Big Problem

[Wales85]

My wife lately has been telling me she wants to be catholic. She says the sikh community will never be accepting and she doesn't want to deal with it or have our children deal with it. Her cousin who visited recently also recommended that we go to church. I have tried to stay chardi kala, but I am at a loss. I know that God will accept my actions no matter what religion I am, but I love the gurus teachings so much and I want it to be the foundation I build my family around. I realize that much of the punjabi community doesn't always put them into practice, but that is true of every religion.

I think what she wants is community, which we could instantly have if we went to church, but what I want is something true to build my life on. This is such a frustrating situation and I am honestly getting a little fatigued with it. It now appears it would make everyone happy if I was to become catholic again, but I just don't believe it. I really don't know how it came to this, and I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever been in a situation similar to this at all?

[guptkuri]

Veer Ji, I have never been through such a thing but the only thing I can think of in this case is 3ho sikhs? Since they are quite a diversity, your wife would have community and you still have Sikhi. I can't think of anything else, right off the bat.

[ThunderousDominator]

Theres only one God it doesnt matter if you pray to God as a catholic or as a sikh

[Mehtab Singh]

Brother Wales, coming from a non-Sikh background myself, I can tell you one thing. There will always be Sikhs who accept you, always those who suspect you. There will always be Catholics who respect your choice to be a Sikh, and those who hate you for giving up on Catholicism. The question to you is "Are you ready for it?"

And I am not sure if I would recommend 3HO, although something is definitely better than nothing.

[KhalistaniGunMan]

Brother i can say personally my desicion to become a singh has never really been accepted by family, you see my family even though they claim they are sikh are from a communist upbringing. My great grandfathers, grandfather, and my father are all communist. Their millitant atheism has always made difficulties in my sikhi, but i get through it because my faith is strong enough to keep me going. Brother for you to get through your problems you have to be strong and if you had any real faith sikhi you will continue on this path. I disagree with you on the community issue, we have an amazing community...THE GURSIKH COMMUNITY...they will accept you regardless of your differences...And lastly penji (your wife) wishes to become catholic because of the community factor...that sounds very childish...you cannot pick and choose religion like its a toy...real faith is a gift given by god..it is not manafactured...if she has no love and faith in catholicism then its pointless joining their congregation....when i chose to follow sikhi i knew beforehand that the leadership and organisation amongst the panth was horrendous, but if you have real love for this path no problem however big or small can deter you....SO I SAY TO YOU BROTHER....IF YOUR LOVE FOR SIKHI WAS LEGITIMATE THEN YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE...IF IT WAS NOT THEN GOOD LUCK TO YOU WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE....

[VanHelsingh]

Of all the other faiths, Catholicism is the one that appeals to the missus? Really?!? If she want's community, join a ladies group or something similar.

Don't let (some of) the followers of Sikhi put you off from the faith. We (the people born into the Sikh faith) are not the adherents that Sikhi deserves. I put myself in this group before anyone objects to my stance. Sikhi is too good for us. We are not good enough for Sikhi.

I'm not referring to the countless shaheeds, bhagats, holy sants and mahapursh or anything like that. I'm talking about the apathetic public. You and me - the majority.

But I completely understand your missus' misgivings. I look around my own life and also some of the opinions I read on this website, and I think to myself "What is the point?". Thankfully I manage to shake myself out of this unfortunate reverie before I get lost in it completely.

Anyway just have a word with her. You can't give up.

[clarity]

First of all communists hate sikhism with a vengeance we are the only religion that will stand between them and total control of the Sikh community particularly groups like the Indian workers association in London

All of the communists I have met are half mad control freaks and alcoholics to boot

Catholicism is a massive step back from sikhism although as a Sikh you are free to follow any religion

[West London Singh]

My wife lately has been telling me she wants to be catholic. She says the sikh community will never be accepting and she doesn't want to deal with it or have our children deal with it

Your wife wants to go from a religion that believes that she (as a woman) can be a religious 'priest' or anything else a man can if she wants to a religion 300 years behind us still refusing to acknowledge women human enough to become priests ? :o

Does she hate herself that much ?

And she wants her children to be in the hands of a religion that has itself acknowledged systematic sexual abuse of children.....with tacit approval and knowledge from the very top ? :o

Does she hate her own children that much ?

[Wales85]

Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I think I am going to try and find some social groups to get her involved with and see if the problem just disappears. I stay so busy I forget that she can get lonely, especially since she is so far removed from the huge desi community she grew up in. She is a good girl, but she is beginning to realize that my skin color makes that old type of community hard to get out here.

3HO is not an option for me, I have serious problems with it and I will leave it at that.

I was raised in the church, and it really isn't all bad. It has some problems, but I still think it does more good than almost any organization in the world. The problem is that I just don't believe in its tenets. Catholicism ask you to believe a whole slew of things... Sikhism ask you to believe in one God, working hard, and sharing with the less fortunate. I also do have problems with the sex abuse scandal, its pretty horrific, but some of the most Godly men I have ever known have been priest.

I will stay the course, and I fill find a way to help her. Its kind of my duty as her husband.

Thanks everyone!

Fateh!

[Singh559]

Good luck veerji, you seem to be fairly knowledgeable about Sikhi, could you say the same about your wife? If not, maybe you should sit and talk about how you feel.

Bana bani sewa simran and shaster are our tools that will help Sikhs throughout the ages. Even slight knowledge of weapons is always good because in a world with a human population approaching 7 billion you never truly know what may happen tomorrow.

If there isn't a Sikh community around you, maybe you could create one and build what you want for your kids. In the end what really matters is what you think will be best for the kids, multiculturalism and being bilingual really opens up some very good doors around the world.

Whatever you choose stay in chardi kalaa and good luck.