Hey bro, by Vaheguru ji kirpa you are doing incredibly well. You received Amrit at young age, and from Sri Anandpur Sahib, wow that’s awesome! Amrit doesn’t ‘break’.
All young people are the same, kaam is strong at that age. As for feeling down, honestly every person in this world is miserable and down.
Life is harsh and unpredictable. Death doesn’t always come in old age it can come at any time. Daas is not from any Sikhi background at all. My younger brother passed when I was 9, that’s what started spiritual curiosity. Religion is a game, spiritually is something different. Maybe life has to be unduly cruel to show you deeper things.
The purpose of human life was to merge back with Vaheguru. Kulyug, maya, 5 vikaar are absolute snakes which wrapped themselves around people to distract them of that purpose. Bro Vaheguru expressed his love towards you by arranging you meet Satguru ji. Now you gotta take strength and fight. Your strength will come from gurbani, sangat, seva, simran, keertan, katha. Sikhi history will give strength too.
Guru Sahib Ji loves you so much, he sacrificed his chaar sahibzade for YOU. Focus on your relationship with Guru Sahib Ji. Love him back and trust him. ❤️
No your amrit has not "broken" if you haven't committed any of kurehit of tann, physically. You mention kaam and mann, so I assume it is chetvan kaam. Worst you can get is a tankhah from panj piare otherwise. Biggest influence on your mann will be sangat around you, be sure to filter through your sangat and environment. Keep your head up Singh.
So I am 16 and was blessed with khande di pauhl exactly 1.5 months ago at anandpur sahib. Before that, I practiced everything a khalsa would do. nitnem, chastity, naam abhyas, etc.
I have a pretty good image in public and people. Before, i felt like guru is very much near me, but now I feel like i am being seperated from him. I still do nitnem but i really want to defeat kaam and other evils. I read other threads but I feel like this is the only option left. I quit social media for 6 months but now my manmukh mind is back at it. I have committed no kurehit.
Please tell me my amrit is not broken.