Bullying

[Dhillion09]

Hello Sangat,

I was just wondering how a young sikh girl like me should deal with being bullied.

I was bullied at school, i had rumours spread about me and had some good friends tell lies and horrible things about me to everyone. One of my good friends started to tell all of her friends things about me, in turn they and other girls were nasty to me, once i saw them laughing at me and lots of people have told me that they called me ugly. They gave me nasty looks, made nasty comments and generally made me feel terrible.

This particular friend, she has many young sikh male friends and she went as far as telling them things about me, just because they were sikh and she was hoping they'd know me from going to the same gurdwara. She told them very personal things, like, how i had to see a therapist and i had to take medication and i know they were all probably laughing at me. Inside my own Gurdwara. I'm scared to go there just incase i see them.

I have never fully recovered from my experience of being bullied. Im very afraid of these types of people, especially girls. Sometimes i feel really helpless and i know its wrong to feel this way and sometimes i feel angry, which is also wrong. I really want know how i can deal with this.

Can anyone shed any light on some sikhi views on this, maybe something i can read that will make me feel happy.

Thank you everyone

[Seeking_Sikhi]

Go to the Gurudwara and perform keertan straight from your heart .. don't think about anything else or may be about who is watching you.. you are going there to see the guru and seek his blessings. Do keertan with a pure heart and may Waheguru bless you !

[Singhson]

Don't let them get the better of you. Stick up for yourself and show them that you're better than them!

They are the insecure ones so don't worry about it. Why are you scared to go the Gurdwara? You should feel most comfortable there in the presence of Guru Ji!

Your so called 'friends' sound very immature to me. Seriously, you call yourself a Dhillon and you're letting them be like that to you?! This is coming from a fellow Dhillon

Have you told your parents?

[Seeking_Sikhi]

Why are you scared to go the Gurdwara? You should feel most comfortable there in the presence of Guru Ji!

i agree to :whs:

[vikramjitsingh]

Fateh Ji,

Came across this on the Net:

Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me.Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant.Slander is my father, slander is my mother.If I am slandered, I go to heaven;the wealth of the Lord's Naam abides within my mind........The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across (Ang 339).

Bhagat Kabir Sahib had a jealous neighbour, whose only pastime was slandering (Nindaa) Kabir Sahib; day in and day out. One day this foolish man died. People thought that the news of this man's death might make Kabir Sahib very happy. To the contrary, when Kabir Sahib found out about it, he became very sad. His devotees naturally inquired as to why he was sad instead of being happy. Kabir Sahib said " the reason I feel sad, now as my slanderer is gone, who will wash my sins off and take upon himself". The Gurbani (Sri Guru Granth Sahib, SGGS) declares that there are countless such slanderers (Nindak).

Guru Rakha

[mskcan]

Dear Ji,

Those individuals who do your Ninda, are washing your Karmas away

Your suffering, is created, by the belief that you are unattached

Unattached to whom? The Spirit within You

Self Empowerment is the path to re-connecting with that Spirit

Empower yourself in mind, body, and spirit and this will wash off of you as well

Focus on your studies, keep your head up, Meditate to release the pain, and strengthen the physical body... All these things are the prescription to a fearless life, fearless qualities

Read the stories of Bhagat Kabeer Ji, Bhagat Fareed Ji, Bhagat Namdev Ji, Guru Amar Dass Ji..

See how they faced averse situations, and respond in such a manner...

Fateh

[naujawanidotcom]

Unfortunately my dear, you will find this happening all too often as you get older. It happens to us all, myself even today. When you are the victim of it at a younger age, as is the case with you, it can seem like the end of the world or totally unjust. It might very well be unjust, but it is not as bad as it seems. Time is the greatest healer of all and as you are young and relatively inexperienced you will have to take my word for it, but in the long run, this incident is just small talk. It can take a stranglehold over you if you allow the feelings of fear and hurt to fester; they might develop and affect you. But that is true of everything that happens to us throughout our lives.

Obviously you should speak to somebody about this, perhaps somebody at your Gurdwara or a family member who you respect; personally i'd suggest a child support group like Childline. But as you've asked for assistance from a Sikh point of view, might I suggest that you take some time to contemplate and reflect alone when everybody else in your house is asleep. I can't suggest anything else to read because different people like different things! But if you take some time to think and perhaps concentrate on either the word Vaheguru, the mool mantar, an image of Guru Nanak or whatever else it takes to focus your mind, rid it of all secondary thoughts, you will find that you are at least a little calmer. That being said, you will still be irritated and even a little anxious of these people, but in time all will be better. I promise.

There are 3 things that cannot be returned once they are done: time spent, an arrow struck & words spoken. Why dwell on something that cannot be revoked? As somebody earlier said (I know it's easy to say, hard to do) ...you are a Dhillon! Those other chumps aren't worth what you are.

[newsingh2009]

Hey penji, i feel your pain and can relate because someone close to me went through the same thing...

Like many people have said what these girls are doing is throwing themselves in trouble, they just don't realise. Remember, the more and more they insult you, the worse things are gonna happen in their lives, this is not a figure of speech, its the law of the universe. Almost 10 years after, the girls who used to bully my sister have steeped extremely low and to the extent I feel like praying for them...

Reason they are bullying you? believe it or not, they are jealous of you... that's the reason for nindya, they are unhappy with themselves and they think that by destroying your status they will feel better and they do for a small amount of time, what they don't know is karma is doing its job and unfortunately they will have to pay for what they have done..

That aside, what can you do? My technique when I was younger? TALK TO GOD!!! Talk to Waheguru when you are about to sleep, tell him how you fell, tell him what you want sorted, this probably sounds silly to you, but believe me things will change just by taking on God as your help. It's not going to work if you talk on some imaginery level.. you need to talk to waheguru like he is your best friend. talk to him the way you talk to your best friends, in fact you can even go more personal because unlike your friends, waheguru WILL NEVER TURN HIS BACK ON YOU!! and he is only here to help you through difficult times and is willing to take care of all your problems if you let him and TELL HIM!! "Angeekaro karay thayra karaj sabna savaarna"

Recite this shabad from the bottom of your heart and mean it, as many times as you can!!!

http://fateh.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_1423.html

Lastly, im going to tell you something on a personal level. Your mind creates your destiny! So when you are thinking about negative things, about these girls who are insulting you, you are going to ATTRACT MORE AND MORE OF IT!! Guruji says the sick and weak live in a negative world and the positve live in a positive world. it is the law of attraction and if you have time, watch the movie "The secret" here is the first 20 mins:

If you want the full movie, message me and I will send you the link. (Same for anyone else).

Who cares what your friends have said?? They can spread rumours, let them!!! Shall I tell you what will annoy them and ruin their lives even more? IF THEY SEE YOU HAPPY!!! Don't let them get the better of you, they want to see you get depressed and lonely! DONT LET THEM!! Be happy, be free and think to yourself, who cares what they think!! This is also a good time to make new friends! my advice? Try to stay away from punjabi crowd, this new generation have a jealousy problem and an ego problem. Find different cultured friends, talk to strangers and make new friends.

You see waheguru has given you this "bullying" so that you improve yourself, become stronger, get more friends and be happy! Dukh dharu Sukh Rog pya!

If waheguru is on your side, these people cannot touch you, they are ruining their lives and destroying their future by insulting you!!

Good luck and don't worry because tables are about to turn!! And you have God on your side.. they have no one!!

[Harsimrat Singh]

Can anyone shed any light on some sikhi views on this, maybe something i can read that will make me feel happy.

Thank you everyone

I do not know how experienced you are with bani, (and will not assume) but Chaupai Sahib can be really good! or Sukhmani Sahib (longer) very good to help make you feel more happy... but try to do it without seeking a reward as Paat isn't done for our benefits, but for the praise of Vaheguru (God) and in accordance, Vaheguru will bless you.

Hope it clears up!!

Vaheguru!

[Surinderjit]

Hey penji, i feel your pain and can relate because someone close to me went through the same thing...

Like many people have said what these girls are doing is throwing themselves in trouble, they just don't realise. Remember, the more and more they insult you, the worse things are gonna happen in their lives, this is not a figure of speech, its the law of the universe. Almost 10 years after, the girls who used to bully my sister have steeped extremely low and to the extent I feel like praying for them...

Reason they are bullying you? believe it or not, they are jealous of you... that's the reason for nindya, they are unhappy with themselves and they think that by destroying your status they will feel better and they do for a small amount of time, what they don't know is karma is doing its job and unfortunately they will have to pay for what they have done..

That aside, what can you do? My technique when I was younger? TALK TO GOD!!! Talk to Waheguru when you are about to sleep, tell him how you fell, tell him what you want sorted, this probably sounds silly to you, but believe me things will change just by taking on God as your help. It's not going to work if you talk on some imaginery level.. you need to talk to waheguru like he is your best friend. talk to him the way you talk to your best friends, in fact you can even go more personal because unlike your friends, waheguru WILL NEVER TURN HIS BACK ON YOU!! and he is only here to help you through difficult times and is willing to take care of all your problems if you let him and TELL HIM!! "Angeekaro karay thayra karaj sabna savaarna"

Recite this shabad from the bottom of your heart and mean it, as many times as you can!!!

http://fateh.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_1423.html

Lastly, im going to tell you something on a personal level. Your mind creates your destiny! So when you are thinking about negative things, about these girls who are insulting you, you are going to ATTRACT MORE AND MORE OF IT!! Guruji says the sick and weak live in a negative world and the positve live in a positive world. it is the law of attraction and if you have time, watch the movie "The secret" here is the first 20 mins:

If you want the full movie, message me and I will send you the link. (Same for anyone else).

Who cares what your friends have said?? They can spread rumours, let them!!! Shall I tell you what will annoy them and ruin their lives even more? IF THEY SEE YOU HAPPY!!! Don't let them get the better of you, they want to see you get depressed and lonely! DONT LET THEM!! Be happy, be free and think to yourself, who cares what they think!! This is also a good time to make new friends! my advice? Try to stay away from punjabi crowd, this new generation have a jealousy problem and an ego problem. Find different cultured friends, talk to strangers and make new friends.

You see waheguru has given you this "bullying" so that you improve yourself, become stronger, get more friends and be happy! Dukh dharu Sukh Rog pya!

If waheguru is on your side, these people cannot touch you, they are ruining their lives and destroying their future by insulting you!!

Good luck and don't worry because tables are about to turn!! And you have God on your side.. they have no one!!

Ji-o,

DO NOt MIX WESTERN ALCHEMICAL AND SIRITUAL SYSTEMS WITH SIKHI.

The Law of attraction is a hermetic practice, ie. derived from hermes trimesgeus, who found the Emerald tablet.

It has nothing to do with Sikhi. Rather,has to do with hebrew Qabala, and christanity, and in cases, egyptian magick - ie. IAO.

wjkk, wjkf