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Singh's finding it hard to find life partners.


Guest Singh
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Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh
On 2/21/2019 at 9:27 AM, TinnkerBell said:

And within 2 weeks going to get married ?

In last 6 months, I talked to almost 400 plus girls( including their parents), met about 9 girls in person ( with parents ofcourse). She is the 10 th ?.

 

Bit excessive innit ??

What percentage did you say 'no' to and how many said 'no' to you ?

 

My kids are only little but if, when they grow up. they decide to go though this traditional method I will give them this one sound advice when it comes to these introductions to girls at people's houses:

  • When the girl walks in to the room does she plod or does she glide ? The one that glides is the one.
  • At your one to one chat with her and you ask her what she thinks look out for the one says she's happy but is happy with what her elders say. She's the one.
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I think there's two factors at play. Ultimately, if you're aesthetically pleasing, you're not going to struggle to attract a mate. There's good looking Singhs who have no problem with attracting rishte, while there's ugly moneh who are ignored in the same situation. You don't hear them crying and complaining about Sikh women hating moneh. If you're limiting your search to dodgy newspaper / magazine matrimonial services, then I'm sorry but you're only going to attract a certain type of family who prioritises caste, income, and clean-shaven attributes. It's like going to a church and then complaining that nobody is singing Kirtan, lol. What do you expect?

Secondly, there IS an issue of Singhs being in a second tier of appeal (broadly speaking), but from my observations this trend rears its head when the Singhs are aiming for the type of girl that is undisputably out of their league or they're pushing for a girl who any honourable and decent young man should not "wife-up." That's an unpopular and uncomfortable truth. Too much ego from some Singhs who want the "goods" even though those so-called goods are arguably the worse thing that could ever happen to them. 

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17 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

I think there's two factors at play. Ultimately, if you're aesthetically pleasing, you're not going to struggle to attract a mate. There's good looking Singhs who have no problem with attracting rishte, while there's ugly moneh who are ignored in the same situation. You don't hear them crying and complaining about Sikh women hating moneh. If you're limiting your search to dodgy newspaper / magazine matrimonial services, then I'm sorry but you're only going to attract a certain type of family who prioritises caste, income, and clean-shaven attributes. It's like going to a church and then complaining that nobody is singing Kirtan, lol. What do you expect?

Secondly, there IS an issue of Singhs being in a second tier of appeal (broadly speaking), but from my observations this trend rears its head when the Singhs are aiming for the type of girl that is undisputably out of their league or they're pushing for a girl who any honourable and decent young man should not "wife-up." That's an unpopular and uncomfortable truth. Too much ego from some Singhs who want the "goods" even though those so-called goods are arguably the worse thing that could ever happen to them. 

I agree if your good looking you will attract a mate regardless of singh or mona! If your not then you will struggle, there are moneh that struggle so their parents have to take them to India to get married. There are unnatractive Punjabi females who are now in their 30s because no one wants to marry them! Note how a lot of the Punjabi women married to white men are normally not that pretty or dark skinned or in their 30s!  Women get it hard too

I really don't understand this impression that some people create that there are 1000s of singhs queing up struggling to get married. 

It's like every singh is dying unmarried 

I really p1sses me off when some singhs pull out the victim card for everything!  It's like they view everything in a negative way 

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1 hour ago, puzzled said:

I agree if your good looking you will attract a mate regardless of singh or mona! If your not then you will struggle, there are moneh that struggle so their parents have to take them to India to get married. There are unnatractive Punjabi females who are now in their 30s because no one wants to marry them! Note how a lot of the Punjabi women married to white men are normally not that pretty or dark skinned or in their 30s!  Women get it hard too

I really don't understand this impression that some people create that there are 1000s of singhs queing up struggling to get married. 

It's like every singh is dying unmarried 

I really p1sses me off when some singhs pull out the victim card for everything!  It's like they view everything in a negative way 

I think it's guys my age (in their 30s) who are encountering these issues, probably for reasons of being raised in a fairly strict and buttoned-down family where even innocuous interaction with the opposite sex -- or even general "world" awareness -- was considered to be lucha-punna, which I kind of understand in a way, but it really does stunt a male's emotional development if he isn't allowed to experience the rough and tumble of life however one may choose to interpret it.

I was raised in pretty much that sort of environment, but for various reasons that safety net was pulled from beneath me, and I hard to learn the rules of the world quite fast. But still, I stuck to that stoic, Sikhi-inspired sense of respectability WHILE observing and noting everything that was happening around me. Most simply don't get that "opportunity", and therefore you end up with a situation where our sianah have ended up raising psychologically stunted boys stuck in men's bodies, and when the time for marriage arrives their expectations, knowledge, and desires are totally out of whack to the actual grounded reality of life. It's this host of deep rooted issues that eventually, if the guy gets married, leads to the phenomena where the girl runs rings around him literally from day one (and he simply hasn't the tools, or the knowledge to discern that he needs some tools, lol) and you end up with the wife wearing the pent in the relationship while the guy stumbles around in a stupor for the rest of his life.

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On 3/6/2019 at 11:44 PM, Guest Amritdhari said:

 

Solutions:

1. We need to stop hating on Gursikhs marrying non-Amritdhari or non-Punjabi women!

2. We should stop assuming that the Khalsa Panth will die out because of non-Amritdhari spouses or non-Punjabi's!

(If someone is so weak that a spouse weakens their commitment to Sikhi then they clearly had weak commitment to begin with)

Especially when Muslim men and groomers who marry non-Muslim women all retain 100% loyalty to Islam in 99% of cases!

 

Bang on point I reckon. 

Like people have mentioned. It's not like every darn mona has a queue of chicks following them about. Certain Singhs crying about this constantly makes them look even more beta male and unattractive to females. 

I also reckon Panjabi moms (and dads) are guilty in causing this situation for reasons MisterrSingh pointed out. Making every last thing about attraction between genders taboo for their kids growing up causes absolute havoc in terms of people having a healthy, realistic perspective of relationships. This fires both ways - not only do boys get stunted in development in this area - I dare say that it plays a part in making certain young females clueless enough to make them easy to groom too. 

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But its not that different for some people in their 20s when I was in school I wasn't allowed to talk to girls lol   so when ever I used to walk home with a girl she would walk like 2 meters in front of me and we would talk like that haha! Or just not use the main roads but walk home through the back roads lol  many people in their 20s were not allowed to have that contact with girls.

But I'm pretty sure we had it easier than people in their 30s  things sound a lot more stricter back then 

Don't know what things are like for the currents teens but I doubt much has changed lol 

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Guest GuestSingh
On 3/8/2019 at 1:56 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Secondly, there IS an issue of Singhs being in a second tier of appeal (broadly speaking), but from my observations this trend rears its head when the Singhs are aiming for the type of girl that is undisputably out of their league or they're pushing for a girl who any honourable and decent young man should not "wife-up." That's an unpopular and uncomfortable truth. Too much ego from some Singhs who want the "goods" even though those so-called goods are arguably the worse thing that could ever happen to them. 

what makes these girls 'out of their league'? is it just the external 'beauty' after the make-ups been painted on? or the 'better' career? money?

these girls spend more time searching and analyzing the perfect male personality that suits their wants and needs than they do working on their own and thats why their personalities happen to be crap - empty, shallow and very unsophisticated....

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23 minutes ago, GuestSingh said:

what makes these girls 'out of their league'? is it just the external 'beauty' after the make-ups been painted on? or the 'better' career? money?

these girls spend more time searching and analyzing the perfect male personality that suits their wants and needs than they do working on their own and thats why their personalities happen to be crap - empty, shallow and very unsophisticated....

Absolutely, I agree. Objectively, if a person is being deadly honest, there is a hierarchy of looks. Yes, we can argue about how society has arrived at this hierarchy, and which factors have informed rankings, etc. But then if it's that's obvious, why are these girls still pursued? So, it is the physical beauty of these women that overrides all other things in the mind of the guys we're referring to. Aren't Sikhs supposed to be at least inching towards the idea of seeing beyond the physical that the rest of the world is lost in?

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Guest GuestSingh
3 minutes ago, MisterrSingh said:

Absolutely, I agree. Objectively, if a person is being deadly honest, there is a hierarchy of looks. Yes, we can argue about how society has arrived at this hierarchy, and which factors have informed rankings, etc. But then if it's that's obvious, why are these girls still pursued? So, it is the physical beauty of these women that overrides all other things in the mind of the guys we're referring to. Aren't Sikhs supposed to be at least inching towards the idea of seeing beyond the physical that the rest of the world is lost in?

big eyes, wide smile and maybe thick lips tends to be the 'winning formula' for most? but at the same time these girls know if theyre lacking in something then any face-paint will help to accentuate other features and quickly change most minds - minds that were already weak cuz those first opinions/interest soon changed without even thinking about personal ideals or certain traits...

whenever the eyes automatically divert to something i.e. a potential partner, without even thinking, the questions that race in my mind is 'whats she really like', 'whats she done or does now', 'is she true/worthy or just false/bad' etc. - after u quickly recollect the 'true stories', u can get some sorta answer just by the face and eyes, especially the eyes if theyre 'doey' - its like the more they widen/dilate, the more guilty or even promiscuous they seem? maybe not always the case but u can see the obvious with ones who think theyre 'hot stuff' - automatic turn-off and any thoughts/interest soon disappear....

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On 3/9/2019 at 1:17 AM, puzzled said:

But its not that different for some people in their 20s when I was in school I wasn't allowed to talk to girls lol   so when ever I used to walk home with a girl she would walk like 2 meters in front of me and we would talk like that haha! Or just not use the main roads but walk home through the back roads lol  many people in their 20s were not allowed to have that contact with girls.

But I'm pretty sure we had it easier than people in their 30s  things sound a lot more stricter back then 

Don't know what things are like for the currents teens but I doubt much has changed lol 

??

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