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Amritdhari Love Marriage


SinghniKaur
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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!!

I am 19 years old. I am a Amritdhari for now 3 years. Well, I don't really know if this is a problem but I'm going to see what the sangat have to say to this.

So, where shall I start...

I love this boy and he is Amritdhari and he loves me too. The difference between me and him is that he is now 24. Been with him for 3 years now and me and him are quiet serious now.

Meaning me and want to get married. We havent got up to anything rude, for example: sex.

So, basically the boy that I want to get married to is from a different caste than me. We both in person have disowned it and we always tell everyone that we are Sikhs and our last names are SINGH & KAUR.

The issue is that, my parents are very attached to the caste system. I have been having discussions/arguements/fights with them for the past 4 years of my life.

They are like "that we are going to get you married in the same caste as us even if he is Amritdhari!"

I do not know how to tell my parents that I am in love with him and I can not live without him. And I am very, very serious about him.

The boy wants to come to my house and ask my parents for my hand. But, I can not let him in the house without telling my parents that I want to introduce you with a boy I am serious with.

I don't want to leave him, this would be the last thing I would do. & if I have to I would run away, but this is also I would do as a last option.

So, I am stuck!

I don't know what to do!

Please help your sister, Sangat Ji!

Bhul Chuk Marf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa!! Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!!

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bhagat tulsi daas a famous saint and writer of Ramayan was in deep love with his wife - she said to him if you could only love God this much you would obtain him - this changed his life and he became a saint

can people stop posting their love problems on this forum we are not here as love/sex therapists....the simple answer to this is that the girl speaks to her mom about her feelings and sort it out within the family and elders in the community, go see Bhai Sahib Mohinder Singh Ji..this is a wrong place to talk, personally i think the both of you are too young to get married and are under the influence of your sexual desires.

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Makes me so angry and sad.

If your parents tell you from a young age then whether you agree with their views or not, ragardless, you should follow what they say. Truth of the matter is that its all good saying youv'e forgotten caste but dont ever use religion as an excuse to go against ur parents wishes. You're not helping your sikhi by marrying your bf just because hes from another caste, and your not hurtning your sikhi if you marry according to your parents wishes even if boys same caste. I here all too often that. 'oh my parents are wrong, theyr going against sikhi and thats why im sticking to marrying so and so' The truth is that if your parents stood another singh/singhni from a different caste infront of you, you would still have an objection...all you want is to marry your bg/gf...its wrong and such relationships should not have been started in the first place. ...you say youve been arguing with your parents for 4 years, yet youve only been with this guy for 3? So you directly, conciously disrespected their request to you.

This topic is gettin ridiculous and way too common with gursikh youth today. Sikhi does not condone going against the wishes of your parents on a matter that does not affect your sikhi.

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Guest Sikh o it

Can people on this forum not grow up their are people that need honest help and having a go at them Isnt reallly a good example of you being sikh is it. ? People will be people and do tings who are you all to judge? Be proper sikhs and now help . If someon was drowning would you have a go at them just because they might have jumped in themsel or would you help? Grow up an smell what you shovellin!

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Makes me so angry and sad.

If your parents tell you from a young age then whether you agree with their views or not, ragardless, you should follow what they say. Truth of the matter is that its all good saying youv'e forgotten caste but dont ever use religion as an excuse to go against ur parents wishes. You're not helping your sikhi by marrying your bf just because hes from another caste, and your not hurtning your sikhi if you marry according to your parents wishes even if boys same caste. I here all too often that. 'oh my parents are wrong, theyr going against sikhi and thats why im sticking to marrying so and so' The truth is that if your parents stood another singh/singhni from a different caste infront of you, you would still have an objection...all you want is to marry your bg/gf...its wrong and such relationships should not have been started in the first place. ...you say youve been arguing with your parents for 4 years, yet youve only been with this guy for 3? So you directly, conciously disrespected their request to you.

This topic is gettin ridiculous and way too common with gursikh youth today. Sikhi does not condone going against the wishes of your parents on a matter that does not affect your sikhi.

I'll have to agree with this.

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certain inter-caste marriages happen as people think its best for the individual's concerned and in others it is devastating,,depends what your situation is if both are high caste's it tends to still be okay but if a high caste marries a low caste then it is seen as bad even though both parties are amritdhari - i think you need to talk openly with your mom/dad and get some respectable advice from elders in the sikh community

BUT I AGREE WITH ALL THE POST SO FAR THERE IS TOO MUCH MINGLING OF AMRITDHARII YOUTH PARTICULARLY I HAVE SEEN THIS WITHIN THE AKJ...... BOTH GENDERS NEED TO STAY WITHIN MARYADA

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