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Feeling Lost And Disillusioned About Life

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Vjkk Vjkf

I lost my virginity about 3 weeks ago and i feel as if my life is going downhill. I haven't been able to do Amritvela between 12-6am and my faith towards Sikhi is going away from me i feel. I want to take Amrit soon but my faith in Sikhi feels disconnected.

I really dont know what to do, i need help but i just cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. I get stressed quite a lot due to family problems which affect my daily life, I know i've upset Guruji by losing my virginity but i dont know whats going on inside me, i just feel totally lost :(

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If you feel what you did was wrong ask for forgiveness and get on with life. You can't really do much than that.

I second the above statement by Vanhelsingh as well .

The guru can forgive in ways you wouldn't believe.

This is a wrong that you have acknowledged and feel extreme guilt and remorse over.- This itself is the 1st step because there are many who would not even realize or feel the guilt of a mistake.

What is important is that you realize you have done wrong and you can't turn the clock back.

Next step is to ask and pray to waheguru for forgiveness. You should also ask for strength so that you don't commit this or any other different sin in the future.

ALWAYS ask the Lord for strength is my advice. Strength to help you deal with your past and strength to stay on the righteous path in the future.

The other thing is that you mentioned some family problems that are getting you stressed in daily life.

This situation is also something that waheguru lays out in front of you to see how you deal with it ???

I'm sure you are wondering what the heck I am talking about ??

OK, I will keep it simple---

You feel that others are getting the better of you or putting you under stress in some unfair situations. Or maybe someone is wrongly treating you in some uncomfortable and unfair manner.

In this situation, you may have the opportunities to 'forgive others''.

Forgiving meaning that you forgive them for their wrong doing in a true manner from deep in your heart. It does not mean you have to verbally tell them that you forgive them because they probably don't even know they are hurting you.

Just asking God to forgive others that may have hurt you and also forgiving them yourself is the best thing you can do.

I strongly believe that ''If we don't forgive others, then why should we expect God to forgive us for our misdeeds ??"

If you bear this in mind and start to truly forgive others, then God shall make you feel and realize that you have been forgiven yourself.

Waheguruji looks at how we develop and learn from our mistakes and how we treat others that make mistakes as well. I think he does this much more that just judging you for just your mistakes.

Life is all about learning and the life of a Sikh, is learning....

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Thank you for the advice,

Is there any help anyone can give me regarding my nitnem? I do paath but i dont understand why i do each bani and dont feel anything from it once ive completed my panj bania. Is there anything i can do?

How about try to contemplate on each baniyas instead? I would advise, grab a good english teeka of japji sahib and start reading it and start contemplating on meanings. I recommend japji sahib teeka writen by sant teja singh ji double ma. It would roughly take 50 minutes to do japji sahib with contemplation on meanings and then you can do rest of baniyas in nitneem. Do that for a month and do the same thing for jaap sahib - contemplate on jaap sahib meaning and do rest of baniyas so on so forth.

See-attached english translations of japji sahib by sant teja singh ji mustaneywale. This is most short but yet very deep and profound english commentary of japji sahib i came across..it has helped me significantly.


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What's happened has happened and there's nothing you can do to change that. Your feeling of guilt and depression is because you know that what you have done is wrong. The thing to do is to make sure that it doesn't happen again outside the sanctity of marriage. You've admitted your mistake which is the first step to getting over the mistake. Now just try and get on with your life and know that you have learnt a valuable lesson and hopefully your post may stop others from making the same mistake as you.

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