How Sikhi Helped With Overcoming Abuse

[Guest Kaur]

To the Kaur that wrote the article

I felt so sad reading what you have been through. You should not have had your innocence ever taken in that manner by anyone let alone your father. We really are living in a Kalyug. Was there no one to help? Im so sorry for what you have been through.

It makes it even more critical that we as people ensure that we pick up on abuse in our families and not just let evil acts such as this occur hoping it will stop. This is such a shame...

I pray for you to have a happy life free from these scars. PM me any time..

Mann

Thank you Veer Ji, there was no one to help, as I was too ashamed to speak, I was young but I knew what was happening was not right. I was scared to speak out against him.

[kazimakazima 27]

The article was written to help others in a similar situation know they are not alone, and to help me. I found Writing is therapeutic, and it encouraged others to get in touch. Yes I've aired my dirty laundry, it's really dirty, maybe you are right and I should have stayed silent. These things should never be talked about. I should have just been grateful to have a roof over my head and food on the table, and not questioned why my father was different to others. Thank you for that perspective.

I don't claim to be brave, far from it, if I was brave I would have reported it. I am weak, brave are the Kaurs in history who I can only aspire to be like. I am Just someone who found Sikhi and Gurbani healing.

Thank you for reading and Sharing your thoughts.

Gurfateh

Well done for speaking up and sharing your very sad and painful experience with us. We are a (sikh) quame, a Panth, a huge family and you are a part of it. Why do you think Guru ji created the sikh quame/the Panth? Did he create this Panth so we could critize others when they came to us with their problems, to fight with everyone? Did he not create this family, this Panth this quame to help each other if someone needed it? It is not a kind thing to do to insult and degrade people that have suffered traumatic childhoods. You had every right to talk to us about your horrid experiences, you are only human aren't you? Sikhi teaches us to be empathetic, forgiving and patient. It teaches us to help others regardless of race, color or creed. Look at Bhai Ganyaa Ji. Bhai Ganyaa Ji should be every sikh's role model. I know he is mine. Helping doesn't only mean just plastering or bandaging the injured or offering water to the thirsty on the battlefield. It also means listening to other people's suffering with patience, kindness and without judging them. It also means feeling empathy like Bhai ji did for the wounded in the battlefield regardless of the fact some of the injured and wounded were enemies.

This has got nothing to do with dirty laundry, so don't take any notice of those that are trying to humiliate you for speaking up. It is your experience, your right to speak out or air it and no one else's business to make you feel bad about your decision to come forward. Why should you have stayed silent, why? Why should you suffer in silence? Was it your fault what was done to you? No, it wasn't! You were an innocent child and the very person that was suppose to love and protect you did this to you. How shocking is that? What good is the roof over your head and the food on the table when your vulnerability is being exploited? How did that affect your young mind? Were you able to interact with other youngesters at school or elsewhere in a normal way? I wouldn't have thought so.

If people stopped talking and sharing their problems with others they will never be resolved. They will continue to exist from one generation to the next. It is a cyclic thing. Why should you brush these horrible, evil, disgusting experiences under the carpet when there are people around you that you can talk to and are willing to listen to you. I really wish you all the best and am glad you came forward to speak to us. This will encourage so many youngsters in the same situation to come forward too Take refuge in the Guru and hopefully some day you will be able to put all this behind you.

Sikhi doesn't teach us to blame the sufferer, instead it teaches us to help them regardless of gender, race, color, creed, caste or class. It teaches us not to judge others. It teaches us humility, kindness, seva, love and daya.. So, don't allow anyone to put you down for speaking up and exposing those that commit these horrendous crimes.

[Guest Brave]

Kaur, thankyou, you are doing a great Seva, showing many of us how lucky we have been not to suffer the same abuse. My father was on the verge of abusing me but I was able to quickly stop it. I would never trust my father with my daughters if I had any and I have told my mother, she deserved to know.

I just wish I could do more. If i were you though, I would tell the authorities, so that a. He is never able to do what he did to any one else, and b. He pays for his crimes using the system.

How else will be learn. I have sent my father to jail for much much much less than what u went through and had he done that to me, he probably Wouldnt still be living- I would have murdered him, no joke. The years of abuse he gave to us and our mother made me very angry.

The way u are dealing with ur pain is indeed Corageous, but why not go one step further to healing yourself and doing the right thing and tell the cops. Your mum deserves it,your family deserves it, the world deserves to be safe from this mor*n and u deserve justice.

But your free to do what you wish.

[Guest Kaur]

Well done for speaking up and sharing your very sad and painful experience with us. We are a (sikh) quame, a Panth, a huge family and you are a part of it. Why do you think Guru ji created the sikh quame/the Panth? Did he create this Panth only to fight with everyone? Did he not create this family, this Panth this quame to help each other if need be? It is not a kind thing to do to insult and degrade people that have suffered traumatic childhoods. You had every right to talk to us about your horrid experiences, you are only human aren't you? Sikhi teaches us to be empathetic, forgiving and patient. It teaches us to help others regardless of race, color or creed. Look at Bhai Ganyaa Ji. Bhai Ganyaa Ji should be every sikh's role model. I know he is mine. Helping doesn't only mean just plastering or bandaging the injured or offering water to the thirsty on the battlefield. It also means listening to other people's suffering with patience, kindness and without judging them. It also means feeling empathy like Bhai ji did for the wounded in the battlefield regardless of the fact some of the injured and wounded were enemies.

This has got nothing to do with dirty laundry, so don't take any notice of those that are trying to put you down for speaking up. It is your experience, your right to speak out or air and no one else's business to make you feel bad about your decision to come forward. Why should you have stayed silent, why? Why should you suffer in silence? Was it your fault what was done to you? No, it wasn't! You were an innocent child and the very person that was suppose to love and protect you did this to you. How shocking is that? What good is the roof over your head and the food on the table when your vulnerability is being exploited? How did that affect your young mind? Were you able to interact with other youngesters at school or elsewhere in a normal way? I wouldn't have thought so.

If people stopped talking and sharing their problems with others they will never be resolved. They will continue to exist from one generation to the next. It is a cyclic thing. Why should you brush these horrible, evil, disgusting experiences under the carpet when there are people around you that you can talk to and are willing to listen to you. I really wish you all the best and am glad you came forward to speak to us. This will encourage so many youngsters in the same situation to come forward too Take refuge in the Guru and hopefully some day you will be able to put all this behind you.

Sikhi doesn't teach us to blame the sufferer, instead it teaches us to help them regardless of gender, race, color, creed, caste or class. It teaches us not to judge others. It teaches us humility, kindness, love and daya.. So, don't allow anyone to put you down for speaking up and exposing those that commit these horrid crimes.

Thank you, Your words have really helped me today.

[Guest Kaur]

Kaur, thankyou, you are doing a great Seva, showing many of us how lucky we have been not to suffer the same abuse. My father was on the verge of abusing me but I was able to quickly stop it. I would never trust my father with my daughters if I had any and I have told my mother, she deserved to know.

I just wish I could do more. If i were you though, I would tell the authorities, so that a. He is never able to do what he did to any one else, and b. He pays for his crimes using the system.

How else will be learn. I have sent my father to jail for much much much less than what u went through and had he done that to me, he probably Wouldnt still be living- I would have murdered him, no joke. The years of abuse he gave to us and our mother made me very angry.

The way u are dealing with ur pain is indeed Corageous, but why not go one step further to healing yourself and doing the right thing and tell the cops. Your mum deserves it,your family deserves it, the world deserves to be safe from this mor*n and u deserve justice.

But your free to do what you wish.

Thank you for reading the article, he is in no position to harm anyone else, as for justice, jail, reporting him to the authorities, exposing him, will not give me the peace I am searching. I will leave that to Maharaj.

[Quantavius 141]

it can be deemed that you are calling her cowardly for not reporting her father, and ungrateful because out of the whole article you felt you needed to point out how you have been extremely grateful for having a roof and food on the table, hence implying that she should be too. The article is not asking you about your father, but merely her explaining as a 10 year old how she felt about her father.

Basically you're putting words into my mouth just because you have a different opinion. Not very 'Sikhi' of you. LOL!

This is a forum where different views and ideas are exchanged. There is no rule that states one poster must agree with other and cannot have a differing view just because that person feel extremely sensitive on a certain subject matter. In fact, this very notion defeats the idea of having a forum whereby posters are able to freely exchange/share different viewpoints.

As to the point about the father, you obviously have problems with your reading comprehension. It is irrelevant if the article is asking about my viewpoint about my father. I am able to criticize the article as I see fit as this is a still a forum after all.

If you are going to put up your story, be prepared for opposing views. That is life. Not everybody is going to agree with you. If you have a problem with this here, you are going to have problems in real life as nobody in the real world is going to care about your 'sensitivities' and will tell you off in your face.

[Singhni MiriPiri 318]

it can be deemed that you are calling her cowardly for not reporting her father, and ungrateful because out of the whole article you felt you needed to point out how you have been extremely grateful for having a roof and food on the table, hence implying that she should be too. The article is not asking you about your father, but merely her explaining as a 10 year old how she felt about her father.

I believe it would have taken an extreme amount of strength to face these issues, to seek answers, and to seek help and speak to a counsellor about it. To be betrayed by the very person who is there to nurture and protect you. I can not even begin to imagine how much strength it would have taken to put pen to paper.

Thank you sister for sharing your story and may Guru Maharaj continue to heal you.

Well said!

[SheikhYoBooty 295]

To the Kaur who posted u are the strongest bravest person on this thread.

Being strong isn't about being the best at debating someone just for the heck of it but about surviving suffering!

Kaur u are a true inspiration just like how all the cool posters like Singhni MiriPiri, Japnaam and Brave already said.

KazimaKazima Ji i'm sorry if i was rude to u before. I was wrong about u + I respect ur post on this thread.

最大に私の姉妹を尊重

[amarjitpalli 10]

Basically you're putting words into my mouth just because you have a different opinion. Not very 'Sikhi' of you. LOL!

This is a forum where different views and ideas are exchanged. There is no rule that states one poster must agree with other and cannot have a differing view just because that person feel extremely sensitive on a certain subject matter. In fact, this very notion defeats the idea of having a forum whereby posters are able to freely exchange/share different viewpoints.

As to the point about the father, you obviously have problems with your reading comprehension. It is irrelevant if the article is asking about my viewpoint about my father. I am able to criticize the article as I see fit as this is a still a forum after all.

If you are going to put up your story, be prepared for opposing views. That is life. Not everybody is going to agree with you. If you have a problem with this here, you are going to have problems in real life as nobody in the real world is going to care about your 'sensitivities' and will tell you off in your face.

Oooooooooooooops!! Harsh words again! The real world out there is not completely composed of harsh people for your kind information. There are plenty of nice and caring people out there in the real world, thank god for that! Everyone is entitled to their sesitivities towards something so I can't see why would anyone want to tell someone off for having them. Opposing views are fine but to to be bad to people for sharing something bad on the forum is not so good.

[Quantavius 141]

Oooooooooooooops!! Harsh words again! The real world out there is not completely composed of harsh people for your kind information. There are plenty of nice and caring people out there in the real world, thank god for that! Everyone is entitled to their sesitivities towards something so I can't see why would anyone want to tell someone off for having them. Opposing views are fine but to to be bad to people for sharing something bad on the forum is not so good.

Oooooooooooooops!! Huge fragile ego again! The real world out there is not completely composed of people with huge ego's for your kind information. There are plenty of humble and secure people out there in the real world, thank god for that! Everyone is entitled to their opinion towards something so I can't see why would anyone want to tell someone off for having them. Similar views are fine but to to be bad to people for sharing an opposing view on the forum is not so good.

[amarjitpalli 10]

Oooooooooooooops!! Huge fragile ego again! The real world out there is not completely composed of people with huge ego's for your kind information. There are plenty of humble and secure people out there in the real world, thank god for that! Everyone is entitled to their opinion towards something so I can't see why would anyone want to tell someone off for having them. Similar views are fine but to to be bad to people for sharing an opposing view on the forum is not so good.

I did not know my opinion would cause you to reply in such a fainthearted manner? Have I said something too difficult for you to handle? Oooops, I do beg your pardon, for not realizing that! I thought you fully supported opposing opinions and told others off for not having them. You have really got me confused now. You mention some cliches such as 'fragile ego,' 'huge egos,' you wouldn't be referring to yourself by any chance? Of course, there are plenty of nice and caring people out there as well as humble and secure ones, but surely not everyone can be classed as such. There must be some that are not. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for someone to tell us about what her father did to her as a child. She came on this forum with a good heart hoping her readers would be 'humble and secure' who would listen to her story with empathy and in friendship. No, this is not how you reacted. You judged her and mocked her for sharing her pathetically sad experiences with us. This goes to prove how humble and secure you must be as a person. Instead of listening to her kindly and trying to understand what she must have felt when she was going through with her bad experiences, you did the opposite. So, no way, anyone can class you as a humble or secure individual. In my humble and secure opinion, it is really bad to be bad to someone who has already suffered something horrendously bad and is seeking to share her experiences with others with a good and honest heart.

I sincerely hope my piece of writing above has not shaken your super fragile and super huge ego. Have a nice life.

Oooooooooooooops!! Harsh words again! The real world out there is not completely composed of harsh people for your kind information. There are plenty of nice and caring people out there in the real world, thank god for that! Everyone is entitled to their sesitivities towards something so I can't see why would anyone want to tell someone off for having them. Opposing views are fine but to to be bad to people for sharing something bad on the forum is not so good.

In my humble and secure opinion this is my best composition so far! I am stating this opinion in the absence of a fragile or a huge ego!