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It's Hard To Find Females That Like Sikh Men


Guest _SINgh_
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think this point has been raised before on the forum, but nonetheless, I do agree with you about the fact that it is really hard to find Sikh women who are amritdharis, or practice sikhi by keeping uncut hair, etc.

.....

That game works both ways, its hard for not good looking sikh men to find a wife as well. Men are expected to be tall, handsome, have a good career etc ... You certainly seem convinced that only women have a hard time finding men. When in reality it works both ways.

Well I fit two of those three points. I just need to get a nice job to seal the deal. :s

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I went gurdwara yesterday after 7 years. I basically stopped going gurdwara when i was 14 cos werid things started to happen (random aunties I had never seen in my life would come up to me and ask me about rista and stuff, then I found the youth were fake too and they too had hidden agenda's.

I also got fed up with the way the gurdwara was run cos it seemed as if they cared only about money and numbers. Another thing was that at youth programmes I hate chips, beans and other junk food being served as langar. Nobody could be bothered to make sure there was one roti and dhaal for me..

Anyways I could live with this and I did until one day I realised that the people I thought were sikh were not. It was quite an amazing moment. I stood and literally thought omg these people are not even doing the basics of Sikhi yet they preach. I began to see this more as my kesh began to grow around puberty. I saw penji's wearing dastaar's, doing kirtan, people saying calling them chardi kala....but then they had threaded eyebrows, waxed upper lips. I thought to myself is this a sikh or simply a good singer who happens to wear a turban??

I began to see other things too...I asked myself if these people were being spat at, made homeless, living off tree bark would they still be Sikh....my answer was very clear. These people were situational sikhs. They liked the society respect sikhi gave them as opposed to being sikh themselves.

That day I left the gurdwara because there were no Sikhs in the Gurdwara. I went on my own journey to find sikh people. I did a lot of searching. I want to share something with the people who like me have thought these people are not sikhs and how it is better that you stay at home and follow sikhi.

It is to those brother and sisters that I would like to say that if we don't do something and if we don't share our knowledge then it is we who are making the gurdwara's gone forever. We shouldn't abandon these places but we should work to make them better.

Before I end it on this I want to describe to you all what had happened when I went gurdwara yday after 7 yrs. I learnt nothing. I actually saw the same things as 7 yrs ago. Dastaar penji's coming in wearing loadsa kara's along with a waxed face, shaped eyebrows and a kirpan. This time I strangley felt liberated. I no longer blamed them but I blamed myself and people like me for not taking leadership. Yesterday after 7 yrs I redefined my definition of politics to a positive one.

A 5 sentance katha which I would like to share as further food for thought. Guru Guru Nanak Dev Ji had a wooden pot. He threw this pot into the mud and asked Guru Angad Dev Ji to get it out of the mud without getting his clothes muddy. Guru Angad Dev Ji tried but when Guru Angad Dev Ji came out his clothes were muddy and so was the clean pot. It was then that Guru Angad Dev Ji asked Guru Nanak Dev Ji to explain.

Guru Nanak Dev Ji replied. Consider the pot as the human soul. It is clean at first just like the pot was clean. In the world it gets muddy. If no one saves this pot it will stay muddy. You saved it but not without getting exposed to the same mud....ie it is inevitable you will have to see sights you wish not to know about.

Likewise many of us shun the gurdwara, we don't want to know the corruption, we don't want to burden ourselves. But without being there and wanting to change that environment we are not doing anything positive. I may never learn anything from the Gurdwara but rather than wanting to take I should give. And like the pot story we it will never be an easy ride but we have to get involved in the commitee, we have to get involved in running things. we have to get involved in politics.

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    • you wrote a whole lot but told us nothing. what exactly did you do wrong to make you feel this way?
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