Diary Of Sikh Woman: Why I Cannot Get Married

[Questioner 232]

no one said to u to keep your facial hair, kes mean's hair on the head- amritdhari women everywhere know this. Sometimes u have to intuitively understand what the Gurus were trying to say instead of taking the twisted translations as law.

excessive facial hair on women is unnatural. in no picture or painting of the gurus time are women shown with facial hair. don't waste ur life on doing things that will only lead u to be insecure and angry.

There are many things wrong with this comment, but I just have to point out that the OP has clearly stated that she likes her hair and wanted to keep it. She said she accepts herself and feels free. Your comments about what is "unnatural" or whether she (or, actuallyy, all women - thanks for that) should keep her hair are totally irrelevant... did you even read her post?

[MisterrSingh 4,706]

I also want to take the opportunity to explain something which changed my outlook to life and enabled me to understand Sikhism. There is a famous experiment on animal conditioning by a scientist called Pavlov. He wanted to see if he could change behaviour through conditioning. His most famous experiment is on dogs. He gave the dog food and the dog produced saliva. His question was could I get the dog to have saliva without food? Ie condition the dog falsely. He succeeded in doing this - he started ringing a bell and then giving the dog food and eventually the dog produced saliva without no food: he found that he could ring the bell and there would be saliva even if there was no food. In summary food = saliva was changed to bell = saliva.

So why exactly do you wish to marry someone who you equate to something as simplistic as an animal? So it's a case of, "I'll marry you, but by God, I'm not happy about the circumstances in which I'm marrying you."

I won't pretend to know how difficult your life has been, but if you want peace, then you need to relinquish your anger, because it's practically imbued in every word you write. If I can sense it without having met you I dread to think what vibes you're giving potential suitors when you meet them. Either way, good luck.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

no one said to u to keep your facial hair, kes mean's hair on the head- amritdhari women everywhere know this. Sometimes u have to intuitively understand what the Gurus were trying to say instead of taking the twisted translations as law.

excessive facial hair on women is unnatural. in no picture or painting of the gurus time are women shown with facial hair. don't waste ur life on doing things that will only lead u to be insecure and angry.

Are you telling me that you don't grow upper lip hair, eyebrow hair, side hair and chin hair? Every woman grows face hair and that is what females naturally look like even though the world is in denial of that truth. If women don't grow facial hair worldwide then please explain all these videos on you tube about how to remove facial hair. Please note that these are women of different races and ethnicities.

Here are the videos

Video -

Video -

Video -

Video -

The next thing people will say is that females don't grow armpit hair and those who do grow it are unnatural and have hormonal imbalance.... Do you know not a very long time ago women did not shave or wax or remove hair. Then came a company called Gillette and they have become multi-billionaires by convincing people that they need to remove hair and having bodily hair is abnormal when the truth is that it isn't but now everyone has been conditioned and it has become socially unacceptable.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

in no picture or painting of the gurus time are women shown with facial hair.

Paintings are made by humans and humans are not very good at painting accurately. I will give you a very good example of paintings not representing the truth by using Maharaja Ranjit Singh as an example. Maharajah Ranjit Singh was blind in one eye and had scarring from small pox. He asked a painter to paint him and the painter drew him as a strong tall ruler with full vision in both eyes. Maharajah Ranjit Singh refused to accept this painting and asked to be drawn blind with small pox because he wanted to set an example that you can achieve despite having disease and he wanted his citizens to know the real him.

But recently Maharajah Ranjit Singh's paintings have been modified to look like the link below where they have got rid of his small pox and blindness. This is not what he wanted and just because he is not blind in this painting it does not mean it is accurate. Similarly maybe they never drew hair for various reasons, regardless it doesn't mean painting = truth.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Profitoftruth85/ranjitsingh#/media/File:RanjitSingh_by_ManuSaluja.jpg

[Guest Sikh Woman]

So why exactly do you wish to marry someone who you equate to something as simplistic as an animal?

You are mistaking the experiment on dogs to interpret that I am referring to Singhs as animals. I am explaining how we as humans think and why people react in a certain way either due to true or false conditioning and this is backed by science hence why I mentioned the experiment.

If you get the chance please look up human psychology. The experiment on dogs is the basis of human psychology, conditioning and behaviour. I fully believe that human beings must understand how we have conditioned ourselves consciously and unconsciously and we should not simply accept things as being right or normal just because they were presented to us in that way.

Here is a good link on human psychology and behaviour - http://www.simplypsychology.org/classical-conditioning.html

if you want peace, then you need to relinquish your anger, because it's practically imbued in every word you write. If I can sense it without having met you I dread to think what vibes you're giving potential suitors when you meet them

I am vocal about it but I don't have anger. Perhaps being vocal means I am labelled as being 'angry'. I accept people may feel uncomfortable but thats not a good enough reason to not discuss a issue. Its no different from someone speaking about another issue such as female infanticide or farmer suicide in panjab. They are not labelled as being angry if they express double standards - similarly I don't see why I should be labelled as being angry on sharing this issue.

I won't pretend to know how difficult your life has been

My life has not been difficult at all - I have a great top ranking professional career. I think its an assumption that life must be terrible because I kept hair. I am not sure what length or type of hair people imagine - I have the same amount of hair as other woman. In fact I didn't think it was a big deal until I had to get married - hence this post because there are double standards in the sikh community.

Some people as illustrated on this thread don't even admit that females grow face hair or that it is a requirement that amrtidharis should keep bodily hair including facial hair. Apparently only head hair should be kept which may explain why amritdhari singhnis wax upper lip, do eyebrows etc. However in Sikhism it is very clear that no bodily hair should be removed and because we live in a culture where it is 'norm' to remove hair - men think females with hair are abnormal and females will remove hair because they are brainwashed to think they are hairy, ugly etc. I disagree and think its nonsense. All women whether they admit it or do not admit it have facial hair and in my opinion nothing is wrong or abnormal with facial hair.

[Sikhistan 252]

I thibk sometime people do not realize that it can something else other than what they think. Sadly, instead of realizing that its actually their nature and attitude but not sikhi. Due to their manmat they dont find fault in themself but instead throw anything related to sikhi under the bus.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

So I have decided that I am going to keep my hair because I have the fundamental belief that this is what all woman look like and this is the truth BUT there is a problem with 'Sikh' boys as they are not fully accepting of a woman with hair.

In response SinghniMiriPiri about why not accept proposals on this thread - firstly someone saying 'I will accept a hairy wife if you accept me from India' is rude to all sikh woman and is no way genuine. Also I am not willing to marry someone from India for cultural differences in our upbringing.

[Singhni MiriPiri 318]

So I have decided that I am going to keep my hair because I have the fundamental belief that this is what all woman look like and this is the truth BUT there is a problem with 'Sikh' boys as they are not fully accepting of a woman with hair.

In response SinghniMiriPiri about why not accept proposals on this thread - firstly someone saying 'I will accept a hairy wife if you accept me from India' is rude to all sikh woman and is no way genuine. Also I am not willing to marry someone from India for cultural differences in our upbringing.

There is a member within this thread called 'weareallone' that responded to you and he did not say he is from India.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

There is a member within this thread called 'weareallone' that responded to you and he did not say he is from India.

Sorry, I didn't see that reply - Where is he from? How old is he?

[Singhni MiriPiri 318]

Sorry, I didn't see that reply - Where is he from? How old is he?

You could make an account and ask the member directly

[Quantavius 141]

To the OP @Sikh Woman

May I humbly ask, did Guruji Maharaj specifically request that women also must keep their facial hair? To the best of my knowledge the requirement is only for men.

[Guest Sikh Woman]

To the OP @Sikh Woman

May I humbly ask, did Guruji Maharaj specifically request that women also must keep their facial hair? To the best of my knowledge the requirement is only for men.

The Guru said all human beings should keep all bodily hair. In the rehat maryada - the sikh code of conduct it is forbidden to remove hair from your body. All Sikh rules are applied equally to both genders. There is not a different rule for a man or a woman.

I have explained it at a lot of length in this 6 page thread but the reason people struggle to accept this is because we have all falsely conditioned ourselves to believe that females do not grow facial hair (upper lip hair, side burns, chin hair). Some females will even deny that they have facial hair and will secretly remove it. The truth is that all women across all the different human races grow facial hair - just look at the youtube videos!

I would like to ask you this - why should a man keep his hair? It is for the same reason that a man keeps it that a woman keeps it.

[Singhni MiriPiri 318]

To the OP @Sikh Woman

May I humbly ask, did Guruji Maharaj specifically request that women also must keep their facial hair? To the best of my knowledge the requirement is only for men.

Facial hair is natural for women. Why would Guru Sahib tell us to remove our natural facial hair? For aesthetic reasons?

[Quantavius 141]

Facial hair is natural for women. Why would Guru Sahib tell us to remove our natural facial hair? For aesthetic reasons?

Thousand apologies but that is not what I asked.

[Questioner 232]

To the OP @Sikh Woman

May I humbly ask, did Guruji Maharaj specifically request that women also must keep their facial hair? To the best of my knowledge the requirement is only for men.

There is no need to make gender specific requests; Guru Sahib has instructed that an Amritdhari Sikh keep his or her hair. Men and women of the Khalsa Panth are expected to adhere to the same Rehat Maryada and keep their Panj Kakkar, one of which is kesh.