Looks over heart

[Singh1989]

As Sikhs youngsters are told "When going for wedding and you're Amritdhaari, be sure your spouse is too." Unfortunately like the education over Nitnemi spouse (as explained in last post), THIS IS NOT TRUE! Grown ups, same grown ups who utter "Nitnemi hovai, Oocha soocha jivan hovai," will say "Have you seen how ugly he/ she looks?"

During my trip to engagement in India this year, my uncle took me to Baba Deep Singh Gurudwara.* My Uncle said "Son, we're going to see this potential Amritdhaari girl for you. But be warned! She don't look nice..." On visiting the Gurudwara my mum saw her. Uncle was desperate to leave, on exiting mum stopped us n said we SHOULD meet her! So we went to one side n we all met. Ok, she had dark skin n bit o facial hair (unnoticeable from far). When she spoke she had this sweet amazing voice. I knew her jivan was that of Chardikala. I thought I met one girl now for next then I can decide between two.

Then dad rang, asked n he was like "Naa puth! Chungi tra dekhi? Rehndi yaar. Audhe dandh wi ooche si" (No idea where he got that from. No pics of her were sent from anyone so my uncle exaggerated). I was right though! She does immense seva. Infact she GAVE UP HER TEACHING JOB TO DO SEVA AT THE GURUDWARA! Then my mum spoke on phone n said "She matches my son! She's simple he's simple. She is also somebody's daughter." Then dad spoke to me n said make sure you look carefully at next girl b4 deciding. Don't just carry on liking any old body.

BROTHERS N SISTERS! THIS... Is the truth. If it happened with me I bet it happened elsewhere! Many are swearing at me, thinking "No mate, you're only one Sikh guy representative" BUT... I know for a fact their are more Sikhs who been through LIES by adults of "Nitnemi over looks" and "Oocha soocha over education." In fact it is Looks/ education over Amritdhaari!

After my engagement to another girl and return back to my home town mum rebuked dad about wha he said n talking me outta saying "Yes" to her. All I say is whoever marries that girl, that guy will be a Heera.

*Names of places and locations are changed.

[GuestKaur2]

Appearance doesn't matter. If the individuals heart is in the right place then that is the main thing. This girl sounds lovely veerji, she is doing the right thing: seva etc. Such people need encouragement there aren't many people who would even just take a day off work to do seva. She is indeed blessed. This is the essence of Sikhi, having so much pyaar for Vaheguru and the Sangat. This is the definition of a True Gursikh. If you truly love Vaheguru Ji then nothing else matters, it doesn't matter how much facial hair you have, how you look. These are the least prioritised. We are fooled in to thinking that appearance matters more than heart. All Vaheguru Ji can see is the pyaar we have for Him not our appearance. Imagine how Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj feels when He sees His Gursikhs in the Sikh Saroop. This is the definition of a Guru Da Sikh. 

[mahandulai]

On 11/9/2018 at 11:04 PM, Singh1989 said:

As Sikhs youngsters are told "When going for wedding and you're Amritdhaari, be sure your spouse is too." Unfortunately like the education over Nitnemi spouse (as explained in last post), THIS IS NOT TRUE! Grown ups, same grown ups who utter "Nitnemi hovai, Oocha soocha jivan hovai," will say "Have you seen how ugly he/ she looks?"

During my trip to engagement in India this year, my uncle took me to Baba Deep Singh Gurudwara.* My Uncle said "Son, we're going to see this potential Amritdhaari girl for you. But be warned! She don't look nice..." On visiting the Gurudwara my mum saw her. Uncle was desperate to leave, on exiting mum stopped us n said we SHOULD meet her! So we went to one side n we all met. Ok, she had dark skin n bit o facial hair (unnoticeable from far). When she spoke she had this sweet amazing voice. I knew her jivan was that of Chardikala. I thought I met one girl now for next then I can decide between two.

Then dad rang, asked n he was like "Naa puth! Chungi tra dekhi? Rehndi yaar. Audhe dandh wi ooche si" (No idea where he got that from. No pics of her were sent from anyone so my uncle exaggerated). I was right though! She does immense seva. Infact she GAVE UP HER TEACHING JOB TO DO SEVA AT THE GURUDWARA! Then my mum spoke on phone n said "She matches my son! She's simple he's simple. She is also somebody's daughter." Then dad spoke to me n said make sure you look carefully at next girl b4 deciding. Don't just carry on liking any old body.

BROTHERS N SISTERS! THIS... Is the truth. If it happened with me I bet it happened elsewhere! Many are swearing at me, thinking "No mate, you're only one Sikh guy representative" BUT... I know for a fact their are more Sikhs who been through LIES by adults of "Nitnemi over looks" and "Oocha soocha over education." In fact it is Looks/ education over Amritdhaari!

After my engagement to another girl and return back to my home town mum rebuked dad about wha he said n talking me outta saying "Yes" to her. All I say is whoever marries that girl, that guy will be a Heera.

*Names of places and locations are changed.

disagree with your strawman you have created.

A strawman is setting up a scenario that isnt real, so you can tear it down.

That simply isnt how the world works. No one goes just for looks.

When people say 'ugly' on a first impression, it means the whole character seems ugly, and not just looks. People's words arent literal all the time. You are very young, please learn this.

[puzzled]

My Mums colleague who is a amrtidhari lady and so is her son asked my mum that she wants a girl for her son, my mum suggested this dastar wearing amritdhari girl from a amritdhari family that she knows , a few days later the lady got back to my mum and said no because her son said that the girl looks like a man. no joke!   so its not just uncles and aunties it the younger lot as well 

[GuestKaur2]

25 minutes ago, puzzled said:

My Mums colleague who is a amrtidhari lady and so is her son asked my mum that she wants a girl for her son, my mum suggested this dastar wearing amritdhari girl from a amritdhari family that she knows , a few days later the lady got back to my mum and said no because her son said that the girl looks like a man. no joke!   so its not just uncles and aunties it the younger lot as well 

Thats so sad, girls should recieve extra encouragement and praise for wearing a dastar.

[puzzled]

End of the day as humans we are naturally attracted to nice/pleasant looking things. And the same goes for potential partners. Most people desire to marry a nice looking person. Most Punjabi parents want a nice looking daughter in law. its just the way we as people think ... 

[jkvlondon]

5 hours ago, mahandulai said:

disagree with your strawman you have created.

A strawman is setting up a scenario that isnt real, so you can tear it down.

That simply isnt how the world works. No one goes just for looks.

When people say 'ugly' on a first impression, it means the whole character seems ugly, and not just looks. People's words arent literal all the time. You are very young, please learn this.

oi baba ji you are younger than him and he was recounting actual happening to him not a hypthothetical...

[mahandulai]

16 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

oi baba ji you are younger than him and he was recounting actual happening to him not a hypthothetical...

I am telling facts, either way,

when people say ugly, its not a physical trait, just, its an overall impression.

[jkvlondon]

14 hours ago, mahandulai said:

I am telling facts, either way,

when people say ugly, its not a physical trait, just, its an overall impression.

 

TRUTH IS SHE WAS NONE OF THE ABOVE , IN FACT SHE WAS MORALLY BEAUTIFUL , ETHICALLY EXQUISITE  just not a airbrushed fantasy SHE WAS REAL

[mahandulai]

13 hours ago, jkvlondon said:

TRUTH IS SHE WAS NONE OF THE ABOVE , IN FACT SHE WAS MORALLY BEAUTIFUL , ETHICALLY EXQUISITE  just not a airbrushed fantasy SHE WAS REAL

when someone says ugly, that don't mean definition you idiosa,

when people talk, they say words, their minds feel, and not reciting the dictionary.

Most people associate the word ugly, with something looking gross,

BUT

the impression of an 'ugly' woman, who is always doing charity, has the impression of being sweet or kind.

Psychology 101.