Baba Deep Singh Ji was 75 years old when attainu shaheedi. Guru Amar Das Ji was 73 years old when guruji received guruship and lived up to 95 years. Our job is to naam Jap, and guru sahib job's is to worry. If we start to worry about our problems, who would jap naam? Don't wander, when there is time, why not at least recite some bani like japji sahib and slowly increase day by day. After all, this can only happen with maharaj kirpa and our constant effort, trust, love,faith and patience. Bhul chuk maaf karna ji
I heard a katha where if someone realises his/her mistake and feels guilty and shameful, maharaj has already forgiven them. But, you should always go to the panj pyaare which are the form of a guru for peshi/tankaah. You are blessed to have that guilt because I know an amrit dharee who never went to peshi and never even realised his own mistake. I feel so sad because sometimes when you don't have the thirst for amrit, you don't really value it. You would do anything that it's against and still say that you're right. Anyways, it's best to ask forgiveness from guru sahib because better late than never.