Abandoned WIves - another cosh to beat sikhs with?

[Ranjeet01]

On 02/03/2017 at 5:27 PM, jkvlondon said:

happened with Mum , she just told them to be happy where they wanted so my two brothers are on opposite sides of London to each other and then at least an hour's drive away . Whereas my sis and her hubby live down the street and I live about fifteen minutes away ...

A classic example of how women rule the rule the roost in our families.

All women are closer to their parent's and will try to live closer to them.

However, the sons are ruled by their wives and therefore have to be less close their own parents to ensure that their marriages are successful.

I see this pattern emerging time and time again.

Women in general do not like their husband's being close to their own families but will complain about their brothers not being close with their parents.

The irony does not occur to them that their bhabiyah act with their pekheh in the same manner that they act with their saureh. 

[dallysingh101]

7 hours ago, AjeetSinghPunjabi said:

Your hate is showing 

Nothing to do with hate. I just feel given the widespread emasculation of Sikh males, the last thing we need is another bloke acting girly. 

[dallysingh101]

9 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

including Mata Bhag Kaur ji 

AM I missing something? I didn't see Mata Bhag Kaur in that list?

[Ranjeet01]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

Nothing to do with hate. I just feel given the widespread emasculation of Sikh males, the last thing we need is another bloke acting girly. 

Any criticism/questioning of the feminisation that is taking place is always conflated with hatred.

 

[MisterrSingh]

5 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

However, the sons are ruled by their wives and therefore have to be less close their own parents to ensure that their marriages are successful.

(Edit: need to rephrase what I wrote. My English is shocking today)

[Ranjeet01]

4 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

AM I missing something? I didn't see Mata Bhag Kaur in that list?

She was not on that list.

[Ranjeet01]

 

A wife’s best defense against a troublesome mother-in-law.

 

Not all mother-in-laws are troublesome, but when they are troublesome they are a great source of frustration for wives.   Most wives who face this problem try to solve it by putting pressure on their husband to intervene. Wives can bring a great deal of pressure to bear on their husbands in the form of denial of sex and threatened divorce, but in this case their go-to solution is shockingly ineffective.

Ironically the reason wives find themselves powerless against their mother-in-laws is their having taken on the power position in the marriage.  Once they did this they created a de facto matriarchy.  As the more senior member of the clan the mother-in-law outranks the wife.  Putting pressure on the husband doesn’t work in this situation because the husband isn’t acting as the leader and protector of his household;  he is trying to placate two women who are effectively in positions of authority over him.  The mother-in-law will sense this even if she couldn’t articulate it.  When her son requests that she change her behavior the mother-in-law sees him for what he is;  he is a messenger from the wife, whom the mother-in-law outranks.

The solution is simple;  the wife needs to relinquish the position of head of household and cede that position to her husband.  This means she needs to abandon her tools of manipulation over her husband, not ratchet them up.  This will take some time and effort, and there are simple steps a wife can take to encourage her husband to start taking on the role of leader and protector.

The solution isn’t foolproof, but it is extremely effective.  Nearly all men are highly protective of those they lead, and if they see themselves as head of the household they will start to naturally see themselves as their wife’s protector.  The mother-in-law will also sense the change, and since the husband is now acting under his own natural authority she will take him seriously in a way she never did with the wife or when she saw him as the wife’s ambassador.

My wife has given this advice to married women in her circle, and while most were aghast at the idea of allowing their husband to lead the ones who followed the advice were amazed at the results.  In many cases the mother-in-law not only ultimately settled down, but became downright pleasant to the daughter-in-law.  In one case the formerly at odds mother-in-law and daughter-in-law now actually enjoy each other’s company so much they regularly go shopping and to lunch together.

Patriarchy or matriarchy:  take your pick.

[Ranjeet01]

2 minutes ago, Ranjeet01 said:

 

A wife’s best defense against a troublesome mother-in-law.

 

Not all mother-in-laws are troublesome, but when they are troublesome they are a great source of frustration for wives.   Most wives who face this problem try to solve it by putting pressure on their husband to intervene. Wives can bring a great deal of pressure to bear on their husbands in the form of denial of sex and threatened divorce, but in this case their go-to solution is shockingly ineffective.

Ironically the reason wives find themselves powerless against their mother-in-laws is their having taken on the power position in the marriage.  Once they did this they created a de facto matriarchy.  As the more senior member of the clan the mother-in-law outranks the wife.  Putting pressure on the husband doesn’t work in this situation because the husband isn’t acting as the leader and protector of his household;  he is trying to placate two women who are effectively in positions of authority over him.  The mother-in-law will sense this even if she couldn’t articulate it.  When her son requests that she change her behavior the mother-in-law sees him for what he is;  he is a messenger from the wife, whom the mother-in-law outranks.

The solution is simple;  the wife needs to relinquish the position of head of household and cede that position to her husband.  This means she needs to abandon her tools of manipulation over her husband, not ratchet them up.  This will take some time and effort, and there are simple steps a wife can take to encourage her husband to start taking on the role of leader and protector.

The solution isn’t foolproof, but it is extremely effective.  Nearly all men are highly protective of those they lead, and if they see themselves as head of the household they will start to naturally see themselves as their wife’s protector.  The mother-in-law will also sense the change, and since the husband is now acting under his own natural authority she will take him seriously in a way she never did with the wife or when she saw him as the wife’s ambassador.

My wife has given this advice to married women in her circle, and while most were aghast at the idea of allowing their husband to lead the ones who followed the advice were amazed at the results.  In many cases the mother-in-law not only ultimately settled down, but became downright pleasant to the daughter-in-law.  In one case the formerly at odds mother-in-law and daughter-in-law now actually enjoy each other’s company so much they regularly go shopping and to lunch together.

Patriarchy or matriarchy:  take your pick.

This is from a Christian website but interesting insight.

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

Didn't want to sound rude and anti-man. I am a man myself. Sorry if I sounded rude 

[dallysingh101]

6 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

Any criticism/questioning of the feminisation that is taking place is always conflated with hatred.

 

I ain't hating. But I want morally upright, tough brothers (and sisters) to stand next to. Even more so in these times. Anything else doesn't cut it.

I've met bi apnay who could (and would) break heads off. So it isn't like being gay excludes you from stepping up when the time comes.