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Indo Canadian Gang, Amrit, my life


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3 hours ago, Ranjeet01 said:

You have done a lot of wrong things but you have redeemed yourself by doing the right things. 

You are in a better place because of Sikhi. Look how far you have come because of Sikhi. 

If you do not want to take Amrit then at least keep your kes and dastaar and keep doing the nitnem.

Keep it simple. Your daily paath has a had a lot of benefits that you do not realise.

You will realise what you are missing when you stop doing it.

Thank you for replying. I will try. 

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I would suggest becoming a nihang, this way *DELETED*

Also nihang Singh often just wear the *DELETED*

Nihang Singhs often don't mind their *DELETED*- but encourage them to keep head hair uncut.

I would strongly recommend finding some local nihang Singhs and I am almost sure they will convince you to stay in Sikhi and show you a more liveable and workable Sikhi.

It's fine to listen to nitnem if you don't do it yourself. 

Sikhi is not meant to be stressful, don't hold yourselves to the standards of the amritdharis you initially saw.

In the West, you have basically got Amritdhari groups that have been based upon the most extreme sections of Amritdhari community. If you go to Punjab, or outside like hazur sahib etc you will see much more normal Amritdharis that don't do half the stuff Amritdharis in the West say you need to do.

It is fine if you just listen to your nitnem, don't eat halal meat,  don't have sex outside your marriage,. Don't smoke tobacco and don't cut your hair and don't take intoxicants. 

With kakkars just do your best as you can and don't get too hung up on it. It is fine to have your own interpretation. Many Sikhs eg 3ho don't stress on wearing all 5ks while bathing etc.

Other than the above, three main focus should just be on fixing your inside being more humble and defeating the five evils.

It is better to follow a moderate Sikhi than to cut your hair. Just follow the basic for now.

Ask yourself - what would guru ji say to me right now? Would he say it is better to just do the bear minimum as an Amritdhari and add in on more later or to leave Amrit altogether? You don't have to be a perfect Saint, it's fine that you enjoy a physical relationship with your wife. Don't beat yourself up over it.

You don't have to wear Bana, just wear your normal dastar and 5ks

Do ardaas to guru sahib that he may give you the power and mindset to live in the way he wishes you to, not how your mind tells you to.

And don't even worry about panthic issues and khalistan etc for now

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On 10/17/2020 at 8:48 AM, TuhadaDaas said:

I would suggest becoming a nihang...

Beautiful reply. Thanks for your support. 
Yes I will look into that. I would like to do more research about the Nihangs before I go out to find them. 
I am a bit of an extremist. im either a Punjabi gangster mona, or trying to be that perfect Saint amritdhari lol. I need to find a balance. 
I might keep my hair. I don't know. I feel like it's not really me though. I'm pretending to be something I'm not.  When I took amrit my son started growing his hair too. That was 2 years ago. I didn't force him. I think he feels like I abandoned ship leaving him on it. Maybe in his mind he thinks we took this journey together and now I'm leaving. He's upset with me right now. I'm just tired of living a lie. That's all. I'm born in Canada and 34 years of my life I was just a Canadian mona. These last 2 years I'm somebody else. I look in the mirror everyday and I see a lie. Pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not comfortable with that part yet. Maybe it will take time. Maybe I should cut my hair step back and see how I feel. If I miss being a singh, then I know the answer. I'll grow my hair again but this time take things slow. And when I take amrit this time I will take it with my wife. I believe its better that way. We can follow the path together and support each other. 
Don't get me wrong. Guru Granth Sahib ji Maharaj has been great support for me. 
Sometimes I think I took amrit for all the political reasons with khalistani's. To be apart of a movement. 
The head granthi at the gurdwara even told me to take it easy and not focus too much on the political side of it yet. He told me to focus on Bani. He was right. 
Anyways ill have to think long and hard about this a bit more. 
I'll consider your advice as well. Its good advice. 
Thank you very much for your support. 

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