Singhs At Clubs And Bars

VanHelsingh · March 14, 2011

Im not sure why you would want to do parchaar in a club? I dont really understand why theres suddenly a trend for young singhs/singhnia to do "parchaar" in clubs.

I'm dying here. I can't breathe from laughing too much. Is this true? Anyone that says they go to clubs to do "parchaar" is a blagger!!! :lol:

D Kaur · March 15, 2011

There is nothing about family at wedding parties. Gursikhs don't have them for their daughters or sons wedding. So why go where manmat acts are endorsed as culture.

You shouldn't.

For the original poster who asked about clubs, i've attempted to describe the differences, you would take your sister to a restaurant, and reception, but not to a club. Therefore clubs are a no no...

Using our sisters as an example, often hits home. It's a method of trying to explain to the OP.

Only five · March 16, 2011

You shouldn't.

For the original poster who asked about clubs, i've attempted to describe the differences, you would take your sister to a restaurant, and reception, but not to a club. Therefore clubs are a no no...

Using our sisters as an example, often hits home. It's a method of trying to explain to the OP.

Yea, but im saying no brother that has common sense would ever take their sisters to a reception. Even going to a restaurant is difficult to say, depending which one.

March 17, 2011

SERIOUSLY??

I can't believe this topic actually went on for more than one page.

The answer is NO. No Sikh of the Guru goes to clubs. If you want to go to clubs, give up your Sikhi first. Go to the Gurudwara, look straight at Guru sahib, and out loud so everyone can hear, say "I AM NOT YOUR SIKH BECAUSE I WANT TO GO PARTY AT CLUBS".

Then go do what you wish.

Bani to back it up:

kabeer saadhhoo kee sa(n)gath reho jo kee bhoosee khaao ||

Kabeer, I will remain in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, even if I have only coarse bread to eat.

honehaar so hoeihai saakath sa(n)g n jaao ||99||

Whatever will be, will be. I will not associate with the faithless cynics. ||99||

Honestly, I don't want to make the OP feel bad...but really?

Look over the English translations of Gurbani, understand that this is knowledge/instructions given to us by the Guru.

Understand that there is Manmath(Understanding of the world we give ourselves) and the Guru has told us that we will get nowhere with this. Then there is Gurmath (the true understanding given to us through Guru Ji) that is only thing we need.

This is what our Guru has given us.

If you want to ignore this, or rationalize a way for you to go there (parchar....honestly) then go ahead, but your 100% going against your own religion.(if you even still have the audacity to call it your religion)

March 24, 2011

SERIOUSLY??

I can't believe this topic actually went on for more than one page.

The answer is NO. No Sikh of the Guru goes to clubs. If you want to go to clubs, give up your Sikhi first. Go to the Gurudwara, look straight at Guru sahib, and out loud so everyone can hear, say "I AM NOT YOUR SIKH BECAUSE I WANT TO GO PARTY AT CLUBS".

Then go do what you wish.

Bani to back it up:

kabeer saadhhoo kee sa(n)gath reho jo kee bhoosee khaao ||

Kabeer, I will remain in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, even if I have only coarse bread to eat.

honehaar so hoeihai saakath sa(n)g n jaao ||99||

Whatever will be, will be. I will not associate with the faithless cynics. ||99||

Honestly, I don't want to make the OP feel bad...but really?

Look over the English translations of Gurbani, understand that this is knowledge/instructions given to us by the Guru.

Understand that there is Manmath(Understanding of the world we give ourselves) and the Guru has told us that we will get nowhere with this. Then there is Gurmath (the true understanding given to us through Guru Ji) that is only thing we need.

This is what our Guru has given us.

If you want to ignore this, or rationalize a way for you to go there (parchar....honestly) then go ahead, but your 100% going against your own religion.(if you even still have the audacity to call it your religion)

March 24, 2011

I'm kind of in a similar boat. I took amrit a few years ago, and recently am attending a small school in a state that has no Gurudwaras. I have done my best to come home as often as I can given that there is a Gurudwara here. I have gone to the local bar with fellow classmates and honestly its really only classmates that go. In such a small town where there is nothing to do, literally, nothing, what am I supposed to do? I want to hang out with my friends because school can become very stressful at times and I still do my nitnem. I feel like everyones concept of a "bar" is different. Does that mean I can't go eat a restaurant thats a bar and grill? Does that mean I cant go to watch a ball game or an event where alcohol is consumed? When you go to a baseball or football game there are people all around you drinking beer and yet noone seems to have a problem with that. Face it, we live in a world that causes us to adapt.. not CHANGE, but adapt. When I go to the bar, I'm not even THINKING about alcohol or how it tastes or any of that, because my intention is to go to a place to unwind and not be around school. I think its a narrow minded viewpoint to just say "oh you should cut your hair or renounce your Guru." Sikhi is all about practicality and thats where so many Sikhs have gotten away from that. Whats practical, for me to sit in my apartment and surf the web, watch TV, and study? or occasionally go out and hang out with friends? If there was another singh here or another Sikh here then things would be different, but I find it offensive for someone to say that I should cut my hair if I decide to have hang out with friends in a place that serves alcohol. Everyone is in a "race" to show how much more religious they are then the next person, when really its a personal relationship. In the end, what do I know?

SERIOUSLY??

I can't believe this topic actually went on for more than one page.

The answer is NO. No Sikh of the Guru goes to clubs. If you want to go to clubs, give up your Sikhi first. Go to the Gurudwara, look straight at Guru sahib, and out loud so everyone can hear, say "I AM NOT YOUR SIKH BECAUSE I WANT TO GO PARTY AT CLUBS".

Then go do what you wish.

Bani to back it up:

kabeer saadhhoo kee sa(n)gath reho jo kee bhoosee khaao ||

Kabeer, I will remain in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, even if I have only coarse bread to eat.

honehaar so hoeihai saakath sa(n)g n jaao ||99||

Whatever will be, will be. I will not associate with the faithless cynics. ||99||

Honestly, I don't want to make the OP feel bad...but really?

Look over the English translations of Gurbani, understand that this is knowledge/instructions given to us by the Guru.

Understand that there is Manmath(Understanding of the world we give ourselves) and the Guru has told us that we will get nowhere with this. Then there is Gurmath (the true understanding given to us through Guru Ji) that is only thing we need.

This is what our Guru has given us.

If you want to ignore this, or rationalize a way for you to go there (parchar....honestly) then go ahead, but your 100% going against your own religion.(if you even still have the audacity to call it your religion)

March 24, 2011

I'm kind of in a similar boat. I took amrit a few years ago, and recently am attending a small school in a state that has no Gurudwaras. I have done my best to come home as often as I can given that there is a Gurudwara here. I have gone to the local bar with fellow classmates and honestly its really only classmates that go. In such a small town where there is nothing to do, literally, nothing, what am I supposed to do? I want to hang out with my friends because school can become very stressful at times and I still do my nitnem. I feel like everyones concept of a "bar" is different. Does that mean I can't go eat a restaurant thats a bar and grill? Does that mean I cant go to watch a ball game or an event where alcohol is consumed? When you go to a baseball or football game there are people all around you drinking beer and yet noone seems to have a problem with that. Face it, we live in a world that causes us to adapt.. not CHANGE, but adapt. When I go to the bar, I'm not even THINKING about alcohol or how it tastes or any of that, because my intention is to go to a place to unwind and not be around school. I think its a narrow minded viewpoint to just say "oh you should cut your hair or renounce your Guru." Sikhi is all about practicality and thats where so many Sikhs have gotten away from that. Whats practical, for me to sit in my apartment and surf the web, watch TV, and study? or occasionally go out and hang out with friends? If there was another singh here or another Sikh here then things would be different, but I find it offensive for someone to say that I should cut my hair if I decide to have hang out with friends in a place that serves alcohol. Everyone is in a "race" to show how much more religious they are then the next person, when really its a personal relationship. In the end, what do I know?

Well said!

March 29, 2011

I'm kind of in a similar boat. I took amrit a few years ago, and recently am attending a small school in a state that has no Gurudwaras. I have done my best to come home as often as I can given that there is a Gurudwara here. I have gone to the local bar with fellow classmates and honestly its really only classmates that go. In such a small town where there is nothing to do, literally, nothing, what am I supposed to do? I want to hang out with my friends because school can become very stressful at times and I still do my nitnem. I feel like everyones concept of a "bar" is different. Does that mean I can't go eat a restaurant thats a bar and grill? Does that mean I cant go to watch a ball game or an event where alcohol is consumed? When you go to a baseball or football game there are people all around you drinking beer and yet noone seems to have a problem with that. Face it, we live in a world that causes us to adapt.. not CHANGE, but adapt. When I go to the bar, I'm not even THINKING about alcohol or how it tastes or any of that, because my intention is to go to a place to unwind and not be around school. I think its a narrow minded viewpoint to just say "oh you should cut your hair or renounce your Guru." Sikhi is all about practicality and thats where so many Sikhs have gotten away from that. Whats practical, for me to sit in my apartment and surf the web, watch TV, and study? or occasionally go out and hang out with friends? If there was another singh here or another Sikh here then things would be different, but I find it offensive for someone to say that I should cut my hair if I decide to have hang out with friends in a place that serves alcohol. Everyone is in a "race" to show how much more religious they are then the next person, when really its a personal relationship. In the end, what do I know?

I never said cut your hair. I'm sorry if I came off that way. I'm sorry if you feel like im judging you. In fact I was thinking back to a lot of the things I used to think. But again, that was when I was using manmat and wasn't trying to use Gurmat. (GURU JI's MAT, the understanding our Guru JI has given us.)

Restaurants, if you want to sure. There's plenty of places you can go that don't serve alcohol.

In terms of going just to a bar just to hang out with friends: GURU JI's HORSE WOULDN'T WALK THROUGH A TOBACCO FIELD, find another place.

Does that mean I can't go eat a restaurant thats a bar and grill? Does that mean I cant go to watch a ball game or an event where alcohol is consumed? When you go to a baseball or football game there are people all around you drinking beer and yet noone seems to have a problem with that.

Does it mean we cant do this, can't do that, can't go here, can't go there, can't,can't,can't.

It's down to our sharda. It should be I wouldn't want to go there anyways.........

Sikhi is all about practicality and thats where so many Sikhs have gotten away from that

YOUR 100% RIGHT. PRACTICALITY.

In the end, when we are standing in front of Dharamraj, friends won't matter, sporting event won't matter, tasty food won't matter, having fun won't matter.

Practicality..... so let's be practical. If we are Sikh's, we follow what Guru Ji says, practical no?

So let's break it down, what does Guru Ji say to us?

Pauree:

anadhin simarahu thaas ko jo a(n)th sehaaee hoe ||

Night and day, meditate in remembrance on the One who will be your Help and Support in the end.

eih bikhiaa dhin chaar shhia shhaadd chaliou sabh koe ||

This poison shall last for only a few days; everyone must depart, and leave it behind.

kaa ko maath pithaa suth dhheeaa ||

Who is our mother, father, son and daughter?

grih banithaa kashh sa(n)g n leeaa ||

Household, wife, and other things shall not go along with you.

aisee sa(n)ch j binasath naahee ||

So gather that wealth which shall never perish,

path saethee apunai ghar jaahee ||

so that you may go to your true home with honor.

saadhhasa(n)g kal keerathan gaaeiaa ||

In this Dark Age of Kali Yuga, those who sing the Kirtan of the Lord's Praises in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy

naanak thae thae bahur n aaeiaa ||15||

- O Nanak, they do not have to endure reincarnation again. ||15||

OR

mehalaa 1 ||

First Mehla:

jaalo aisee reeth jith mai piaaraa veesarai ||

Burn away those rituals which lead you to forget the Beloved Lord.

naanak saaee bhalee pareeth jith saahib saethee path rehai ||2||

O Nanak, sublime is that love, which preserves my honor with my Lord Master. ||2||

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but Guru Ji is perfect and just think about what Guru Ji tells us. If the Original poster still doesn't like the response's he's got. Go to Guru Ji. Go to a Gurdwara sahib, ask someone to do a hukamnama for you. In the ardas beg gur ji for his advice on this matter. Once the hukam is given ask the person who did the hukamnama to explain it to you.

Think about it in terms of a confessional. You went to Guru sahib with a problem/question, and Guru Ji will give you an answer.

Again, take a step back from what you want...because we as human's tend to want a lot of crap thats just horrible for us. And let Guru Jis mat (gurmat) guide you. and if you still think it's ok to go to a bar, keep repeating the process again and again until you don't.

Going to bar or a club? against sikhi. period. full stop.

Wicked Warrior · April 1, 2011

Not amritdhari but I used to go out to pubs and clubs with friends. Never drank alcohol/took drugs/smoked tobacco. Danced, perved on girls, it would be fun for all of about five mins. I realised fairly quickly it wasn't "me". It didn't feel right.

I realised that I wasn't enjoying myself because I didn't drink/smoke. I didn't enjoy myself because I stood out. I wore a turban. I was already different. This is what Sikhi is - you don't conform to society's standards. You conform to the Guru's standards.

Sikhi isn't about rules and regulations. If they were, like muslims and the koran, there'd be a huge list of dos and don'ts. Sikhi goes beyond that.

SunSingh · April 1, 2011

I'm kind of in a similar boat. I took amrit a few years ago, and recently am attending a small school in a state that has no Gurudwaras. I have done my best to come home as often as I can given that there is a Gurudwara here. I have gone to the local bar with fellow classmates and honestly its really only classmates that go. In such a small town where there is nothing to do, literally, nothing, what am I supposed to do? I want to hang out with my friends because school can become very stressful at times and I still do my nitnem. I feel like everyones concept of a "bar" is different. Does that mean I can't go eat a restaurant thats a bar and grill? Does that mean I cant go to watch a ball game or an event where alcohol is consumed? When you go to a baseball or football game there are people all around you drinking beer and yet noone seems to have a problem with that. Face it, we live in a world that causes us to adapt.. not CHANGE, but adapt. When I go to the bar, I'm not even THINKING about alcohol or how it tastes or any of that, because my intention is to go to a place to unwind and not be around school. I think its a narrow minded viewpoint to just say "oh you should cut your hair or renounce your Guru." Sikhi is all about practicality and thats where so many Sikhs have gotten away from that. Whats practical, for me to sit in my apartment and surf the web, watch TV, and study? or occasionally go out and hang out with friends? If there was another singh here or another Sikh here then things would be different, but I find it offensive for someone to say that I should cut my hair if I decide to have hang out with friends in a place that serves alcohol. Everyone is in a "race" to show how much more religious they are then the next person, when really its a personal relationship. In the end, what do I know?

we are not supposed to go where people are consuming alcohol. i was in a similar situation where i knew no sikhs and all my friends' social functions would involve alcohol. i dissociated from that sangat, spent a few years wiht no sangat, and then eventually found new sangat. it's tough, but if you really make maharaj's bani central in your life you can do it. it also gives great internal strength. perhaps try doing some volunteer work? this is a way to socialise and build up your resume at the same time without alcohol. also working out and sports are another way to socialise in a clean way and get rid of stress.

the negative energy in drinking establishments (or restuarants that serve booze for that matter) has a negative effect on the persons prem sharda. it's a subtle thing that a person sometimes cannot see b/c they haven't become sensitive to such things yet, but the effect is most definitely there.

ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ ॥

Dev Gandhari 5th Guru.

ਉਲਟੀ ॥