I deleted this previously, reposting

[Arshdeep3]

21 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

It could've been worse. You're lucky you didn't grow up where I did with that name bro.......

Ich kann raten

[Arshdeep3]

21 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

What a twat you are. Not even attempting to change. 

True. Get the hell up. Life's fucked up, so what? That's how it is. You expected everything to go perfectly? Well, it didn't. Get over it and stop being a crybaby. 

[dallysingh101]

5 minutes ago, Arshdeep3 said:

True. Get the hell up. Life's fucked up, so what? That's how it is. You expected everything to go perfectly? Well, it didn't. Get over it and stop being a crybaby. 

Good on you Arshdeep!! You're starting to get the idea!!!

[Arshdeep3]

On 4/2/2023 at 8:32 AM, Guest Idio said:

Keep listening to Sakhis, especially Sakhis like Bhai Taru Singh Ji and Bhai Bota Singh and Garja Singh. I have completely no idea how it would be to be in your boots, but I went through a few rounds of depression in my life. Sakhis about Guru Ke Singh fighting for Sikh helped me through depression, and so did listening to Salok Sheik Farid Ke. These things gave me a sense of detachment that I still long to have to this day, and gave me a deep empathy to creatures of Paratama. I would suggest atleast listening to Chaupi Sahib and Tav Parsad Savaye evey single day. If you miss a day or two, don’t beat yourself up over it. 
 

Never give up on Waheguru and never loose trust in him. I don’t know if I’m just a naive teenager that’s barely into the world, but everytime I lost trust and strayed away from Waheguru, it gave me tremendous amounts of anxiety. I remember during my depression there was something that made me feel intoxicated all the time if I did it, and that was waking up for amritvela. Don’t just read or listen to 5 baniya, listen to Kirtan. I usually used to have 5 baniya listened to or read and then 7 short kirtans I would listen to.

 

the only thing telling you that you won’t be able to bond with Satguru Sache Patsha is you. Baba Bidhi Chand ji, a gursikh of Guru Hargobind Sahib ji Maharaj used to be a thief before entering the Gurus Sanctuary. A thief can become one of the greatest warriors of the Guru and your defeatist mindset tells you that you cannot achieve Akal Purakh Waheguru within this lifetime? Absolute nonsense on your behalf. Sajjan Tug used to kill and rob people in the robes of a holy man and he was forgiven by the Guru. Maharaj is waiting for all of us with open arms but our stupid selves don’t see him.

Why do you want to stay in Maya and play it safe? If you are truly as horrible as you say, you might have to go through all Chaursi Lakh lives before you get this chance again.

 

Bai Prapat Manukh De Huriya, Gobind Milan ke ahe Teri bariya 

Avar Kaaj tere kite na Kaam, mil Sadhsangat Pajh Keval Naam.

 

You don’t wanna love waheguru? 
 

saach Kahu sunleyo sabhe jin prem kiyo tin he prabh payo.

You have a shot at reaching akal purakh, don’t blow it.

 

Your Janam is still valid, even on your deathbed. 
 

Bahot Janam Bichere te Madho, ehe Janam tumare Lekhe.

 

Twice in your life you have been thrown into battle. Twice in life you have been broken down. Kabir Ji has bani on this.

 

Soora So Pehachanye, Jo lare deen ke het, purja purja kat mare, kab hoo na shade Khet 

 

Recognize him as a warrior, who fights for his way of life. He may be chopped to pieces, but he will not leave the battle field.

 

You say you are 0.001 percent sikh? Fight for being a sikh. Go into the battlefield of your mind, defeat the coward who doesn’t want to face life and discard him, or die trying. 
 

I don’t understand why you are asking Maharaj to Protect you when he sent his own sons to slaughter the Mughals and get a death sentence. Life is all a battle veere, stand upfront and face it.

ਕਛੁ ਬਿਗਰਿਓ ਨਾਹਿਨ ਅਜਹੁ ਜਾਗ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
कछु बिगरिओ नाहिन अजहु जाग ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
Kacẖẖ bigri▫o nāhin ajahu jāg. ||1|| rahā▫o.
Nothing has been lost yet - there is still time to wake up! ||1||Pause||
Guru Teg Bahadur

 

It also gives me tremendous anxiety to be away from waheguru. Twice in my lifetime, I have failed. I can now see what kind of person I really am. And that is a weak, indulged in maya, dark, dirty, filthy, and tremendously evil soul. I have always preferred maya over waheguru. I know that now. I also know I cannot fight it. It's in my nature. What to do when one's nature is evil at its deepest? 

Another reason why I don't want to keep fighting is because I am tired already. I don't have the strength to win. Why just hold up until it's broken me again? I 'd rather not get up. There's nothing holding my hand. It's just me fighting against maya. No backup, no support, not even waheguru. It's too strong for me. 

I know nothing has been lost, but I don't want to go through the same again. And if I keep walking on this path, at some point I'll have to take maharaj's test again. I don't want to. I have given up. I'd rather not get hurt again. It hurts to fight alone, to fall alone, and to stay in the darkness alone. I am angry, maybe I was not loved enough to grant me all my worldly wishes, was I also not loved enough to hold my hand in my worse times? Where was waheguru when the world was crushing me? Maybe my shoulders aren't strong enough, but waheguru's are. For some he has saved ships with a single hand, for me, he let me drown. I am angry, at myself for who I am, for letting myself be overpowered and because I was left alone to live with that. 

[Arshdeep3]

4 minutes ago, dallysingh101 said:

Good on you Arshdeep!! You're starting to get the idea!!!

There's a long way to go. 

[dallysingh101]

1 minute ago, Arshdeep3 said:

There's a long way to go. 

A journey of a million miles starts with one step. 

 

3 minutes ago, Arshdeep3 said:

I am angry, maybe I was not loved enough to grant me all my worldly wishes, was I also not loved enough to hold my hand in my worse times? Where was waheguru when the world was crushing me? Maybe my shoulders aren't strong enough, but waheguru's are. For some he has saved ships with a single hand, for me, he let me drown. I am angry, at myself for who I am, and because I was left alone to live with that. 

That's where you are wrong. You aren't alone unless to make yourself feel that way. You have a relationship with your creator. This relationship isn't like some imagined one with some fairy godmother who grants you all your wishes. The relationship will test you, demand of you, but if you learn to leave it in Waheguru's hands when required, you don't have to face things alone. Your spiritual practices are also a big part in helping you rebuild yourself spiritually, physically and psychologically too. 

 

See these knocks as feedback telling you your expectations were false, and that you have to adjust accordingly. Anything beats being a self-pitying, depressing mope. 

[Arshdeep3]

1 hour ago, dallysingh101 said:

A journey of a million miles starts with one step. 

 

That's where you are wrong. You aren't alone unless to make yourself feel that way. You have a relationship with your creator. This relationship isn't like some imagined one with some fairy godmother who grants you all your wishes. The relationship will test you, demand of you, but if you learn to leave it in Waheguru's hands when required, you don't have to face things alone. Your spiritual practices are also a big part in helping you rebuild yourself spiritually, physically and psychologically too. 

 

See these knocks as feedback telling you your expectations were false, and that you have to adjust accordingly. Anything beats being a self-pitying, depressing mope. 

Yesterday, I did my first japji sahib in like two years, and today there are you, slowly convincing me that there's still hope. I hate when this happens. When Waheguru is playing all these games through someone else. I don't want to. The reason? I don't want to take part in another test and have things taken from me just to see how I react. 

[dallysingh101]

2 hours ago, Arshdeep3 said:

Yesterday, I did my first japji sahib in like two years, and today there are you, slowly convincing me that there's still hope. I hate when this happens. When Waheguru is playing all these games through someone else. I don't want to. The reason? I don't want to take part in another test and have things taken from me just to see how I react. 

Yeah, I think you probably do take it deep in the 'arsh' the way you are talking. 

Man up you pu55y. 

It's not taken away to see how you react, it's taken away to try and guide you to knowing what you really are without hiding behind all the temporary material stuff that we have to all leave in the end anyway.    

[dallysingh101]

If I seem harsh. It's because you need to dig yourself out of this type of thinking quick!!!!

[Guest Guest]

Dear Arshdeep Ji,

i wish you  strength and health.

Many things you have wrote about must be depressing to you. If you have depression, I hope you get out of it one day, not by doing selfharm.

I can imagine, emphasize with your thoughts/feelings. That pain and suffering makes one feel like wanting the head to smash in a wall and pain like if there would be thousands of sharp knives in your heart. Such pain canot only be felt mentally but physically too.

Some have posted answers which I see might have "helped" you a little bit ..even though some replys were harsh. 

If you feel like 00,1 percent Sikh then try to keep it up . Make things, in which your mind feels comfortable.

You don't need to do full nitnem if you don't feel ready for it.

Do one mool mantar Jaap if you like it. Don't put yourself in pressure.

Your mind is under the influence of the panj Chor. Don't let your mind/the panj chof fall you into depression .

But even if you would get/have depression, maybe you still get out from it.

Because I clearly KNOW that you can get out of it (even without medicine etc) YOU CAN.

I wish you all good things in the world.