What happens to laava if your partner passes away

[Redoptics]

3 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Bro, ignore that c**t. He's lost the plot (probably has some special needs action going on). I think he may have some mild autism, because he obviously can't relate to normal humans. Firstly he has empathy for pedo-rapists more than their victims, now he glosses over someone's loss like it was no biggy. He obviously has little or no ability to empathise with people (other than pedos) or have some grasp what most of us would consider serious personal losses. 

I haven't lost a partner, but I did lose a best friend a few years ago and thought I'd never get over it. Bani, meditation, exercise, close family members helped me get over it. Doing a really physical job seems to help big time too (for me anyway) - my theory is that it dissipates all the emotional energy sudden losses  can generate. 

We're biologically/psychologically built to overcome these things over time. Time will attenuate the pain and loss as much as that may seem unlikely to you right now. 

Keep your head up!

Thank you, I'm a Software test analyst so the physical job is a no go.

However I might get back into HIIT training, i used to do that a few years back, its intense but only takes half hour to do.

I am surprised of the lack of empathy and compassion to be honest, you know a little human decency goes a long way.

Maybe this is today's youth, or he acts out this way to get attention.

I listen to bani a lot now, but i can not concentrate when I try and meditate,  all my thoughts go on my wife.

My concern is because she was young, she didn't do enough paath, to merge her. That is why i asked the question,  i really wanted to know if we are still connected I can do the paath for her.

Hope that makes sense, thank you for your help.

[jkvlondon]

9 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Thank you, I'm a Software test analyst so the physical job is a no go.

However I might get back into HIIT training, i used to do that a few years back, its intense but only takes half hour to do.

I am surprised of the lack of empathy and compassion to be honest, you know a little human decency goes a long way.

Maybe this is today's youth, or he acts out this way to get attention.

I listen to bani a lot now, but i can not concentrate when I try and meditate,  all my thoughts go on my wife.

My concern is because she was young, she didn't do enough paath, to merge her. That is why i asked the question,  i really wanted to know if we are still connected I can do the paath for her.

Hope that makes sense, thank you for your help.

bro Gurbani says that whatever you do saves you and also your relations , trust in that and keep your love and bani burning bright... it is hard losing someone so central to your day to day life , you will never forget but Guru ji will take your pains away

[Redoptics]

8 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

bro Gurbani says that whatever you do saves you and also your relations , trust in that and keep your love and bani burning bright... it is hard losing someone so central to your day to day life , you will never forget but Guru ji will take your pains away

Thank you, to be honest I have on and off days blaming Vaheguru Ji also, all these criminals alive and Vaheguru Ji takes my wife.

There comes a lot of confusion,  doubts, anger, whats the point, wanting to drink etc

But I always go back to bani as either when reciting or listening,  I am at peace.

Sometimes I feel I am going to wake up and its a dream , its a very surreal and strange experience.

[dallysingh101]

30 minutes ago, Redoptics said:

Thank you, I'm a Software test analyst so the physical job is a no go.

However I might get back into HIIT training, i used to do that a few years back, its intense but only takes half hour to do.

I am surprised of the lack of empathy and compassion to be honest, you know a little human decency goes a long way.

Maybe this is today's youth, or he acts out this way to get attention.

I listen to bani a lot now, but i can not concentrate when I try and meditate,  all my thoughts go on my wife.

My concern is because she was young, she didn't do enough paath, to merge her. That is why i asked the question,  i really wanted to know if we are still connected I can do the paath for her.

Hope that makes sense, thank you for your help.

I used to work in IT too many many moons ago. But I used to train with my mate (the one that passed away) too back then. So it's not mutually exclusive.  

Start with hit, and if you get the inclination, try weight training - like I said before, there is something with graft and burning up emotional energy. 

As for that tw@t. I don't think he is a norm of today's youth myself. I also worked as a teacher for a bit with teenagers, and ones like him would stick out a mile (and not for the right reasons). I don't like sla@gging off young people like that, but he's come out with stuff that shocks the hell out of me, and I'm not the closeted type. 

As for the part highlighted above. I think jkv's posts sort of nail the issue. What I will say though, is don't give up on the meditation. Shorten the session if required to just a few minutes. I've slipped up on my bhagti recently and am trying to get back on it (training too for that matter). New Years will help, as I will make the right resolutions to push me back in the right direction. 

[RajKaregaKhalsa1]

Bhaji,

Bhai Jagraj Singh ji talks about how being in Sikhi and doing Paath not only helps yourself but your whole family (7 generations)

Waheguru will definitely hear your Ardas, he listens to everyone (maybe not answering it straight away but he knows)

I heard a Sakhi of a Mahapurakh who went to Dharam Raj's court and he heard the screams and saw the punishment on those who sinned. The Mahapurakh in his compassion asked Dharam Raj what he could do. And he asked Dharam Raj to give a bit of his Naam kamai to the people in hell and it saved everyone there. That's how powerful it is.

So as Bhen ji said above you can do Benti for her

Hope I helped a little bit 

[Redoptics]

6 hours ago, RajKaregaKhalsa1 said:

Bhaji,

Bhai Jagraj Singh ji talks about how being in Sikhi and doing Paath not only helps yourself but your whole family (7 generations)

Waheguru will definitely hear your Ardas, he listens to everyone (maybe not answering it straight away but he knows)

I heard a Sakhi of a Mahapurakh who went to Dharam Raj's court and he heard the screams and saw the punishment on those who sinned. The Mahapurakh in his compassion asked Dharam Raj what he could do. And he asked Dharam Raj to give a bit of his Naam kamai to the people in hell and it saved everyone there. That's how powerful it is.

So as Bhen ji said above you can do Benti for her

Hope I helped a little bit 

Thank you, helped a lot, I just want my wife to receive the paath I do.

I miss her, still hear her in my head and heart.

[MisterrSingh]

Don't wile away your mourning period by spending it online. You need time on your own to contemplate and centre yourself. As much as you may believe you'll receive support and advice from people on this forum -- and you will for a while -- it will never be enough. Get out into the real world: breathe, live, observe, learn. Only then will you find peace. It will never come from behind a screen.

[Jaggaa]

@Redoptics - No matter how hard I couldn't empathise with someone losing the love of their life as I have yet to experience these emotions but I know for a fact that you're going to get through this despite it being such a deep injury. 

From the way you write - it comes across that you are a very giving person and as a man this is what your purpose is. It is great that right now you are having thoughts of looking out for your wife - but in some time I hope that you will find that as a man you're capable of giving to everyone and all scopes of creation, once again.

Also, do not seek any help on an online forum - it isn't the right place. If you find that it's difficult to rationalise and gain your focus back again then seek counsel - I'd suggest seeking counsel of someone who is able to relate to your culture as they will better be able to make sense of why you're feeling what you're feeling.

[Not2Cool2Argue]

Yes the paath u do for ur wife will help her. Bhai pinderpaal singh the kathavavhik talks abt this. 

The antam ardaas we do, the ardaas after the funeral, is about that to. Asking waheguruji to help the person and keep him in his sanctuary. 

Also bhai randhir singh, when he was in jail, and going through a really depressing times,.he said the ardaas of the sangat, really helped him at that time

 So space and time can be overcome by ardaas.