Equality during Anand Karaj

[Koi 583]

I've never come across any rehatvaan Sikh (Singh or Singhni) who has a problem with the Anand Karaj. It's these new-age third-wave feminist types who do...

When you walk one behind the other, you're both the same physical distance from the Guru. 

And if you still have a problem with that, then you know who's closer to the Guru? The Granthi Singh! Wanna complain about that too?...

[GurjantGnostic 2,903]

Sant Jarnail Singh Ji Khalsa Bhinderwale Shaheed speaks of Anand Karaj among other things in this blessed video. 

 

[GurjantGnostic 2,903]

If some crazy thing goes down like I said I heard above I think we will be surprised the variety of people who will not say that even if it means death and those that will. You would have seemingly religous and totally non religous seeming people walking both ways. 

If violence ever comes Degh Tegh Fateh. Especially our Bhenji. Please make it so we can recognize you. 

[GurjantGnostic 2,903]

Oh and get this. Apparently there was a great slaughter at the first thanksgiving that broke out over exactly this, and that thanskgiving is symbolic of that after the prolonged violence stemming from that subsided. Call it..a ritual meal. To remember that by. 

And this type of um..greater religous freedom in the new world was that the mayflower pilgrims brought. 

Kalyug bro. Like you never wake up and expect to have that conversation. 

[jkvlondon 6,319]

On 3/3/2021 at 6:12 PM, Guest Bibliophile said:

Op, I think you're asking a pertinant question but in the wrong place. Take a look at some the other threads on this board and you'll see that the Sikhs here put tradition above everything. They want to go back to the old days where we all went to the loo in the fields and women died in childbirth. 

Sikhs on reddit are much less condescending, well educated and likely to give a balanced view. I'd ask there. 

 

by welleducated you mean 'loosey goosey' with maryada and rehit , we are talking faith not physics/chemistry etc  and for faith to be there you have to believe in the institution of Anand Karaj, in Guru ji , in sikhi as is . It is not condescending to point this out as that is the basic minimum requirement for a sikh wanting to partake of the blessing of Anand Karaj . The OP' s own parents did not marry by the frankly ridiculous manner they are suggesting , it is trying to say that western mores of 3rd wave feminism have more weight than Guru given maryada which is insulting in the highest manner .  Yes if they do not want to do the right thing by sikhi maybe they would be better off having a registry marriage and knees up just like their folks want , sure it doesn't make for the best photo album , but you cannot have everything .

[Guest guest]

On 3/6/2021 at 3:16 PM, Sikhi4Ever said:

Would be interesting to see what are your "Firm Traditionalist" views. Now don't do ghosting traditionalist male ji. 

not sure what you're trying to say?

[Guest guest]

i think what women who object to the setup need to understand is that it is also a position of humility for the male too to be walking in front with the female behind him.  its not subjugation.

if they were walking side by side it would be like a happy couple striding around rather then the solemnity a religious ceremony.

in religious ceremonies we have to show humility before ach other and God.

[KhoonKaBadlaKhoon2 44]

On 3/4/2021 at 12:00 AM, Koi said:

Wonderful replies here by the sangat .

A small point to note; if you walk side by side, one of you will stand closer to the Guru and have to walk a slightly shorter distance, while the other will have to stand a little further away from the Guru and walk a slightly longer distance. Who will it be? And how do you decide who gets to stand closer to the Guru?

This is what happens when you start splitting hairs. As sangat have mentioned, if you don't like the Anand Karaj, you are more than welcome to get "married" in any other way you see fit...

What makes you think that's a problem for them? They couldn't care less about the Guru, or being close to the Guru. 

[Guest Amster_damn Gorry]

On 2/24/2021 at 5:24 PM, Guest manjeetayjagjeet said:

Sat sri akal, everyone!

I'm just having some trouble wrapping my head around Sikh society. As a woman, I am proud to be Sikh because it advocates for equality among the genders. However, my faith has been suffering due to societal thinking, especially here in Canada. My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we are having a lot of trouble finding a raagi jattha. Why? Because both of us (and our families) want us to walk beside each other instead of the traditional bride behind groom way for the lavaan. People are simply unwilling to do it and those that can, are crazy expensive.

Our traditions have been heavily borrowed from Hinduism but without all the fuss. We have even changed the way we think about Sikh marriage, as the bride and groom get married together to God. So then why do I have to walk behind him? To make things worse, I have heard some really sexist things from some of the raagis who explained why I must walk behind him. I am so disappointed in our people.

I guess I wanted some more opinions on this. Am I missing some pertinent information? But if anyone has more information about this or raagis who are more open minded, I'd love to hear about it!

Thank you!

You do realise that your post is extremely sexist which Sikhism abandoned over half a century ago? What you don’t understand is that even the first Sikh Guru married in the same manner(GPG) in Batala.  Try to read  the Sikh literature in case of any doubts.

[indersingh1313 58]

On 2/25/2021 at 4:24 AM, Guest manjeetayjagjeet said:

Sat sri akal, everyone!

I'm just having some trouble wrapping my head around Sikh society. As a woman, I am proud to be Sikh because it advocates for equality among the genders. However, my faith has been suffering due to societal thinking, especially here in Canada. My fiancé and I are getting married next year and we are having a lot of trouble finding a raagi jattha. Why? Because both of us (and our families) want us to walk beside each other instead of the traditional bride behind groom way for the lavaan. People are simply unwilling to do it and those that can, are crazy expensive.

Our traditions have been heavily borrowed from Hinduism but without all the fuss. We have even changed the way we think about Sikh marriage, as the bride and groom get married together to God. So then why do I have to walk behind him? To make things worse, I have heard some really sexist things from some of the raagis who explained why I must walk behind him. I am so disappointed in our people.

I guess I wanted some more opinions on this. Am I missing some pertinent information? But if anyone has more information about this or raagis who are more open minded, I'd love to hear about it!

Thank you!

wjkk wjkf bhenji

does it really make it any difference who walks in front, behind or beside each other. 

we all believe in equality and never noticed this thing until you mentioned it.

as you said you both get married together to God and waheguru is not discriminating, then why to tress about these things. 

if you would like to do it your way to please your thinking, then it is still ok. and Vaheguru will be happy either way, I am sure!

[Guest lurker]

On 3/6/2021 at 5:08 PM, puzzled said:

Your aren't a woman though, and if women don't like it then its their problem. 

Like I said, in bani Guru ji describes himself as a Sodhi, his fathers clan. He then describes the genealogy of the Sodhi clan. He doesn't mention his mothers family or genealogy. 

Bani mentions Guru Nanak Dev ji as a member of the Bedi clan, his mothers lineage or clan is not mentioned. Same with Guru Amar Das ji and its the same with Guru Ramdas Ji. 

We as Sikhs then should follow suit and use the same family structure and order. I don't understand what is so difficult about that? That is why its the bride that gets married into the grooms family. That is why Guru Gobind Singh ji said that marry your daughter into a family where Sikhi is practiced.

You can't make it any clearer than that. 

If women have a problem with that then it is their problem. The doors are flung open, no one is telling them to have Anand Karaj or be Sikhs. 

Having read a few of your posts before I am very surprised you take this stance.

If you marry a Gursikh from a Gursikh family you would expect her to all but abandon her family for yours..warts and all? Would you not want your children to spend the majority of their time around her family, in their sangat as opposed to your family?

[puzzled 4,181]

On 4/16/2021 at 12:09 AM, Guest lurker said:

Having read a few of your posts before I am very surprised you take this stance.

If you marry a Gursikh from a Gursikh family you would expect her to all but abandon her family for yours..warts and all? Would you not want your children to spend the majority of their time around her family, in their sangat as opposed to your family?

Its not about what my stance is or what anyone's stance is. Our gurus have clearly demonstrated what the family structure and order should be.  

All I said is that the bride gets married into the grooms family and the children take the name of their fathers family, as our gurus have set example.

No where have I said that kids shouldn't interact with their mothers family. In fact Guru Gobind Singh ji learnt shastar vidhiya from his mothers brother.

I myself have always been more close to my mothers family, I don't even know my fathers family that well. But I take my fathers families name, because that's the family I was born into and that's the name I will give my kids.

The bride gets married into the grooms family, and the kids take the fathers name. Just like Guru Gobind Singh ji did and just like Guru Nanak Dev ji did.

Unless you feel the Gurus did it wrong?  

 

 

But as our Gurus have said, in Kalyug, the opposite will start happening. People will cross all moral boundaries and the order/structure of society will fall apart. Our Gurus have said in Kalyug men will forget their parents and start running around after their wives.

So it won't be surprising if in the near future men will take their wife's name, move into their wife's house and kids will take their mother's name.

I'm sure Sikh women are looking forward to the the development of Kalyug. 

 

What we see as progression in society, is actually kalyug spreading its tentacles.