Jump to content
Guest Singh

Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.

Recommended Posts

Guest Singh

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

If you have taken amrit then I would definitely recommend getting married to a amritdhari Sikh girl too. I do agree though most girls do follow western traditions than Sikhi and it really does make it seem like Kaljug! Find any amritdhari girls your age and get your parents to approach her parents and they can talk to each other/bond or whatever and as long as the 2 families gel its all good and then you can talk to her and ask her questions etc. I do understand it isn't easy but just keep trying, you'll get there one day.  ^_^ 

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/20/2017 at 10:19 PM, Guest Singh said:

Hi,

This has probably been discussed before but it's something I can't really wrap my head around. I'm a singh with full beard and have cousins who are the same, we are finding it difficult to find Sikh girls as life partners. The ones I've been introduced to have a problem with me not cutting my beard and being vegetarian etc... few have asked me if I would cut my beard etc... this coming from supposedly Sikh girls and it's quite disgraceful. 

I've had more interest from girls who are not Sikh...i.e Gujarati, English girls etc.. who don't seem to care about me being a full singh, it's raising questions in my head about the future of Sikhi as a whole, our Sikh girls are moving away from our faith/traditions and adopting western values and ways above all. One of my cousins got fed up and cut his beard in the hopes to be more 'accepted', but I feel this is the wrong choice to make. I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind but I don't want to move away from Sikhi just to find a wife, but it seems like our Sikh girls are. 

 

Suppose this is more of a rant than a question as such. 

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Brother Guest Singh Jee,

as I usually say, stick faithfully strong to sikhee. wahiguru is much much more important than anything anywhere.

Just keep in mind, before one is born, destiny is already tailored  to the milimetere.

And if it is written in one´s destiny to meet someone or have a spouse, believe it, it will sure happen, though that person maybe 7 seas far away, because one has karmic accoount to settle with that person, so is the same, which applies to any of our other relations.

So, relax and cool down, do not get perturbered by these thoughts.

If you eever have to worry for anything at all, just keep a check on yourself, of how much do you engage in His bhakti at His Lotus Feet.

Give yourself up wholeheartedly to Him, and He will look out for your needs as a true Mata/Pita.

Stay blessed.

Sat Sree Akal.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Singh
5 hours ago, kds1980 said:

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

This is such a sad turn for Sikhi for us as sikhs being so materialistic when our gurus taught us not to and everything about Sikhi is about letting that go. This is what I don't like about so called gursikhs when they can't grasp fundamentals of Sikhi....even more so the ones that totally disregard Sikhi and it's teachings. 

But whatever happens, happens for a reason I suppose, understanding that is the difficult part, just wished there were more understanding people out there....I fear for when our kids when they will have to look for a partner considering what it's like now....though no one knows what the future may hold. 

Just got to keep head up and continue forward then. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

This is such a sad turn for Sikhi for us as sikhs being so materialistic when our gurus taught us not to and everything about Sikhi is about letting that go. This is what I don't like about so called gursikhs when they can't grasp fundamentals of Sikhi....even more so the ones that totally disregard Sikhi and it's teachings. 

But whatever happens, happens for a reason I suppose, understanding that is the difficult part, just wished there were more understanding people out there....I fear for when our kids when they will have to look for a partner considering what it's like now....though no one knows what the future may hold. 

Just got to keep head up and continue forward then. 

Nowadays most Sikhs are ashamed of staying nirala (unique) when this is what Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj wanted us to do. We can really tell its Kaljug.

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Singh
On 23/11/2017 at 8:39 AM, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

Nowadays most Sikhs are ashamed of staying nirala (unique) when this is what Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj wanted us to do. We can really tell its Kaljug.

VJKK VJKF

This is so true, I just see generic people living generic lives. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

2 hours ago, Guest Singh said:

This is so true, I just see generic people living generic lives. 

Western traditions are getting in the way of potentially amritdhari Sikhs, the way media and bad Sangat brainwashes us into thinking about what really matters in life is working. People nowadays care more about what others think of them and to them as far as religion is concerned, as long as they go to the gurdwara once a month they think that they are a Sikh. We should be able to recognise a Sikh not only by appearance but by actions too. We should try our level-best to educate kids nowadays in order to help them in future. At least if ur parents didn't particularly help us we should help kids nowadays.

VJKK VJKF 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest singh

You know you don't have to marry a Sikh. Marry a Gujju or White girl then, it really doesn't matter but obviously bring your children up as Sikhs. I really don't understand why Sikh guys limit themselves to Punjabi women! 

Its not just Singhs who are having trouble finding partners, many moneh are too! Many punjabi ladies who work with my mother are always complaining how their sons (moneh) are having problems finding decent punjabi females. These days many of them drink, club and walk around wearing nothing but a table cloth. I know a few apneh who are happily married to classy, cultured Gujarati women.

Do not limit yourself and NEVER get rid of your sikhi to please a woman! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2
14 hours ago, Guest singh said:

Do not limit yourself and NEVER get rid of your sikhi to please a woman! 

:clap:        The best message ever. These are the values that we should pass down to kids!          :clap: 

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With a lot of Punjabi women being fickle with the latest trends and fashions, I thought that with the uptake of hipster beards and man buns that they would be fickle enough to be attracted to the kesh. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest London jwaan
On 22/11/2017 at 6:02 PM, kds1980 said:

 I used to believe this until I started managing my brother's matrimony profile  a year ago who received lots of interest from girls  who are looking for non trimmer , vegetarian and religious. My brother being less religious created more problem for him in finding life partner.

The main factors that people see in India for marriage is how much a guy earn , how much property his family own and what the status of his family.If by any chance .If by any chance your these factors are on weak side then even super gursikh families won't consider you as rishta

Agreed. Go to any gurdwara and have a look at the matrimonial list.

Firstly, people are categorised according to caste. Totally anti sikh practice in the first place. It appears that the most important criteria is in this order :

1) caste

2) height 

3) age

4) job/earnings

5) education 

Etc

And if you speak to girl's families you will no doubt have shocking conversions. Fat girls looking for lean body builders, a girl with no or minimal education looking for a doctor, lawyer or investment banker. Parents of a 5 feet tall girl looking for a guy over 6 feet......

I myself have had ridiculous conversations, with one girls dad asking my salary, another asking how much my flat was worth, one asked what car I have another querying my degrees when his daughter didn't even go to university. One even called my place of work to check I work there as he clearly thought I was lying - and then told me. Another asked where our house was in India. One asked for proof I was jatt. Proof?!?! I told him I was sikh. He said the days anyone is sikh and first and foremost he would only talk to jatts.

I don't really care about any of these things but it shows you what drives a family. And I have said it before, the single most destructive thing in our kaum, is the hijacking of sikh ethos and distortion by jattism behvkoofi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Guest London jwaan said:

Agreed. Go to any gurdwara and have a look at the matrimonial list.

Firstly, people are categorised according to caste. Totally anti sikh practice in the first place. It appears that the most important criteria is in this order :

1) caste

2) height 

3) age

4) job/earnings

5) education 

Etc

And if you speak to girl's families you will no doubt have shocking conversions. Fat girls looking for lean body builders, a girl with no or minimal education looking for a doctor, lawyer or investment banker. Parents of a 5 feet tall girl looking for a guy over 6 feet......

I myself have had ridiculous conversations, with one girls dad asking my salary, another asking how much my flat was worth, one asked what car I have another querying my degrees when his daughter didn't even go to university. One even called my place of work to check I work there as he clearly thought I was lying - and then told me. Another asked where our house was in India. One asked for proof I was jatt. Proof?!?! I told him I was sikh. He said the days anyone is sikh and first and foremost he would only talk to jatts.

I don't really care about any of these things but it shows you what drives a family. And I have said it before, the single most destructive thing in our kaum, is the hijacking of sikh ethos and distortion by jattism behvkoofi

What you find is that men and women look for different things in a partner.

Reality is that biology trumps everything.

Women will look for a tall man athletic man because they want to a man with strong genes to pass on to her children. This is biologically hard-wired into women over thousands of years. In hunter-gatherer societies when you could be attacked by another tribe or by wild animals, you want a big strong man to protect you.

They will also ask for a man who is far more educated and earns more money because a woman historically would want a man that was higher in social status who can provision for her and her children. Historically, women did not have professions and were financially dependent on their husbands so therefore it would make sense for them to pick the highest social status man that they can.

Men tend to look for a younger woman (they tend not to look for social status) because of fertility.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Kaur 2

VJKK VJKF

8 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

With a lot of Punjabi women being fickle with the latest trends and fashions, I thought that with the uptake of hipster beards and man buns that they would be fickle enough to be attracted to the kesh. 

IKR?                                :rofl

VJKK VJKF

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest London jwaan
15 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

What you find is that men and women look for different things in a partner.

Reality is that biology trumps everything.

Women will look for a tall man athletic man because they want to a man with strong genes to pass on to her children. This is biologically hard-wired into women over thousands of years. In hunter-gatherer societies when you could be attacked by another tribe or by wild animals, you want a big strong man to protect you.

They will also ask for a man who is far more educated and earns more money because a woman historically would want a man that was higher in social status who can provision for her and her children. Historically, women did not have professions and were financially dependent on their husbands so therefore it would make sense for them to pick the highest social status man that they can.

Men tend to look for a younger woman (they tend not to look for social status) because of fertility.

 

 

This missed the point completely  I'm afraid  ranjeet. What is the meaning of "Sikhs" putting aside ask their fake piousness and becoming obsessed with caste. And also trying to marry off roly poly daughters to adonises?

And whilst 4"11 girls parents might want a guy of 6'4", biologically hardwired or not, why would the guy want a midget.

And the obsession with money is against everything in sikhi. Demanding a guy already has a house, does not live with his parents, and must be a doctor, banker, lawyer etc is severe nonsense. What is the girl bringing to the table? Where is her house? What is the cut off salary huh? How much is enough?

All paath goes out of the window when is matrimonial time. Like I said I was asked for proof of being jatt. My answer was that most of my relatives are uneducated and unpadh so that should be sufficient proof.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...



  • Topics

  • Posts

    • What you see in kaleh is what happens when for decades there is no father figure in the home. Decades of fatherless children brought up by their grandmothers ( you will notice they are always brought up by their grandmothers,  their mothers are nowhere to be seen).    
    • The African American or even Afro-Caribbean have almost been bred to be physically stronger due several hundred years of slavery.  If you think about it, only the strongest and most resilient survived those slave ships across the Atlantic.  The hard physical work on those plantations have meant that they have passed down those genes through the generations.  The African origin black people in the Americans are also no longer pure black African.  There is plenty of European slave master blood in them after the slave women were taken and raped by their slave masters. This is the reason why they come in all shades of colour. You can tell the difference between black people of Africa and those from the Caribbean particularly in the UK. The diet that developed amongst the black communities of the Americas is based on the quality of food from the slave days. It was also foods not desired by the whites or food that was cheap like Chicken.  Ironically, like us folk from South Asia, the Afro Caribbeans and African Americans also suffer from high rates of diabetes and high blood pressure.
    • The overlooked or sometimes conveniently ignored aspect of their physiology is their diet, i.e. chicken and meat in general. I'm not being funny or stereotyping, but black people LOVE their chicken. Obviously, inhaling chicken all day and sitting on your behind playing video games is going to cause obesity in everyone, black or not, but certain foods coupled with an active lifestyle and perhaps a genetic predisposition to building and retaining muscle better than other races, also plays a factor. Testosterone (in natural) animal products is key. As a lifelong vegetarian I'm content and secure enough in my beliefs to acknowledge this truth. 
    • Bumping this up. Am thinking myself of moving from the UK to somewhere in North America as there is more land/open spaces, and some places a lot better weather (I dislike winters in UK).  And, weather can have a big impact on mood unless you are a complete Chardhi kala person. 
    • The youngsters themselves find themselves between a rock and a hard place. When they're growing up and perhaps vaguely aware of their fruity inclinations, it's a case of, "Why are you not in saroop?" from the religiously minded in their community. They then adopt the appearance partially through pressure and perhaps in the hope it somehow eliminates their leanings through some form of divine benevolence. When that doesn't happen and those proclivities increase with age, they find themselves exposed to incessant propaganda originating from their western host communities or the global propaganda machine which encourages them to embrace and accept their feelings, and at the same time people like us lambast them with stuff such as, "Why are you in saroop?!?" It's a no-win situation for them. Of course, I'm not seeking to excuse the degeneracy and the subversion taking place, but I just wish some of these people stepped outside of their own shoes for once, and realised how they're being used as pawns to further agendas that ultimately don't care for the individual. Humans have a desire to belong, and if they've spent most of their lives feeling alienated and misunderstood, they're obviously going to leap at the first group who extends a hand of understanding and tolerance. Most people are incapable or just aren't ready to accept or process anything beyond the material. That's life.
×

Important Information

Terms of Use