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Girls 'Do' Go For Turbaned Males But Only Those Without Beards

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We are all familiar with how once in a while, a sad and depressed person brings up the topic of women not going for turbaned males. I have come to find that this is not always the case and as bad as it is sometimes made out to be. However, I think the issue should be renamed and be 'women dont go for bearded males'.

This is a big and really tough issue for a keshdhari like myself. I am not an amritdhari but I keep all my kesh including my beard. I have come to realise that there is hardly anyone who is willing to give keshdharis like me a chance. Amrtidhari women are out of the question as they are only allowed to marry a fellow amritdhari and they tend to go for them only as a result. I have seen friends, relatives, friends of friends, and my brother who are all turbaned but trim their beards get women interested in them so easily.

Women dont want to even give you a chance. Introductions for instance. When my mum talks to someone on the phone about introducing me and my brother to someones daughter, my brother gets a chance straight away but i never do because of my beard.

Its not that i'm too different to trimmers anyway, but the women assume your going to be really religious or something and they probably dont like the look too. What a sad state of affairs, men like me are being denied our manhood. The beard is a secondary male sex characterisitc and its nothing to do with being religious. Guess its kalyug afterall eh.

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well u know women, main vi hoo, teh baut fussy hoo, but dnt worry abt it, una de dhimak ch nauksh hai jeria nai interest kardia, maybe its not ur sanjog yet. but dnt take tension of it. theres lots of women that like men with beards, th ones that can be bothered to find out abt th guy and their personalities that go tht extra yard, and that one will come one day.

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Wjkk Wjkf veerjeo,

You have not kept Kes and beard out of love for Sri Guruji. For you, it is just a 'sex characteristic' as you put it. So you are hanging somewhere in the middle, clueless of which side you belong to. Bikers also keep long beards, hippies also keep long hair and untrimmed beards at times, then how are you any different from them lot? They do it for attracting others/looking 'good' etc. I feel you have identity crisis on your hands veerjeo, Sit down and evaluate your priorities. Think why exactly you want to have kes and beard? If after contemplation you feel you have got love for Sri Guruji in your heart, then do it for him. Be his dog, forget this sexuality hocus pocus and just let him manifest in you, Khalsa Mero Roop Hai khaas! The kind of supreme self-confidence you will get is beyond words. You will feel like the king of the world, and lowest of the low, both at the same time. The ultimate contentment is in knowing who You ARE, not what others WANT YOU to BE. You know? Apna Mool Pachaan,

If you still think that you dont feel this sort of love, then im afraid we are just like that donkey of kaljug carrying loads of weight on his head, driven by his master - maya and kaam and clueless where it is going.

Im really sorry for the harsh words veerji, but sometimes truth has to be put in black and white.

Sorry once again for hurting your feelings,


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If you believe in that, then you have created your own problem.

You attract what you inscribe on the core of your being. And this thought, and ultimately emotion and feelings about

this concept will constantly create barriers for you.

Chances are, you have been subconsciously conditioned to believe that it is more difficult to find a wife.

70% of our thoughts are negative, this is just another self limiting and defeating belief.

Change your Beliefs, and Change your Life.

That is the only way forward

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"Amrtidhari women are out of the question as they are only allowed to marry a fellow amritdhari and they tend to go for them only as a result. "

I believe you answered your own question. Anything stopping you from taking that step or following the path of Sikhism?

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I have to agree with mskcan. Think more positive about yourself, i haven't had problem with girls not liking me because of a dastaar and dari. If you have a personality that stinks and are always negative about yourself, then of course a girl wont like you.

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here we go again. You havin gurl problems son. I got 99 problems, but a gurl ain't one. I thought it would be good to bring a rappers prespective in, Jay z just solved your problem with one line. But had to clean up the language.

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here we go again. You havin gurl problems son. I got 99 problems, but a gurl ain't one. I thought it would be good to bring a rappers prespective in, Jay z just solved your problem with one line. But had to clean up the language.





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I agree with PJS veerji. You gotta pick your side where you belong.

right now, you are like dhobi da <banned word filter activated> na ghar da na ghat da.

And to tell you from reality, I went for my husband, having full kesh, curled DhaRi which still looks the same today after no. of years. No change in him. And I was lot less religious at that time when I met him.

And you don't need any girl's approval to be what you are. If a particular girl doesn't like you for what you are, that is not the girl to go for anyways.

But even before you shoot at girls for blaming for your ID issues, you gotta realize why are you keeping hair anyways?? In no way, I am suggesting to trim or cut, but I would want you to look deeper for answers, what's more important to you, any girl's approval or the Kesh? (Your guru's khushi, if you beleive in GuRu at all).

This post is not supposed to put you down or offend you, but to encourage you to look for answers from your within. There are answers inside you, you just didn't learn to talk to your own soul yet.

as PJS veerji quoted above

Man tu jot saroop hai, apna mool pachhan.

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Man, woman don't give you a chance!!! It's the other way around, men don't give superficial woman a chance to get with them. They can smile in a true man's direction all they like, it won't move him at all.

You got no swagger man. Where is the confidence. The superficial woman that don't give you a chance are actually so low on codifence, it takes a second to break them. They put up a hard shell, but from inside they got nothing. But here they are making you sweat.

Either build false confidence, which these superficial woman have and you'll crack just like them in a second. Or build true confidence by reading Gurbani and being able to hold your head high because your Sikh, Singh.

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Also veerji remember that we should only be looking for one life partner. This is how I stop myself from thinking about looking more attractive. Just like you veerji I am also not an Amritdhari yet but I am trying to become Keshdhari first. And the way I stop myself from cutting my kes is thinking that what is the point of making yourself attractive to other people when the only person you should impress is Guru Ji. And if you have immense love for Guru Ji he will present to you a good wife who doesn't care about your appearance but your characteristics. Now I dont know why you havent taken amrit but seeing how you want to keep your kes shows that you have some love for Guru Ji. Oh and one more thing, this is what I think about when I am carried away by appearance sometimes.

"Jao tao parem khelan ka chao, Sir dhar tali gali meri aaou, it marag pair dharijai, Sir dijai kan na kijai."

(If you desire to play this game of love with me, then step onto my path with your head in your hand, when you place your feet on this path, give me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion.) ----- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Ang 1412

Hope this helped

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Firstly I'd like to say Pjs veer ji had an awesome and true reply. Read it and follow what he has said.

What you say is true, the world is very superficial, but why should it matter to you? You should be happy that someone so superficial won't go for you. Alright, here's a twist of things and i'll tell you a story/show/movie I've heard of (i think it's from the twilight-zone). The story is of an alternate universe where everything is indeed backwards, white people were mainly slaves and all of the average beautiful standard that we live in is considered the exact opposite and vice versa.

These are all games of the mind, when you understand none of this matters. In the end your spirituality and chardi kaalaa (positive energy) is what brings you to God and real happiness soon follows.

A little bit about myself, I decided to keep kesh around a half of a year ago. In the past a few girls have liked me, but i never really cared nor did i feel the need to go out with anyone. When I told one of my friends that I was going to be keeping hair she replied, " are you going to be keeping a beard too?" I replied, " Yes, of course, why wouldn't I?" i kind of anticipated her reply at this point but she said "Oh, I don't really find beards to be attractive". Now you'd think I'd get depressed bla bla bla this and that because girls think like this, no it's not the case if you don't feel the need to seek out a girl or feel bad if someone thinks another way.

My advice to you is to use your energy and focus it on fitness. Singhs are lions and should be as fit as one, go running, biking, and/or weightlift at the gym. When I feel bored or when my mind starts to feel weary i just go biking or go to the gym. Another thing is keep on studying or make a career or professional goal in life and work towards it. May it be fitness or a job/university.

edit- As hkaurP stated you have to be beautiful inside and your beauty automatically starts showing outward. I also haven't taken amrit yet, but I hope to do so soon.

edit- Find something that you truly enjoy, something you enjoy to the fullest extent with no regret or guilt. Once you do this your attitude about life will start changing automatically. Each person has his or her own preferred activities, find your own!

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geez y make judgement saying "u can chose to look good or love for ur guru?" having kes and beard makes u look bad???? who said dat?

Be a man, dont follow the world, let the world follow u.

hmm let me tell u a story, a real story !

There was dis guy, who had kes and beard and this white lady fell in love with him and she used to come and meet him everyday, one day she came and saw him and walked away and guy asked her? why did u walk away? i changed myself for u (he cut his kes and beard), she replied "when i first saw u, i used to see Jesus in u", but now u look just like everyone else.

Many ppl i know, get offended, when someone calls them "SARDAR", they tend to annoy and angry, but may i ask y? what is wrong with being a Sardar? in olden days Sardar term was only used for leaders and stuff and only king used to wear crown and our Guru ji have given that royality to us.

if u dont take pride in being a sikh, then u need to think and make a choice

Sorry if i have offended u bro!, but just take pride in what u are and if u do take pride in being a singh, then dont let anyone command u !

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i totally agree with pjs veerji's reply and LSB's reply as well

look for the inner you why do you keep your kes?? do u keep it for your guru or do you keep it just to look good for the ladies...

just because you keep your kes doenst mean ur any different from the world, one thing for sure has there been any bhagat or religious leader who did not keep his hair?? i believe to know that all have kept there hair and just because today you dont see many people doing that doesnt mean its wrong to keep kes ...as some hae said before if anyone (a girl, a friend, etc.) if anyone has a problem with you being who YOU are than that person isnt worth associating with, like personally i have been made fun of for not having many friends like other non-amritdhari sikhs just because of my dastaar, but to tell you the truth those few friends thati do have, are the most understanding people in my life, if they go to parties or stuff, they already know i will not go without me even having to tell them, but they still invite me anyways just to not be left out of the situation. point is if the girls ur being introduced to arent giving you a chance just because of your kes, its not the end of the world one day there willbe someone, and dont underestimate yourself because that will only make situations worse for you.

sorry if anything i said was wrong, but only thats just what i think

as lsb said take pride in who you are dont become like others :)

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I dont keep it because its a sex characteristic. I was illustrating the point that it is natural and part of nature and how nature (women preferring the beard) is not working in this dark age. I keep it because our Guru told us too. How can u say i dont love the guru. I may not love him alot, but at least I have respect for the teachings.


Obviously i am not keeping it for the ladies, as that is the very thing i feel pushes them away.


Even though this may be a negative belief, it is based on fact. Its not a matter of going to see women, I have a cup of coffee then it dont work out and i blame the beard. Its the fact that they dont even give you a chance even when they have not seen or talked to you (introduction example over the phone). Its increasingly the case.

I do lack true love for the Guru, but that is not the point here, I was simply stating that many many women dont like the beard and its a fact.

I am too low, undedicated and lazy to take amrit. I dont even know punjabi. I cant even hold a conversation in punjabi. I know, i wear a turban and sport a beard and cant speak punjabi, that sounds funny.

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