I am back and engaged ..

[Singh559]

>Me thinking I'll get on SikhSangat and read a great thread

>Maybe I'll find a PJS level quality post

>See this thread

>Leaves

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 5/15/2018 at 10:37 PM, MisterrSingh said:

Once she gets a  kid or two to occupy her hours, she'll be too busy and tired to bother you. 

When I came out to my parents , and I have several times, this was the same response they said to me after a while . 

Apparently , not marrying is not a choice for me, as I don't have any siblings or good extended family , so I won't have any support structures after my parents gone . So they want me to marry and my mom was like "Byaah de baad thoda baut pyaar kar li, ikk ada bacha kar lai , byaah de baad tah dhimi waise hi bacheya di sambhal ch busy hundi aa" 

But I don't necessarily think thats the case. Bedroom intimacy has to be a constant part of marital union, that's undebatable I bellieve, but  what could be debated is frequency of it . But again it could be  you're right as you're more experienced in life than I am 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 5/15/2018 at 11:31 PM, puzzled said:

I don't think it its healthy to marry someone that you're not attracted too! 

You're talking about a "luxury" . I believe most heterosexuals have this luxury and therefore they somehow believe all of humanity has it , but you have to respect the fact that its a privilege not most homosexuals have . 

remember i live in india where ppl still have bouts of diarrhea over live-ins / intercase/ inter religious marriages , where dalits still can't ride a horse on their marriage in some villages, where even in mumbai the youth section is staggeringly homophobic . 

It's not healthy or fun life to marry someone you're not attracted to , it could be hellish too, but heterosexuals via their institutions like patriarchy and religion  have created this hell for us , unmindful of the fact that they are infact making their kids (gay) suffer via this 

and we have no choice but to live this hell. 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 5/16/2018 at 2:57 AM, jkvlondon said:

well that's put all our bazurg and purkiyan in their place ...silly billy lust is transitory as is beauty  many people on the planet stick around and honour their partners due to deeper things as empathy, loyalty, love(unconditional) , honour and common goals .

i believe "healthy attraction" was a criteria somewhere at subconscious level even in those days ! I know in short 500 history of us , we have most of the time spent being persecuted by mughals, brits, afghans, indians , etc but I think "tainu kudi pasand aa" / "tainu munda pasand aa" questions were evidence of the fact that attraction was desirable trait in a marriage 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 5/16/2018 at 12:43 PM, Prokharkoo84 said:

hold up... bingah describes someone who likes bending over aka bingah hona so im guessing that describes you. whatever your sexual preferences are, why ruin some poor girls life? she will want a husband, children etc and you are shattering her dreams. why dont you grow a pair of tutteh and tell your family who you really are, if they disown you then go somewhere and be who you want to be. do not ruin some innocent girls life.

The kind of gaandh that you're posting on this thread is worthy of a few weeks of ban ! 

When you call gays names like those, you inadvertently create an atmosphere where prejudices fester and thus secrecy and shaming becomes common ! And this in return leads gay men to marry women . 

So the kind of gaandh and name calling you're posting here means you indirectly fueling gay men marrying women. 

I am not ruining her life . 

She's very happy with this relationship . We chat daily , have almost daily talk , and she's anything but sad or doubtful of me. 

I tell you her story . Her both brothers are total disappoint , both their daughter-in-laws create daily quarrels in home and created a wall in home and kitchen is segregated . Secondly one of her elder sisters is a divorcee because her "sidha (straight) husband" was an alcoholic and womanizer and she married another guy and he's just as bad and doesn't work. So much for "sidha guys" . Are straight men some kind of saint or what ? they're ruining more lives than gay men ever will . 

Secondly , my mom dad has agreed on no dowry , not that  my fiances poor parents can afford anyways , but we don't want it anyways. And my parents have agreed to sponsor her studies further if she wanna study after marriage and get a job . 

I have been to doctors for some stiffness  meds and it helps somewhat lol , and you think I am ruining her life ? lol 

 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

On 5/16/2018 at 1:48 PM, MisterrSingh said:

I can imagine that conversation between the doctor and the patient.

haha . The story is a big one. 

We went to punjab at my cousins wed last december . What i didn't knew was my parents had already setup an idea about seeing a girl for me.  I had already told them a couple of times that I am gay but they couldn't care less.

So we went at this one historical gurdwara where the girls family was about to come. I wasn't feeling very pleasant , saw the girl and later on sulked all the while when moving to my grandpa's home. I was feeling betrayed that why they're taking me through this unpleasant , revolting thing of seeing a girl . I created a big drama in private in front of my parents when i was back at nanake later that night . Tears and screams were part of it . My parents were shook . They dropped the idea for sometime . 

Similar drama sessions happened a few times more . Then back to mumbai , my parents started seeing more rishtey . All this despite me repeatedly telling them "I don't feel any interest in girls" , but at the same time I was also feeling scared how am I going to live my whole life alone as I have no siblings and they too instilled the same fear in me . "Koi jeevansathi ta hona chahida" my mom would tell me repeatedly and ensuring me that sex is not the crux of marriage , infact she would be busy after i have a kid or two.

Later part of feb, I went to one homeopath (i know its quackery) to whom i confided that i am gay. So he told my parents to not see rishta for me for a while until he puts me on a 6 month course to test if i have bisexual potential. But during return  from docs office, mom started crying in the cab and cursed me and herself and how she's only suffered all her life, first from her alcoholic husband and now me . They felt as if i am purposely torturing them. 

Thats when i decided this nonsense has no end to it and its better to get married and end this syaapa once and for all

so I told them ok I will now see an allopath. The allopath doc insisted I should be attracted to my partner for anything to progress in a sexual relationship . I kept telling him i just need stiffness down there. He got frustrated . And put me on 1 month course of this med . It did help while i was on med lol . But it was interesting how he was so much interested in whether I am interested in her or not. But i didn't tell him i am gay.

Then i got this girls rishta . Surprisingly later we came to knew she used to attend chowki of same maata (Mata Sahib kaur , a 20th century lady saint) who had blessed my mom with a son(me) . During our punjab trip , we had gone to Mata sahib kaur's gurdwara as well . So I felt that this rishta is blessing for me , as both me and my rishta came from same source 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

21 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

I worry for Ajeet IF he goes through with this and, as I suspect, his prospective wife eventually discovers he is gay, which isn't something that can be kept perpetually secret in Indian society. The natural response from her end will be to lash out, alert all and sundry to this shocking revelation, and maybe take things further in order to punish the architects of the deception. 

What you're proposing is a HUGE ask for two constitutents of a relationship who come from a tolerant and civilised background and culture; expecting the same from our people in that part of the world -- even in so-called metropolitan Mumbai -- is demanding the impossible in my opinion.

I don't get it what are you trying to say exactly ? You're saying it is impossible to keep gayness a perpetual secret in indian society . Why do you think so ? Rather the opposite should be true. Without any proper dialogue in society about homosexuality , it is infact easier to keep one's homosexuality under the rug . 

I have no plan on coming out to her . If I did , she won't stay put. I don't think any women would. Sorry but heterosexuals have created this climate. And now that I am engaged, ther'es no looking back 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

7 hours ago, Prokharkoo84 said:

like i said your all a bunch of idiots for supporting this binghah kuthah.... firstly he is ruining some innocent girls life, then he doin ultimate beadbi of the beautiful anand karaj and Guru Granth Sahib ji, then to top it all off, what will his 'wife' and her family and friends think of singhs? seriously wake up and see how wrong this is!!!!

why are you having such a diarrhea ? 

let me ask you, are you proper saabat surat 5K amritdhari singh , or are you one of those "high sikh online" but a monah in real life kinda sikh . If you're the latter one , you have no right to give me a lecture on anand karaj and SGGS disrespect.

Straight ppl do more beadbi of Anandkaraj than anyone else. 

And one more surprising fact for you : The kind of gaandh and name calling you spew against "bingahs" is what forces them to live a life of secrecy and end up marrying your sisters under social/family pressure . And most gay guys in india and china do end up marrying women.  How does it feel now when your own hatred comes to bite you back in your a**. I am getting married to her , like millions of other gay guys do and there's nothing you can do except your impotent rage . Now you may continue with your impotent rage lol  ... 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

6 hours ago, Singh559 said:

>Me thinking I'll get on SikhSangat and read a great thread

>Maybe I'll find a PJS level quality post

>See this thread

>Leaves

well people don't want to treat gays with dignity and allow same sex marriage, nor do they wanna marry them to their sisters. Then what should be done ? you can't have it both ways 

[Guest AjeetSinghPunjabi]

13 minutes ago, lostconfussedsingh said:

Bro you made a great point here is a link i found based on your message 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/akjexposed.wordpress.com/2015/05/01/hardeep-singh-leicester-the-nervous-indian/amp/

the site itself seems shady ! "Exposing the AKJ" , really ? 

is it fair to blame a considerable sikh denomination based on actions of a few ?