middle aged Punjabi couples

[puzzled]

if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today?  I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle. 

[mahandulai]

On ‎12‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 9:02 PM, puzzled said:

if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today?  I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle. 

that always been marriages mate.

shrek and Fiona were a one off.

[Guest GuestSingh]

imo that fear of shame and honour on the family name and reputation was just as strong if not more so than the attachment to their kids..

no doubt those troubles and hard times made them even more tolerant and resilient as individuals to the ongoing racism and different culture/language they had to deal with - fair to say the diaspora wouldnt be as successful as it is today without all these values which most couples either disregard or lack today..and thats why we're witnessing the destruction and near-end of the panjabi family construct as more continue to bow and give their head to whitey..

sad to say but panjabis just arent as strong and courageous anymore..

[Akalifauj]

On 12/16/2018 at 1:02 PM, puzzled said:

if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today?  I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle. 

Today kids are getting married for love and divorce during or after the honeymoon.   Clearly love marriages are not successful as everyone makes them look out to be.  

What is a love marriage based on

Physical attraction( what they call love at first site) physical attraction becomes boring and flirting gets boring with time with the same person.  Doesn't matter if you are married to the most beautiful woman in the world from your perspective and the worlds.  You will start noticing the imperfections in her and that will make her ugly.  Celebrity couples are a prime example.  They have money and looks but they are divorcing their spouse because the grass is always greener on the other side.  They hook up with another beautiful actress and she turns out to be boring with time.  If these love marriage couples were happy.  They would not have the need to flirt and fantasize about other people as their one night stand, boy friend or spouse.  Their lives are dull.   So they seek pleasure else where but that flame burns out because its no different than the first one.  Ask a person who owns a Ferrari.   Are you as excited about the Ferrari as the first time you bought one.  And he will tell you, don't buy a Ferrari.  Lamborghini is better, that's what I am buying next. The mind is not satisfied with what it has.  It wants more and better. 

True love is when a someone is willing to step on a hot plate and not complain about it or hold it over your head. Or when someone is willing to give their head and not complain about it or hold it over your head. The sooner you learn this in life.  The sooner you will comes to terms with reality. 

 

[TinnkerBell]

On 12/17/2018 at 2:32 AM, puzzled said:

if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today?  I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle. 

[Guest seeker]

11 hours ago, Akalifauj said:

Today kids are getting married for love and divorce during or after the honeymoon.   Clearly love marriages are not successful as everyone makes them look out to be.  

What is a love marriage based on

Physical attraction( what they call love at first site) physical attraction becomes boring and flirting gets boring with time with the same person.  Doesn't matter if you are married to the most beautiful woman in the world from your perspective and the worlds.  You will start noticing the imperfections in her and that will make her ugly.  Celebrity couples are a prime example.  They have money and looks but they are divorcing their spouse because the grass is always greener on the other side.  They hook up with another beautiful actress and she turns out to be boring with time.  If these love marriage couples were happy.  They would not have the need to flirt and fantasize about other people as their one night stand, boy friend or spouse.  Their lives are dull.   So they seek pleasure else where but that flame burns out because its no different than the first one.  Ask a person who owns a Ferrari.   Are you as excited about the Ferrari as the first time you bought one.  And he will tell you, don't buy a Ferrari.  Lamborghini is better, that's what I am buying next. The mind is not satisfied with what it has.  It wants more and better. 

True love is when a someone is willing to step on a hot plate and not complain about it or hold it over your head. Or when someone is willing to give their head and not complain about it or hold it over your head. The sooner you learn this in life.  The sooner you will comes to terms with reality. 

 

You married?

[puzzled]

Even when their husband/wife dies they more upset about the kids being fatherless/motherless than actually being upset over their spouse dying.

none of the middle aged people in my family look happy, they all look like thunder and are miserable. They seriously could do with a break from each other. 

never seen the older lot in my family sit over a table and discuss problems, the "discussing" ends up becoming shouting.

why do so many Punjabi men come back from work and start drinking alone sitting before the tv? 

[jkvlondon]

On 12/16/2018 at 9:02 PM, puzzled said:

if divorce was an option and not a taboo back in the 70s and 80s do you think many of the aunties and uncles would be divorced today?  I think yes they would, i look at some of these couples and their marriage seems to be more of a contract and duty. It seems the only thing that binds these flop marriages together are the kids in the middle. 

way to go generalising people , Yesterday a close family friend died and his wife was inconsolable, there are many sikh marriages of the 60s,70s where the people are very clear as to what marriage is and understand that loyalty, respect and being empathetic is a huge part of  the deal, kids will come and also go their own way , the couple remains under Waheguru ji

[jkvlondon]

11 minutes ago, puzzled said:

Even when their husband/wife dies they more upset about the kids being fatherless/motherless than actually being upset over their spouse dying.

none of the middle aged people in my family look happy, they all look like thunder and are miserable. They seriously could do with a break from each other. 

never seen the older lot in my family sit over a table and discuss problems, the "discussing" ends up becoming shouting.

why do so many Punjabi men come back from work and start drinking alone sitting before the tv? 

because they watched to many stupid movies which promote that is the only solution for sadness, betrayal, boredom etc etc , Think back to bollywood of that time period all the heroes got tanked whenever they had a disappointment instead of finding a solution .

[puzzled]

16 minutes ago, jkvlondon said:

way to go generalising people , Yesterday a close family friend died and his wife was inconsolable, there are many sikh marriages of the 60s,70s where the people are very clear as to what marriage is and understand that loyalty, respect and being empathetic is a huge part of  the deal, kids will come and also go their own way , the couple remains under Waheguru ji

i think there is a difference between the older 60s couples and the 80s couples