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Relationship ...ashamed


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Yes Love is a pure feeling .. it could be expressed by hugging..kissing ... i won't say whtelse .. lets not tarnish love by calling it lust : )
That exactly was my point. One doesn't have to express love in a lustful way. It is improper for a GurSikh to have any physical relationship (not just sexual, but even kissing included) with anyone besides his/her spouse. If someone thinks "Kissing is no big deal, atleast I am not having sex", well sorry, but you are on the road to ending up at that stage.
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Sorry guys- but pre marriage RELATIONSHIPS are NOT Bujjer kurehit.

Sorry to blow your bubble; but NONE of the Maryadas list "pre marriage relationship" as a BUJJER KUREHIT.

They all mention pre marriage SEX - SEX outside of marriage -

Damdami Taksal Maryada:

http://damdamitaksaal.net/index.php?option...p;limitstart=15

Panth Parvan Rehit Maryada:

http://sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_six.html

Although Damdamitaksal is a bit fussy over dating - they do put much emphasis on the fact that it’s SEXUAL relationships that are forbidden…

Penji Tarrandeep Kaur Ji; please tell us where does Guru Ji or ANY rehitmarayda require peshi for a pre marriage RELATIONSHIP (without any sex.) There are none. They all prohibit premarriage SEXUAL relationships/adultery.

Penji "forgive_me"; you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong. Keep move on from what has happened. And try to always progress on the path of the Guru.

God bless :@

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'V'

quite simple my panj paiyre told me; 'no relationships with opp gender before marriage'

if she kissed someone you think its ok, how far can one go without actually commiting the bujjar kurehit of having sex before marriage, then saying its ok bcos they didnt go the whole way.

kissing someone, is crossing the line. she didnt treat the boy like her brother.

i didnt say it was a bajjar kurehit, i said 'kurehit' i thik theres a difference.

like i said before, maybe she doesnt HAVE to go, but it will only do her GOOD if she goes, so we shouldnt discourage her from going. she was the one who suggested it in the first place.

again its always the boys who contribute to these topics, and say 'oh dont worry about it carry on' :@

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Waheguru jee ka Khalsa!!!! Waheguru jee kee Fateh!!!!

Bhenjee :

Guru jee says "Bhuleh underh sub ko abhuleh guru kartar" arth is that "everyone makes mistakes..the only ones that are free from blemish and mistakes are guru (guru nanak) and kartar (waheguru )..... it is through mistakes that each individual grows morally and spiritually... sometimes we can circumvent the mistakes by taking example put forth by guru and gursikh.

Bhenjee liking someone of the opposite gender is law of nature and waheguru.... but we need to draw lines in sikhi... a gurmukh male is supposes to see all women as his sisters, daughters, and mothers... gurmukh female is to see all males as her brother, sons, and fathers..... in both these circumstances there is an exception of girsti jeevan - a jeevan of married couple.... guru jee says that honor of girst (married) jeevan is of the highest level. an interesting fact that is that if a girst person does 1 hour of simran it is equivlent to 10 hours of simran by a non-married person.. This is value guru jee puts on a grist jeevan...

There is also a difference in liking someone physically and liking someone gursiki jeevan the spiritual aspect of someone life...having a respect for someones spiritual jeevan and connecting with someones jeevan that betters both parties is not a sin or paap... The definition of a gurmukh is someone who mind's horse is ruled by guru........... As gurmukh gursikh we should refrain from entering pre-marital physical relationship with anyone as it will take you away from the connection to waheguru..

We can not call ourselves gurmukh if we engage in munmukh activites.... waheguru doesnot judge us by our mistakes... and forgives us more readly than we forgive ourselves... remember if someone who is lost comes home ... he/she is not considered lost anymore .... bring your jeevan to a level that people see guru within yourself and live up to the jeevan of gursikhs and gurus.... anyone who has done amrit holds special responsibilities as their roop-physical characteristics is of dassam pita jee... guru jee states "Khalsa mero roop ha Khas... Khalsa meh hoo karo nivas"...arth that "Khalsa is my own physical being....for i dwell in khalsa".... we should try not to tarnish guru jees roop in any way....

i remember a sakhi/story that a katha vachic was telling of the jeevan of guru gobind singh jee..... guru jee was visiting a pind with his jatha of sikhs.... and guru jee would get sikhs and sangat come to visit him... and in the sangat a young women sat listening to the kirtan and when the kirtan ended guru jee went to his tent with other sevadar to rest.... a small group of people came to talk to guru jee in the tent ... and the young women came quietly with the group and waited till all the sangat had their conversation with guru jee.... when it was her turn to ask guru jee for a varh-blessing... she requested that all the sevadar leave because what her request was somewhat embarrassing so guru jee requested them to wait outside... guru jee asked what is your request.... while guru jee finished his sentence the young woman removed her kameej and said my request is that you give me a son like you... if you dont grant me my request i will yell and let everyone know.. of the removal of my clothes... it was apparrent that the woman came with kamina - lust (one of the five evils)....... guru jee smiled and placed his head on her chest... and guru jee said i will grant you your request from now on you will be my mother and i will be your son ...i will be your son because there is no one exactly the same as me.... guru jee change her kamina-lust into mumta - a maternal lust... guru jee by example shows us how to win the five evils ....

Bhenjee guru jee forgave you the minute you recognised your error... i think its time you forgave yourself...i hope this helps you ... in your journey to gursikhi jeevan.... if i have made any mistakes in what i have wrote ... guru and gursangat baksh deveh ... bhule chuk maaf......... Guru Fateh parvan karneh

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'V'

quite simple my panj paiyre told me; 'no relationships with opp gender before marriage'

if she kissed someone you think its ok, how far can one go without actually commiting the bujjar kurehit of having sex before marriage, then saying its ok bcos they didnt go the whole way.

kissing someone, is crossing the line. she didnt treat the boy like her brother.

i didnt say it was a bajjar kurehit, i said 'kurehit' i thik theres a difference.

ok so which kurehit is it? cut hair, eat kutha, sex out of marriage or smoking?

I kiss my sister.. man it seems like my status is getting form bad to worse! nahi!

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ewww stop being such a gora by kissing ure sister!! Jeez....the adopt good habits of the other culture not bad ones. Anyways with the original poster the kissing intent was different. I wud agree with Tarandeep Bhenji and kaur93.

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