Dukhi because of wife

[Guest Paapiman]

On 6/17/2018 at 11:38 AM, Guest Hopeless said:

I will give quick snopsysis, i married a girl from india, and assumed my parents and inlaws would help.

 

The girl i married to dresses inappropriately, gets mad if religious music is on, and threatens shes going to do suicide everyday.

I have been trying hard to make my marriage, but literally feel im confused. The sikh relgion talks of marriage and not divorce. I am so confused because i took anand karaj literally. I truly want to have a family, but am mentally reaching a breaking point.

 

 

You can get an Akhand Paath (or other types of Paath) done for her. Do ardas to Maharaaj for a happy and a successful marriage.

Try seeking help from a marriage counsellor/psyhotherapist (who specializes in marital issues). It might help. These professionals are trained to tackle problems in a variety of situations and will give you tips, which might assist you in improving your relationship with your wife.

There is a Jaap which you can do. It is mentioned in the Shabad Sidhi granth.

If you join the Sikhawareness forum, you can pm me for another suggestion which might help you (it would be inappropraite to state it on a public forum).

Overall, IMHO, you will have to be patient (for sometime) and keep doing ardas in front of Sri Waheguru jee for her attitude to change.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Guest Paapiman(SA)]

On 6/17/2018 at 11:38 AM, Guest Hopeless said:

I will give quick snopsysis, i married a girl from india, and assumed my parents and inlaws would help.

 

The girl i married to dresses inappropriately, gets mad if religious music is on, and threatens shes going to do suicide everyday.

I have been trying hard to make my marriage, but literally feel im confused. The sikh relgion talks of marriage and not divorce. I am so confused because i took anand karaj literally. I truly want to have a family, but am mentally reaching a breaking point.

 

 

You can get an Akhand Paath (or other types of Paath) done for her. Do ardas to Maharaaj for a happy and a successful marriage.

Try seeking help from a marriage counsellor/psyhotherapist (who specializes in marital issues). It might help. These professionals are trained to tackle problems in a variety of situations and will give you tips, which might assist you in improving your relationship with your wife.

There is a Jaap which you can do. It is mentioned in the Shabad Sidhi granth.

If you join the Sikhawareness forum, you can pm me for another suggestion which might help you (it would be inappropraite to state it on a public forum).

Overall, IMHO, you will have to be patient (for sometime) and keep doing ardas in front of Sri Waheguru jee for her attitude to change.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[Guest Paapiman]

On 6/17/2018 at 11:38 AM, Guest Hopeless said:

I will give quick snopsysis, i married a girl from india, and assumed my parents and inlaws would help.

 

The girl i married to dresses inappropriately, gets mad if religious music is on, and threatens shes going to do suicide everyday.

I have been trying hard to make my marriage, but literally feel im confused. The sikh relgion talks of marriage and not divorce. I am so confused because i took anand karaj literally. I truly want to have a family, but am mentally reaching a breaking point.

 

 

You can get an Akhand Paath (or other types of Paath) done for her. Do ardas to Maharaaj for a happy and a successful marriage.

Try seeking help from a marriage counsellor/psyhotherapist (who specializes in marital issues). It might help. These professionals are trained to tackle problems in a variety of situations and will give you tips, which might assist you in improving your relationship with your wife.

There is a Jaap which you can do. It is mentioned in the Shabad Sidhi granth.

If you join the Sikhawareness forum, you can pm me for another suggestion which might help you (it would be inappropraite to state it on a public forum).

Overall, IMHO, you will have to be patient (for sometime) and keep doing ardas in front of Sri Waheguru jee for her attitude to change.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[ipledgeblue]

why did MODs approve the same post THREE times?

[MisterrSingh]

She may be possessed by a mischievous demoness. Time to unleash the big guns...

 

[Guest Good Luck!]

Relationships are complicated . You need to be clear in your mind what you want from life. Do you wanna stay with this Girl. If the answer is yes, then never ever doubt your decision and Guru's approval of your decision. Few pointers to improve your relationship. 

1. Laws of attraction : No excuse for not being very well represented. <banned word filter activated>(ier) the wife the better looking you should be, you can't change your features. But you know "SIX Packs" looks good on any dam face and brings that respect you are craving for.

2. Play with their natural inclination: Love or fear, which one has better pull? Doesn't matter. No harm in using both. I will leave the decision to use appropriate combination of love and fear to you. Always always use BOTH.

3. Money: Take money out of relationship: That means, ensure she earns what she spends. And family money or savings are out of reach. Ensure she is clear on the fact that she is not gonna get a dime after divorce. Ensure that she understands,  you respect your money and wont let a dime go away without a fight. 

4. Don't listen to the <banned word filter activated> of cultures as few esteemed guests wrote above. Laws of attraction, love & relationship are consistent across cultures. People use different language or tones,  but represent the same instincts of love, fear , happiness and GREED. 

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh]

On ‎7‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 12:36 AM, Guest Good Luck! said:

Relationships are complicated . You need to be clear in your mind what you want from life. Do you wanna stay with this Girl. If the answer is yes, then never ever doubt your decision and Guru's approval of your decision. Few pointers to improve your relationship. 

1. Laws of attraction : No excuse for not being very well represented. <banned word filter activated>(ier) the wife the better looking you should be, you can't change your features. But you know "SIX Packs" looks good on any dam face and brings that respect you are craving for.

2. Play with their natural inclination: Love or fear, which one has better pull? Doesn't matter. No harm in using both. I will leave the decision to use appropriate combination of love and fear to you. Always always use BOTH.

3. Money: Take money out of relationship: That means, ensure she earns what she spends. And family money or savings are out of reach. Ensure she is clear on the fact that she is not gonna get a dime after divorce. Ensure that she understands,  you respect your money and wont let a dime go away without a fight. 

4. Don't listen to the <banned word filter activated> of cultures as few esteemed guests wrote above. Laws of attraction, love & relationship are consistent across cultures. People use different language or tones,  but represent the same instincts of love, fear , happiness and GREED. 

Absolutely none of that ^ answers the OP's 2 main things that he sees as 'problems' in this marriage:

1) The wife from India getting angry each time religious music is on the TV / Radio

2) The wife from India doing what women from India habitually do all the time: i.e. threaten suicide.

[Guest Get counselling]

She needs professional counselling regarding the suicide threats. 

 

She sounds depressed and maybe has mental issues. 

Don't be ignorant and think that she doesn't need counseling etc, she needs it so organize it. In England, she can get free IAPT service counselling. 

Regarding inappropriate clothing-that depends on what your definition is, and Noone has the right to control what someone else wears, we all have that freedom

Go to counseling or take her. Couples counseling would help too

 

They'll recommend that she meditates and destresses anyway so maybe she'll start letting you be religious the way you want to be. 

[Guest jigsaw_puzzled_singh]

On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 1:06 AM, Guest Get counselling said:

She needs professional counselling regarding the suicide threats.  

Greeks know about Greeks. Germans know about Germans. The Swiss know about the Swiss. But, it seems, the Punjabis know nothing about the Punjabis.

Every woman in Punjab habitually threatens suicide. Habitually. Discard your western thought mechanism and western based models of psychology (96% of which has been formulated from case studies of and research into western (white) subjects and understand the relationship between culture and the way people think. In India, according to the law, suicide is seen not as a crime in itself but rather a crime that is perpetrated by another / others. Thus, if someone commits suicide another / others are always arrested and put in jail. Thus when an Indian woman threatens suicide she is basically saying "I'll have you arrested by the police". That's all it is. They all do it. It's just an everyday thing for them to say as a way of getting back / mildly threatening someone. When looking at the psychology of someone from Punjab discard your western learned notions. They are irrelevant to the psychology of eastern people. To the OP I would say one should not be going to Punjab to marry a Punjabi without making at least a small effort to understand them. That's cruel on both you and them.

 

[MokhamSingh]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bDCCgSw8CM&app=desktop&persist_app=1