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dont want to marry anyone ever

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Guest human

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Ameitdari girl early twenties strictest parents and I never want to trust anyone or be close to anyone ever. I cannot take that risk.parents are too backward and dont understand why I cant be with someone expecially a stanger. Mahraj doesnt say girls have to be with somone or have to marry so why do indian parents think there is no other option. I've decided to stay single and get on with life. I cannot wait around for a prince charming. I don't want to. How can I say this is there gurbani which exaplains this is ok?

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Not2Cool2Argue Grand Master

Not2Cool2Argue

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Im sorry OP to say there is nothing much you can do. BUT some things can help.

I cant find any gurbani tuk, but u can use this nongurbani tuk, but most ppl think its bani, so it might fool ur parents. POOTH HOVAI TA BHAGAT DAANI JA SOOR, NAHI TA NARI BAANJH RAHE, KAHE GAVAVEY NOOR, something like that, I've butchered it but u can google it, its by bhagat soordas.

Secondly, u can convince ur parents to wait until ur done with paraii/ studies, then take forever and keep studying for a very educated job like phd professor,doctotr etc then be like im too old, no ones gonna marry me.

Thirdly, u can trust God. Do ardaas that the husband u get is prince charming or atleast perfect for u, and then get arranged marriage. Some ppl even if they choose themselves, end up in divorce or abusive marriage. Seriously there r statistics n proof for this. 50% of american marriages end in divorce and there was a blog on sikhnet about a sikh girl who chose her husband and then he turned abusive. I mean how much can u find out by dating? The first date is like arranged marriage, u dont know anything about that person anyway. So ya there was a camp counselor and he said he has 3 daughters, and only one of them prayed for a good husband, and he said she has the best husband. He said the other daughters husbands r good, but not as good as the one who prayed.

Sorry i know not much help, but i will say most ppl who say they dont want to get married, change their mind. Everyone wants a home and family at the end and ur parents aint gonna be alive forever, so dont be so hasty to say NO to marriage. Certainly put it off as something not to be done now, but  dont completely write it off. And everythings in hukam, so relax n see where life takes u. 

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sikhni777 Grand Master

sikhni777

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On Thursday, December 08, 2016 at 6:54 PM, Guest human said:

Ameitdari girl early twenties strictest parents and I never want to trust anyone or be close to anyone ever. I cannot take inhat risk.parents are too backward and dont understand why I coant be with someone expecially a stanger. Mahraj doesnt say girls have to be with somone or have to marry so why do indian parents think there is no other option. I've decided to stay single and get on with life. I cannot wait around for a prince charming. I don't want to. How can I say this is there gurbani which exaplains this is ok?

You can stay single for only so long. As you get older you need someone to share your worries, problems and responsibilities with. Some people who are busy with their careers may stay single but they fall I

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sikhni777 Grand Master

sikhni777

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Into temptation and ruin their lives and their amrit too. Your parents know more than you,  and don't want you to fall into this trap. They are only being caring. Good mates are hard to come by and yes you should pray hard to get someone good, because it will either build you or pull you down. 

The age when girls are getting married is getting later and later... from 25 its gone to 30s. Marrying late leaves you with an immense age gap between you and your kids. The ideal age is early twenties. You should be open to meeting  the person they are suggesting to you.  No one is going to force you.  You can always say no after meeting the person and say he is not up to your standards. Or else tell your parents you feel you are not ready. An honest talk might sort things out for you. 

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singhbj singh Grand Master

singhbj singh

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On 9 December 2016 at 0:24 AM, Guest human said:

Ameitdari girl early twenties strictest parents and I never want to trust anyone or be close to anyone ever. I cannot take that risk.parents are too backward and dont understand why I cant be with someone expecially a stanger. Mahraj doesnt say girls have to be with somone or have to marry so why do indian parents think there is no other option. I've decided to stay single and get on with life. I cannot wait around for a prince charming. I don't want to. How can I say this is there gurbani which exaplains this is ok?

Celibacy

Celibacy was a cloak for licentiousness and profligacy and the so-called saints, sidhs, monks, and yogis were corrupting the society. .146 People feared their noised about miraculous powers and did not dare murmur a word against them The Sikh Gurus called enforced celibacy a sham. They depicted the celibates and escapist Sidhs as runaways from social responsibilities and exposed the so-called chaste and celibate Brahmans and Sadhus as follows: “With bowl in hand, wearing his patched coat he goes about begging and desires pollute his mind. Abandoning his own wife, he is engrossed in sexual desire; his thoughts are on the wives of others”. 147


“You smear your outer body with ashes, but deep within, you are filled with darkness. You wear the patched coat and all the right clothes and robes of a mendicant, but you are still egotistical and proud”. 148(SGGS 1243) To the celibate nuns he said, “A woman is like a devoted follower. It is not proper for her to be without a husband”. (1268)

Source - 

http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php/Gurbani_and_women

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Berserk Explorer

Berserk

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On 08/12/2016 at 6:54 PM, Guest human said:

Ameitdari girl early twenties strictest parents and I never want to trust anyone or be close to anyone ever. I cannot take that risk.parents are too backward and dont understand why I cant be with someone expecially a stanger. Mahraj doesnt say girls have to be with somone or have to marry so why do indian parents think there is no other option. I've decided to stay single and get on with life. I cannot wait around for a prince charming. I don't want to. How can I say this is there gurbani which exaplains this is ok?

The only marriage important for a Sikh is the union with Vaheguru. When you are looking to marry someone in this world, you should be finding someone that would be a good friend, not Prince charming. You should know only Vaheguru is perfect. 

There have been many Gursikhs that have not married. In Sikhi, I believe it's fine. Don't listen to others when they misquote Gurbani. We are all soul brides that need to unite with Vaheguru. No other marriage is as important as that. 

If you choose to do this on your own then you need to be sure you are fully devoted to Guru Sahib and Vaheguru. You cannot be attached to people as you will be living alone for the rest of your life. Any friends you may have will be involved with their own family. And you should be detached from Kaam. You need to be careful about your decision because if you end up deciding later you want to marry, it might be difficult for you to find someone. 

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BSingh87 Explorer

BSingh87

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You know your self and what you want. Whenever I wanted something I knew it, I have never gone onto a forum asking others to tell me what to do with my life. Secondly, you do not need to quote Gurbani. Gurbani only tells us about uniting with Vaheguru. When Gurbani refers to living in society all it is talking about is earning a honest living e.g. having a job. Marriage is just an addition. 

Ignore those who misquote gurbani (1268) like Singhbj. We are all Vaheguru's soul brides. There is only one marriage that is important and that is the one with Vaheguru. Every other marriage only exists to assist in doubling Naam Bhagti but the truth is if you truly love Vaheguru you will be able to find vaheguru easily and quickly without the need to double your bhagti. Also, ignore those who are telling you that you will become weak to temptation. It may be their own flaw and weakness but not everyone is the same. Most of these people look for marriage for the wrong reasons. 

Like Berserk said, if you do want to get married you need to look for a friend. Otherwise a greater friend can be found in Vaheguru if you decide not to get married.

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