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Guest sorrows
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dude...you can't just go and have a relationship with someone, sleep with her, and then claim to have found sikhi and dump and use the fact that she's not amritdhari as an excuse!!!

guru sahib will never be happy with such a justification and cowardness.

I don't know anything about the girl or you..but if she's not the type to sleep around and she slept with you, that means she probably had deep feelings for you and vice versa. Just because you found sikhi doesn't mean you simply dump her. It means that now you must carry yourself in a dignified way. Meaning if you still have feelings and want to get married, then you should take the proper steps in that direction with dignity and honour.

Talk to her...see what her goals are in life...maybe she too might find sikhi inspiring and want to make steps towards it. Not everyone is going to be amritdhari right away, some take longer than others.

If she has totally diferent goals in life and doesn't want to be in your lifestyle, then that would be a mutual parting of ways.

but if she's willing to make changes, then you need to be man enough to stick by and be that helping hand. If you think you can't marry a non amritdhari, then wait it out...give her time...not a time limit....and take her to sangat...introduce her to amritdhari girls her age she can have sangat with...she'll progress....

.... jss... will u marry me? :lol: blush.gif

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Guest Narinder Singh
well basicly cut a lnog story short i used to not be in sikhi infact didnt give a damn about religion and at that time i had a gf we were to gether loved each other etc... had sex before mariage

then i changed and got into sikhi and have taken amrit through mahrajs kirpa

the girl however still wants to be with me which obv cant happen obvious reasons .. the girl has started to think low of herself that she slept wid someone and cant be with them and get married to them

so now i am in a position were i'm into sikhi and obviously dont want to get married to a non amritdhari and on the otehr hand a girl that still loves me

i would like some advice on how i can handle the situation maybe?

thank you in advance

First off veereh, you need to stop being so selfish. Put yourself in her shoes and at least try to see how she must feel. Most girls wouldnt sleep with a guy unless they're really serious and want to be with them forever, as for guys, its the complete opposite. You need to take responsibility for your actions.

When you hurt the creation, you hurt the creator.

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i disagree with "khalsa" girl...

if you take amrit cuz you love 'somebody' then that's a gross misunderstanding of the institution of khanday battay da amrit...

if people don't understand the basic principle and premise of taking amrit..they should refrain from giving themselves names that have the word khalsa in it.

i also disagree with the extent of this "new life" argument that people use...

yes...when you take amrit...you have a new life in the way you CONDUCT yourself...

you conduct yourself in a way that shows the greatness of your father, dashmesh pita...

i personally don't think it's cool for a guy to sleep with a girl, then find sikhi and dump her cuz he's not amritdhari...that girl will have a tough time when it comes to marriage and whatnot and i don't see how that can be seen as an honourable thing for a singh to do.

i didnt mean that its right for her to take amrit just to be with him :lol:

you dont get wha i said

anyway.. to the thread starter

straight out.. people change.

you say you slept with this girl and that you both love each other.

what i meant was, shell respect what views you have, and will stick with them as well.

the only "real" love is what should be felt between a sikh and God.

anyway what im tryin to say is.. if she really loves you, shell go for the goals youre going for (following sikhi)

THATS what i meant..

i did NOT mean that she would go into sikhi just cuz she still wants to stay with this guy.

anyway..about the entire "new life" saying

its not to be taken so literally :|

if that was the case, too many ppl would be drinkin/out with a new partner every month or so/smokin up stuff etc ON PURPOSE before takin Amrit.

theyd simply say "i got a new life now so what i did before dont matter"

even IF they later on would be fully devoted to Sikhi and regret whatever they had done earlier, it dont cut it.

when you take Amrit, 'a new BEGINING' dont always mean 'a new life' ...it just means 'new chances'

peace...

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