Marriage Fail - Taking Off Daastarran

[InderjitS]

I am not making any negative statement against kaurs who wear daastar as my own singhni wears daastar. However, i am seeing the trend of people of my age who are going away from daastar after their marriage fails. I have lost the count of daastar bibian who once were forefront in running sikh camps etc and few of them i saw their marriages fail and somehow they start blaming sikhi for everything and quickly shuns the daastar and bombard their with tons of makeups etc.

Personally i never seen a sardar who shuns wearing turban after failed marriage but its different than bibian. I do know youth shuns turban/kesh when they start growing beard but thats different thing.

Anyone notice such thing?

I'd be more concerned if the male took off his dastar and started wearing make up. Joking aside, without the dastar and darra a Sikh is not a Sardar.

My wife wears a dastar also, but the last time I checked, it is not compulsory for bibian to tie one, just that it makes perfect sense from a practical point of view. These bibian are not committing a kurehit in the eyes of the Panth, unless of course we want to start another never ending my Jatha vs Jatha debate.

[jkvlondon]

I'd be more concerned if the male took off his dastar and started wearing make up. Joking aside, without the dastar and darra a Sikh is not a Sardar.

My wife wears a dastar also, but the last time I checked, it is not compulsory for bibian to tie one, just that it makes perfect sense from a practical point of view. These bibian are not committing a kurehit in the eyes of the Panth, unless of course we want to start another never ending my Jatha vs Jatha debate.

That's the thing is was always rehit, remember Guru Gobind SIngh ji tied Mata Bhag Kaur's dastar on her when he gave her amrit di daat . At Akal Takht it was the rehit until the 1920's when there was a 'temporary ' relaxing of the rehit for bibian under Jathedar Gurmukh Singh Musafir. That temporary thing became a permanent change just as the parkash of Dasam Granth ji at Akal Takht was removed temporarily for 'study and research' . The actual rehit is the same for both men and women.

[sikhni777]

When I took amrit and got married, I was totally put down by the behaviour of my mum in law. I often thought whats the use of all this praying when your heart is full of chatraiya and you dont place your full trust in the Guru.

I stopped staying my prayers and was full of fear in case I upset her. She was always upset and she made bad remarks as to my parents, the vichola, my cooking - saying I attended the Guradwara regularly and learned nothing. However then God took her away and we were left alone. She came to live in the UK and we lived a peaceful 4 years without her.

Having my son now - and trying to teach him Japji sahib just made me realise that how much aback I have stepped as I have not recited japji in the last many years regularly. I did do lots of chaupaye, sukhmani and reading shabads otherwise.

I now realise many years later - that we need a lot of strength to stand up and save your marriage and also your nitnem.

Amrit dhari people should take care to behave well and treat others well so as to encourage others to walk on the path of the Lord.

When you are faced with a situation which you cant change or a person like that whom you have to face every single day - only saying waheguru can give you the strength to cope with it. The Lord surely delivers his children. Walking out of the marriage is not a viable solution, as it taken by many.

[jkvlondon]

When I took amrit and got married, I was totally put down by the behaviour of my mum in law. I often thought whats the use of all this praying when your heart is full of chatraiya and you dont place your full trust in the Guru.

I stopped staying my prayers and was full of fear in case I upset her. She was always upset and she made bad remarks as to my parents, the vichola, my cooking - saying I attended the Guradwara regularly and learned nothing. However then God took her away and we were left alone. She came to live in the UK and we lived a peaceful 4 years without her.

Having my son now - and trying to teach him Japji sahib just made me realise that how much aback I have stepped as I have not recited japji in the last many years regularly. I did do lots of chaupaye, sukhmani and reading shabads otherwise.

I now realise many years later - that we need a lot of strength to stand up and save your marriage and also your nitnem.

Amrit dhari people should take care to behave well and treat others well so as to encourage others to walk on the path of the Lord.

When you are faced with a situation which you cant change or a person like that whom you have to face every single day - only saying waheguru can give you the strength to cope with it. The Lord surely delivers his children. Walking out of the marriage is not a viable solution, as it taken by many.

Bhainji

I'm glad that the love of your child has brought you back to your nitnem , for an amritdhari person that is what replenishes your store of strength and dhridtha every day to deal with Kalyug , never let anyone else's lack of sikhi make you drop it . As Guru ji tells us every morning 'karmi apo apni , keh nerda, keh door' which is to show you how those others condition is . But remember yourself and do your duty and complete the mission, 'jinni naam dhiaiya geh mashakat ghal , Nanak te mukh ujale keti chuti naal'

[sikhni777]

Thankyou jkvlondon for your kind words.

[InderjitS]

That's the thing is was always rehit, remember Guru Gobind SIngh ji tied Mata Bhag Kaur's dastar on her when he gave her amrit di daat . At Akal Takht it was the rehit until the 1920's when there was a 'temporary ' relaxing of the rehit for bibian under Jathedar Gurmukh Singh Musafir. That temporary thing became a permanent change just as the parkash of Dasam Granth ji at Akal Takht was removed temporarily for 'study and research' . The actual rehit is the same for both men and women.

PM'd you