls. I've got family in the USA, a few of my cousins are with Latinas. All are socially confident, all work out, none limited themselves to just Punjabi girls.

That's my rant. I'm tired of keshdari guys complaining about how girls don't give you the time of day, it makes us all look like insecure, needy, weak boys who do not deserve any woman in the first place. Cutting your hair isn't going to make you a success with the ladies if you are out of shape and socially demented. On the other hand, I have known the most athletic, outgoing keshdari brothers get rejected time and time again by girls just because they had the turban. And each time, the girl was Punjabi. Face it dude, there are girls out there who are not attracted to the look, and there's nothing you can do about it. But there are a lot more girls out there than you think who don't give a damn about how big your facial hair is or what you have on your head, and a lot, if not the majority of these girls, are not Punjabi. STOP LIMITING YOURSELF!

I leave you with one last question: If Dwayne The Rock Johnson converted to Sikhi today, grew out his beard and stuck on a turban, would he have any less success with the ladies?

I rest my case."

Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/Sikh/comments/1ggy25/dating_with_turban_and_beard/

Most respondents agreed with what he said, the support was almost unanimous.

My thoughts? I think he hit the nail on the head. I disagree with the bit about Punjabi girls all turning into fat aunties, I think that was uncalled for, but other than that, he makes very valid points (imo).

Keshdaris stick with other keshdaris and/or Indian men, so have little experience interacting with people of other races, and because of Punjabi culture, are discouraged from talking to women.

I've been to quite a few Gurdwaras in my time, the one thing I noticed over and over again was a lack of aesthetics amongst the more religious members of our community, doesn't matter if they were young or old. Now, this isn't always, the case, I workout, most of my friends (keshdari) workout, a lot of guys posting in the comments section of that post said they do as well, and I'm sure a lot of guys on here do too. But what I have noticed is that, while we are supposed to be saint-soldiers, most of us focus too much on the "saint" aspect and not enough on the "soldier" portion.

I also agree with what he said about Punjabi (NOT SIKH) girls, the average Punjabi girl these days doesn't really care much for Sikhi, so dating out of the race is probably a good idea.

Thoughts? Yay or nay?

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I leave you with one last question: If Dwayne The Rock Johnson converted to Sikhi today, grew out his beard and stuck on a turban, would he have any less success with the ladies?

I rest my case."

I reckon he would have less success but he still will get jiggy with it even though he is married.

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Another post criticising Punjabi women. Maybe the problem is if you're looking for someone to date/girlfriend then you'll approach Punjabi girls who have no interest in Sikhi. The Punjabi girls who respect Sikhi are less likely to be interested in dating, sounds like some people on this forum want the best of all worlds. Its no surprise that white girls are the ones you will end up with as they're willing to be long-term girlfriends. If you wish to have white girlfriends that's your choice but please don't say its because Punjabi girls are not interested in Sikh men. I go to the gurdwara and there are plenty of decent Punjabi Sikh girls/women who respect Sikhi . I suspect a lot of this is due to Punjabi men wanting to enjoy the single life with their white girlfriends and justfying it by blaming Punjabi women.

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Oh god its that bloke who loves the EDL again, telling us how he loves white women and how they are the saviours of Sikh men. There is nothing wrong with most Punjabi girls.

I hate to break it to Singhs, but you dont farm all day and fight all night like your ancestors did so dont go expecting girls to act like you think your ancestors were like.

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There seems to be a new trend popping up on this forum where Sikhs are being encouraged to date girls of non Punjabi background. The above poster has put it very nicely. Punjabi men want to be included in the backward culture of the western world of sleeping around before getting married. Not all Punjabi women are angels but there are many more issues among non-Punjabi women than Punjabi women. A Punjabi women that has adopted the non-Punjabi women culture of sleeping around is very well identified in the community. However non-Punjabi women brush majority of their sleeping around under the rug because they do within groups that Punjabis are not part of and hide many issues they have in their immediate environment. Punjabi women have been put to the test in 1984 and they stuck with their religion. So much hardship has been felt. Many things had to be sacrificed by Punjabi parents so their sons and daughters do not have to be rapped, slaughtered and burned alive. I think giving what the Punjabi community had to start off with, they did a very good job of trying to keep it together.

Now tell me what hardship did the white population have to face in the last 30 years. Did they have tires around their necks while gasoline is being poured on to them. Did they have their daughters, mothers, wife rapped in the streets while their little sons and daughters watch hopelessly. So what do they do. They make their daughters into sex symbols. They have made their daughters into sex symbols so much that the school systems accept it. They dress up their daughters in skirts and tight tops and parade them around at sports games and call it cheerleading.

It is the ungrateful people like the OP and like minded people that give Punjabis a bad name.

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Well it's one way of doing dawah and spreading the message

Isnt the Muslims doing the same exact thing by dating Sikh girls and spreading their message?So we should follow the same tactics as them?

If you want to spread the message of Sikhi there are other ways than dating which disrespects guru ji...Why not holding community events every week or something???

To the op:You are doing wrong by looking like a Sikh and not acting like a sikh by dating.

ਹੁਕਮ ਦੇਖਿ ਕਾਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਰਾਖੈ । ਗੋਲਕ ਗੋਪ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਮੁਖ ਭਾਖੈ Those who recognise my commands, but does not follow them and takes money from the Gurus golak for their own false needs,

ਕਾਰ ਭੇਟ ਸੁਖ ਮੰਨਤ ਚੁਰਾਵੈ । ਐਸਾ ਸਿਖ ਗੁਰੂ ਨਹਿ ਭਾਵੈ । ੯ । The offerings have been presented in hopes of happiness. Those who take the the offerings are not Sikhs. (Those who steal from the Gurus golaks are not Sikhs).

You realize the gurus hukam but you still do not obey...You still have to date which against the gurus wishes...

The only reason why you want to date is for sexual reasons...It's only for kaam even if you dont know it...We are never to take another women and have sexual relations with them..

ਬਿਨ ਬਿਵਾਹੀ ਨ ਸੇਜ ਰਮ ਤਿਸ ਸਦ ਧਰਮ ਸਹਾਇ | Without marriage, he does not take a women to bed. To her he shall always be faithful.

We are not supposed to date.....Those are my fathers words and it clearly says if you don't obey him you are not a a Sikh...Please listen to them and stop dating and follow the gurus path.

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Isnt the Muslims doing the same exact thing by dating Sikh girls and spreading their message?So we should follow the same tactics as them?

If you want to spread the message of Sikhi there are other ways than dating which disrespects guru ji...Why not holding community events every week or something???

To the op:You are doing wrong by looking like a Sikh and not acting like a sikh by dating.

ਹੁਕਮ ਦੇਖਿ ਕਾਰ ਨਹੀਂ ਰਾਖੈ । ਗੋਲਕ ਗੋਪ ਮਿਥਿਆ ਮੁਖ ਭਾਖੈ Those who recognise my commands, but does not follow them and takes money from the Gurus golak for their own false needs,

ਕਾਰ ਭੇਟ ਸੁਖ ਮੰਨਤ ਚੁਰਾਵੈ । ਐਸਾ ਸਿਖ ਗੁਰੂ ਨਹਿ ਭਾਵੈ । ੯ । The offerings have been presented in hopes of happiness. Those who take the the offerings are not Sikhs. (Those who steal from the Gurus golaks are not Sikhs).

You realize the gurus hukam but you still do not obey...You still have to date which against the gurus wishes...

The only reason why you want to date is for sexual reasons...It's only for kaam even if you dont know it...We are never to take another women and have sexual relations with them..

ਬਿਨ ਬਿਵਾਹੀ ਨ ਸੇਜ ਰਮ ਤਿਸ ਸਦ ਧਰਮ ਸਹਾਇ | Without marriage, he does not take a women to bed. To her he shall always be faithful.

We are not supposed to date.....Those are my fathers words and it clearly says if you don't obey him you are not a a Sikh...Please listen to them and stop dating and follow the gurus path.

Well I was being abit sarcastic about dating for preaching, there is a time and place for everything. But dating doesn't equal sex, people date with the intention to get to know someone who they want to marry.

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we do not date women like that , its against our rehat. treat all women as our sister/mother and daughter .

if you cannot its simply your fault. stay true to guru dont modify things as per your needs .

mashallah brother you are really keeping the ulma of allah alive.

Bro people don't just marry the first person they see these days, if you do that you could marry someone you can't get along with because of differences like you can't stand your wifey cutting you off

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Guest I m Singh

Another post criticising Punjabi women. Maybe the problem is if you're looking for someone to date/girlfriend then you'll approach Punjabi girls who have no interest in Sikhi. The Punjabi girls who respect Sikhi are less likely to be interested in dating, sounds like some people on this forum want the best of all worlds. Its no surprise that white girls are the ones you will end up with as they're willing to be long-term girlfriends. If you wish to have white girlfriends that's your choice but please don't say its because Punjabi girls are not interested in Sikh men. I go to the gurdwara and there are plenty of decent Punjabi Sikh girls/women who respect Sikhi . I suspect a lot of this is due to Punjabi men wanting to enjoy the single life with their white girlfriends and justfying it by blaming Punjabi women.

The question is why every sikh guy (having beard and turban) is moving to non sikh girls today???? why non sikh girls are finding sikh guys attractive and handsome? Have you ever thought Since 20th century How many Singhs Have been killed by Kaur just because she wants to have some stereotype or a guy who looks like a girl today??

I don't say all sikh girls are in that way but most of them are really we cannot deny it and preferring clean shaven faces. Sikh Matrimonial are the biggest proof of the hypocrisy of such girls...How much they love their own faith they are clearly saying there with this line " clean shaven sikh guy preferred ".

So the guys who are living with sikh identity should cut their hair and lose turban because we all know Sikh girls next preference is cleanshaven face.?

if a sikh girl herself says proudly "Yes I want my singh. I want my dashmesh pita's Singh, I want my Sardar because I m Sardarni" I bet out of 100, 80 will come back to sikhi,

Where our sikh girls dont hesitate to draw their dream boys from bollywood movies and songs do you think They would prefer their better half as sikh turbaned guy??

Sometimes I wonder If no any sikh guy cuts his hair what would they do? moving to non sikh guys for cleanshaven face? it means they would not mind to their own sikhi even it gets disappeared in future.wow.!!

sometimes I think why did our Gurus give you that much respect? so thats what sikh girls giving back to sikhi making useless assumptions like " sikhi is followed by heart,,not by hair" is this? when everybody knows Bana and Bani are two different things So why are girls so being hypcrites?

Go search the google or youtube or books or magazines or society you ll see the negative attitude of of sikh girl towards sikh guys and sikhism. and sikh girls are being attracted to Hindus muslims or white guys. Where the modern world is showing us a sikh girl is being pornstar with a famous name Sunny leone and attracting to entertainment media and glamour then how can she dream of her Singh? how can she think she is a sikh girl?

In last 5 years in uk and usa 1500 sikh girls married to hindus and muslim guys The reason was sikh men have turbans and beards ..when with the name "why sikh girls dont find sikh guys attractive" live shows are coming on BBC uk anchoring sonia deol and a call on phone comes in the show where a muslim guy says he is dating an amritdhari sikh girl from last 3 years.would you still say this is not a big issue?

I know probably that muslim guy was lying but dont you think that at last what a sikh girl is doing in society actually that every other guy is speaking about her? why everybody says sikh girls are easy to groom and make her fall in love...why other guys usually call her bimbo?

I share my personal experience I was in some pub jamming with my friends a muslim and white guy came to me and one of them said to me "Sikh girls are such a cheesy who is ready to lay down with any guy just need to have face without beard and that turban on your head." That guy was beaten badly by me but the words he said will always in my mind and and ask me why did he say like that? The answer of this question is YES ,,Most of the sikh girls are really in that way in the society because same as like other girls they also want to live the world not a sikhi.and when someone tries to give them nice advice, lol They use the most likable line by them that protects their hypocrisy I think they have only found the best line in the whole SGGS. The line is " We cannot judge others".

Yes you will find plenty of decent sikh punjabi girls in the gurdwaras..infact everywhere who respect sikhi..but for a quick survey ask them that how many of them have Sikh boy friend..I m pretty sure you ll get enough girls who will have sikh boy friend but at the same time ask them how many of them have sardar boyfriend and how many of them have cutsurds.. .I hope you will get your answer.

Myself being born and raised in multi racial society of london always been respected by non sikh girls .I have taught my turban to many girls and got hundreds of compliments from them for my outstanding look and if other people give me such a real respect without any hypocrisy my heart would really burst with pride. Sikh guy wants a girl who can accept him who is he ,Can accept his sikhi ,,Can accept his sikh identity . Can accept to raise her kids as sikh.

Yesterday I met a fashion designer named Jasleen Kaur Gupta ..I got this thing that she married to hindu guy. In fact I had nothing against her interfaith marriage but The thing that was notable was If kaur was so dear to her then why was not Singh dear to her? why did she move to other guy? okay if she moved then what hypocrisy she wanted to hide with her name? or what she wanted to tell other sikh girls that she married to Hindu guy so you can do too? everybody Knows her coming generations will not grown up as sikh now..I had opinion not to use Kaur if you married outside.

I have born in non religious sikh family but my mum was hindu so I know how a non sikh girl (being outsider to sikhi ) could realize the importance of sikhi in her life..she gave her best.My all sikh friends are cutsurds but because of my good upbringing by mum I m still sikh guy. I was ten years old when I felt sikh girls are not doing good with sikh guys. ..

No one is blaming a punjabi women..she is herself responsible for such a miserable situation with her own acts. In the modern world she has herself made his royal status level as served by our Gurus to Zero level and you say we are living our single lives with white girls? Then I say they get attracted to our beard and turban and give much respect than any hypocrite sikh girl.. I never seen in my whole life a sikh girl saying "Hey see there what a sexy and hott Sikh guy" I know they use these terms but only for Cutsurd guys..But other girls do it for sikh guys if they aint racist ..

I love sikh girls especially baptized ones even I would love to marry one of them no doubt but only those who are really honest to their sikhi without a single self interest .without any hypocrisy.

Go and study the issue first by being honest to this major issue If you are a nice sikh woman then you should not come to cover the hypocrisy of most of the sikh punjabi girls.

If someone sikh guy is blaming a sikh woman then there are strong reasons for it.. you ll realize them later

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Yes there are Punjabi girls who are not interested in someone if he wear’s a pagh just like there are non-Punjabi girls who are not interested. The OP was referring to dating, if a girl respects Sikhi she is less likely to be interested in dating – its just double standards to critisce Punjabi girls for not being Sikh enough because they don’t date you, whether you have a pagh or not.

You sound genuine and I wouldn’t give up on meeting a decent Punjabi girl, and avoid developing bitter feelings as expressed by some of the posters on this forum. From some of the examples in your post, you seem too eager to paint a negative picture of Punjabi girls – its like saying all Punjabi men are like Monty Panesar after his recent behaviour? Its easy to get influenced by others especially on these forums where there seems to be a hate campaign against Punjabi girls. I don’t need to look at google to see whats going on around me –most of the men wearing paghs at the gurudwara I go to are married, and they generally look smarter than those without a pagh. I agree with the OP that confidence counts, girls/women are attracted to personality and sense of humour not just looks. Perhaps the people who are complaining on these forums are themselves influenced by Bollywood and want the more superficial types of girls who focus more on their appearance rather than Sikhi and are overlooking the more simpler modest girls.

Women in general in our culture are not valued as highly as men and so its easy to blame them when things don't go your way and that explains some of the vicious comments on these sites. If men wish to date and end up with white women that's their choice and shouldn't make feeble excuses blaming Punjabi women who have been bought up not to date whether you wear a pagh or not.

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Thanks to the last poster - could not have said it better myself. About time someone put in an Unbiased perspective up in here

As a girl raised with sikh values in Australia I want to share my 2 cents worth

I was brought up not to date guys, I am 25 now; never ever had a bf. It was probably for the best because I dont think you are fully capable to understand love when you are so young. Most likely its purely physical attraction, a fitting in strategy or a way to beat insecurities. That being said now that I am mature I know about me, I know what values are dear to me and what I look for in a guy to be my life partner.

I was brought up to understand and truly respect sikh turban and therefore I would NEVER even consider dating any guy without a turban and beard. My personal opinion is that the Punjabi/sikh guys that have chosen to cut their hair/ dont tie a turban actually have no balls to go out in public and display their sikhi. They are cowards to me (sorry but thats me). When I see a turbaned full beared guy I think wow! it shows me you commitment to sikhi and fact youve got guts to withstand the general publics looks/judgments.

So yeah us girls we do exist, we are waiting for our mr singh!- but there are some barriers that prevent us which is killing our race these include

I tots agree with OP abour your confidence level, I get asked out by non-Punjabi guys or guys with cut hair but never from turbaned guys. Why? I know you are interested but most of you dont have the confidence to just come and talk without sounding like you having an alternative motive. Just talk to us casually as a friend, make it light, laugh a little and play it cool- you just need to strike up an interesting convo- is that so hard!.

Definitely the fact that most decent sikh girls are not allowed to date or to go out as much as guys is a big factor. Our Punjabi culture as you are aware is more limiting for girls then guys. If someone from our society catches us chatting away with another boy, we are the ones that are shunned, frowned upon and labelled.

Boys talk about us girls dreaming of Bollywood heroes, are you forgetting Punjabi societys pressure on us we have to be fair skinned, tall, thin, big boobs, small waist, big eyes, full lips etc. Did you ever think that because of this, we may be shy, insecure, lack confidence and thus push you away, ignore you or reply defensively?

I mean when girls are of marriageable age they need to jump through all the hoops for you and your family do house work, be educated, earn money, look like a model etc. Most of you want a 21st century modern girl who probably earns the same as you but has to have the traditional values of also coming home to cook and clean for you and your parents. Double standards or what, shouldnt society perspective also change for todays women?

For the guys complaining and bagging Punjabi sikh girls I have a few questions for you I want to do a role reversal; how many of you guys will go after or even consider dating the following girls?

Sikh Girls that do not cut their hair, the ones that do not wax or shave any part of their body?

The sikhni with full facial hair- eyebrow, moustache everything?

or even those who wear a turban/dastar?

It may not be widely documented in the media but just as there is prejudice against turbaned/bearded guys it is the same for these sikhnis

They are being turned down by Punjabi households from marriage or dating; in fact I have seen Punjabi boys that, instead of backing these girls, they are ones making the jokes or remarks about them.

To the bros that think they are doing sikhi a great favour by dating a non- Punjabi and thus educating them about who Sikhs. Your gf may have respect for your sikhi but lets be realistic, lets think long term- what about your kids? How many generations do you think your children or childrens children will last without cutting their own hair do you expect that the child whos mum doesnt know how to tie a dastar and knows little or no gurmukhi (who probably wont convert herself to sikhi) can be able to sustain sikhi in this modern age?

I feel ashamed when you question if sikh girls should have got the respect that guru Ji blessed us with - this remark is so backward why would u even question it.

To my sikh brothers a request for those that are dating please just stop once and ask your self what is your actual motive/ why r u doing this? Guru Ji has asked us not to engage in kaam, be weary make sure u are not digging ur self and the girl into a hole.

Wjkkwjkf

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Oh wow, I wanted to avoid people bashing Punjabi girls in this thread, but that is exactly what has happened :(
I want to clear somethings up though:
1) If it wasn't already clear, that huge chunk of text in the original post was NOT written by me, it is a copy and paste from a thread started on reddit (I attached the link at the bottom).
2) Like the guy who did type it up, I am also dating a white girl/gori. HOWEVER, and this is important, I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH HER! There is a difference between dating (getting to know one another/hanging out/seeing if you guys click) and sleeping with someone, they DO NOT go hand in hand.
3) @Singh123456777, I do not know how old you are, but there are very few girls out there who would have an arranged marriage with a guy these days. Likewise, there are very few guys out there who would have an arranged marriage with a girl these days. I know I wouldn't. I want to get to know her on a personal level before I commit to anything. There is nothing wrong with that. I just want to find out if we are compatible BEFORE we tie the knot, it is much better than finding out afterwards.
Okay, with that out of the way, I want to say that this thread was intended to be about keshdari guys pondering over whether they play a role in driving Punjabi girls away from turban/beard Sikh men.
Let us consider the two points made by the reddit user in the copy/paste:
a) Keshdari men lack confidence. What do I believe? From experience, I'd say it's true. Between growing up hearing about other guys getting rejected for the turban and beard, to the superficiality of western culture that favors clean shaven men and women over those who keep their hair, it is not hard to understand. So by the time these guys are in their mid-late teens, they have been thoroughly conditioned to believe that the vast majority of girls out there will not go for them because of their kesh. Add to that the fact that a lot of these guys tend to hang around other keshdari/Indian men, they aren't really doing themselves any favors. The poster says that keshdari men are by and large NOT used to socializing with members of other races and especially not with women (any women) outside their families.
I find it to be true, Punjabi culture emphasizes "sticking to your own kind", and also separation of the sexes. Socialization between guys and girls is generally frowned upon. So most lads and lassies who are into Sikhi don't have much contact with the opposite sex. Now, some guys may complain about the double standard, about how nobody cares that the girls aren't used to talking with men and wanting to know why only they are being faulted for not being able to talk to girls, but the answer is simple: nature demands that males "take charge". "jump to action", "make the first move". Evolution has programmed us in such a way that men are the ones who are supposed to do the approaching and initiating. Now, to do that, you need confidence, something that the poster suggests turban/beard guys tend to lack. Look at the comment above by "GKaur", specifically the part where she mentions that keshdari men do not approach/tend to give off a vibe of "ulterior motives". There isn't anything wrong with her comment, she is being honest, it is the truth.
Men, start acting like men. Do you have dreams and passions? Have you found something worth dying for? There was a time when every man had a vision of what he wanted the world to be like in his head, and he would go out and put his everything into replicating it in reality. Our Gurus were like that, our shaheeds had that quality too. Sad that most men today are content with sitting around and letting life pass them second by second. Start focusing less on "getting girls" and complaining about how horrible Punjabi girls have become, they're still the same as always, it is we who have changed. My father tells me about how a few decades ago, Punjabi women DEMANDED a proper Singh, back when Singhs were still leaders, visionaries, pioneers, "manly men". The Singhs of today are more content with complaining, whining and eating gulab jaman it seems :( The most charismatic, determined man I have ever known in my life is a 60-something year old keshdari man I met at the Gurdwara. Active, fit, plays sports, funny, nice, respectful, built himself up from nothing, today owns his own business and is living life on his terms. Is at the Gurdwara every day doing whatever seva he can. Men, women, kids, everyone are drawn to him because of his personality, leadership skills and determination. If this guy was at Uni today, he would be able to have whatever girl he wanted. Like I said guys, girls are still the same as they've always been, they are still attracted to the same things they've always been attracted to, we (keshdari guys) just have this defeatist attitude where we think the kesh is stopping us from having what we want.
b) Physically, the user says that keshdari guys tend to be out-of-shape. I don't know about this one lol, I don't think they've done any formal study/survey haha :p I can only speak from personal experience, a hefty chunk of monas hit the gym or are involved in some sort of physically demanding activity (usually a sport). This percentage seems to be lower amongst the keshdaris. I don't know why this is. Factor in the horrible nutritional value of your average Punjabi-diet, and it's a recipe for disaster.
Lettuce be realtea gentlemen, looks matter. I know in Punjabi culture, women are supposed to look past the exterior and fall in love with a guy's kindness and sweet nature etc etc... but let's get our heads of of the sand, it doesn't always play out like that in the real world. I was having a chat about this with my sister a while back, she basically told me that if a guy can't take care of himself, why should she trust him to take care of her? I am not suggesting that we all turn into meat-heads and try to emulate the physique of Mr.Dwayne Johnson, but I have found that there is a certain type of personality women are attracted to. Girls tend to fall for a guy then can depend on (has a backbone), someone who will be successful (has ambition, and I am not talking about money here, I mean knowing what you want and not being scared to go after it) and someone who is decisive (has charge). Having a fit body shows that you have the determination, ambition and charge to put in the time at the gym to get what you want, it shows you don't give up easily/are not lazy. Having a huge gut shows the opposite and is not attractive on a physical or personality level.
Being out of shape also reduces testosterone levels, which sheds off even more of your manliness. Testosterone is what gives you that kick on your rear-end and drives you to pursue what you desire, it is what makes you a man, a neutered (untestosteronized) dog cannot be a sheepdog, it has no drive. Stay fit, eat HEALTHY FOOD, make sure you are getting enough protein in your diet, and keep those T-levels high :p
@GKaur bhenji, you asked:

For the guys complaining and bagging Punjabi sikh girls I have a few questions for you I want to do a role reversal; how many of you guys will go after or even consider dating the following girls?

Sikh Girls that do not cut their hair, the ones that do not wax or shave any part of their body?
The sikhni with full facial hair- eyebrow, moustache everything?
or even those who wear a turban/dastar?

I am putting my hand up! I think women with dastar are absolutely beautiful, and full facial hair, as long as she doesn't mind it/doesn't let it drag her down, I wouldn't have a problem with it either. I am not just looking for someone who will cook for me/clean for me/sleep with me. I want a partner, someone who is commited to living healthy (a gym buddy would be nice lol), someone who I can have fun with, I love to travel, I want a wife I can see the world with. Mountain climbing and skydiving are just two things I have on my bucket-list, I want someone I can do all of that and more with. I would like a wife with whom I can trailblaze, we shall create our own path in life and do things no one has ever done before, attempt things the rest of the world just talked about, because we would be the children of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur Ji, afraid of nothing, and looking forward to every new challenge! And at the end of the day, she should also love Guru Ji and want to pass Sikhi on into the next generation, to start a family with me, raise good kids, and stay with me for the rest of my life. Her kesh, even if there is extra, would just make her that much more beautiful :)
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