Jump to content

Miss

Anon22

By Anon22,
in WHAT'S HAPPENING?

 Share

Recommended Posts

Anon22 Apprentice

Anon22

Posted
Posted

WJKK WJKF 

Hello everyone, 

I have been in a relationship with this guy for 6 years. I am now 23 years old and thinking of marriage. I don’t believe in caste and neither does he. My family come from a Jatt background and his family are chamar. My family do strongly believe in caste, but I was not brought up around it. I didn’t even know about the caste system or different castes until 3 years into my relationship with my boyfriend. He doesn’t have Singh in his name, but I always thought this was because he isn’t apart of the Khalsa. 
 

When we first met, he told me he was a Sikh and that was enough for me. I am a Sikh too and have always wanted a Sikh life partner. 
 

3 years into the relationship I learnt about his caste. Even then, I still believed he was a Sikh, so it meant no difference to me. I told my mum about our relationship this year and she asked about his caste. I told her he is a chamar and she told me how they have a different Gurdwara and believe in the Guru Ravidass. 
 

I spoke to my boyfriend about this and he told me his family go to a gurdwara that believes in Guru Ravidass and Guru Nanak Dev Ji. They read out of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and they perform the anand karaj as a wedding ceremony. 
 

I have been looking more into what he believes and I’m very confused as to whether he is a Sikh or not. I was hoping someone may know more about this topic and can advise me whether we would be able to do anand karaj in the gurdwara? 

0
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Not2Cool2Argue Grand Master

Not2Cool2Argue

Posted
Posted
On 12/7/2021 at 12:01 PM, Anon22 said:

WJKK WJKF 

Hello everyone, 

I have been in a relationship with this guy for 6 years. I am now 23 years old and thinking of marriage. I don’t believe in caste and neither does he. My family come from a Jatt background and his family are chamar. My family do strongly believe in caste, but I was not brought up around it. I didn’t even know about the caste system or different castes until 3 years into my relationship with my boyfriend. He doesn’t have Singh in his name, but I always thought this was because he isn’t apart of the Khalsa. 
 

When we first met, he told me he was a Sikh and that was enough for me. I am a Sikh too and have always wanted a Sikh life partner. 
 

3 years into the relationship I learnt about his caste. Even then, I still believed he was a Sikh, so it meant no difference to me. I told my mum about our relationship this year and she asked about his caste. I told her he is a chamar and she told me how they have a different Gurdwara and believe in the Guru Ravidass. 
 

I spoke to my boyfriend about this and he told me his family go to a gurdwara that believes in Guru Ravidass and Guru Nanak Dev Ji. They read out of the Guru Granth Sahib Ji and they perform the anand karaj as a wedding ceremony. 
 

I have been looking more into what he believes and I’m very confused as to whether he is a Sikh or not. I was hoping someone may know more about this topic and can advise me whether we would be able to do anand karaj in the gurdwara? 

You have good questions.

Your mom is right. Before due to discrimination, chamaar people got their own gurdwara. They were called Ravidaasiye or Ramgariye. Because these two respected personalities were of the same chamber caste. They just looked up to Bhagat Ravidaas ji and the 17th century Sikh Jassa singh raamgariya. All was good.

However a few years back maybe 2010s. A movement started that wanted to separate Sikh people from chamaar background into separate religion. This was the Ravidaasiye movement. They said we will have separate religion, Bhagat Ravidaas will be our Guru now. Some only believe in Guru Ravidaas. Also some even went so far, as to take all of Bhagat ravidaas jis bani and formed into their grants. They removed the rest of gurbani. That is very very sad for them. To have hatred towards bani based on the fact that a similar caste person as them didn't write it? What could be more castist or unfortunate? gurdwara. They also made a different Nishaan sahib and different greeting than Fateh.

 

There was a schism or separation among the Ravidaasiye gurudwaras. Some followed this new movement and some said no we are Sikhs of Guru granth sahib, we won't follow this nonsense. 

It seems as if your partner is a mixed bag of both. He probably doesn't know what to believe. And his relatives will be worse. Some staunchly on one side and some on the other. Some will also be castist. Taking out their hate of Jatts and how they were treated on you. Also will you henceforth be going to ravidaasiye gurdwara? Will your husband or his family be comfortable visiting the gurdwara you do? What about your parents? Will they be comfortable going and meeting his family and that gurdwara?

I know I sound castist. But caste is a reality in the world. Best you learn the facts then you can decide of you are strong enough to deal with discrimination and hatred. 

About the Anand kaaraj. I think as he is a Sikh, he will be allowed to do an Anand kaaraj. However will he feel comfortable doing the ceremony at your gurdwara? Also I'm not sure but I heard the separatist Guru Ravidaas ppl may have  adopted the fire ceremony as well. 

I would say you guys take time to discuss things. Take the marriage course offered by basics of sikhi. The 32 questions to fall in love. Discuss ur believes and goals. And most importantly, involve ur parents in your decisions. They are the support you want to have to fall back on, so don't burn any bridges. 

 

1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jacfsing2 Grand Master

Jacfsing2

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

You have good questions.

Your mom is right. Before due to discrimination, chamaar people got their own gurdwara. They were called Ravidaasiye or Ramgariye. Because these two respected personalities were of the same chamber caste. They just looked up to Bhagat Ravidaas ji and the 17th century Sikh Jassa singh raamgariya. All was good.

However a few years back maybe 2010s. A movement started that wanted to separate Sikh people from chamaar background into separate religion. This was the Ravidaasiye movement. They said we will have separate religion, Bhagat Ravidaas will be our Guru now. Some only believe in Guru Ravidaas. Also some even went so far, as to take all of Bhagat ravidaas jis bani and formed into their grants. They removed the rest of gurbani. That is very very sad for them. To have hatred towards bani based on the fact that a similar caste person as them didn't write it? What could be more castist or unfortunate? gurdwara. They also made a different Nishaan sahib and different greeting than Fateh.

 

There was a schism or separation among the Ravidaasiye gurudwaras. Some followed this new movement and some said no we are Sikhs of Guru granth sahib, we won't follow this nonsense. 

It seems as if your partner is a mixed bag of both. He probably doesn't know what to believe. And his relatives will be worse. Some staunchly on one side and some on the other. Some will also be castist. Taking out their hate of Jatts and how they were treated on you. Also will you henceforth be going to ravidaasiye gurdwara? Will your husband or his family be comfortable visiting the gurdwara you do? What about your parents? Will they be comfortable going and meeting his family and that gurdwara?

I know I sound castist. But caste is a reality in the world. Best you learn the facts then you can decide of you are strong enough to deal with discrimination and hatred. 

About the Anand kaaraj. I think as he is a Sikh, he will be allowed to do an Anand kaaraj. However will he feel comfortable doing the ceremony at your gurdwara? Also I'm not sure but I heard the separatist Guru Ravidaas ppl may have  adopted the fire ceremony as well. 

I would say you guys take time to discuss things. Take the marriage course offered by basics of sikhi. The 32 questions to fall in love. Discuss ur believes and goals. And most importantly, involve ur parents in your decisions. They are the support you want to have to fall back on, so don't burn any bridges. 

The OP isn’t a legit post, and the person who posted it wanted to slightly insult chamars as Ravidassia instead of Sikhs. She only learned about his last name 3 years ago and they’ve been together for 6 years. 

0
Link to comment
Share on other sites
dallysingh101 Grand Master

dallysingh101

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Not2Cool2Argue said:

Before due to discrimination, chamaar people got their own gurdwara. They were called Ravidaasiye or Ramgariye.

So now you're saying that both Ravidassi and Ramgarhia Gurdwaras are chamaar gurdwaras? You seem quite misinformed. Be careful of what you're being told yourself, especially if the person telling you may be a sociopath and/or inherently dishonest.   

0
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Singh1989
      All Gurdware should be like this

      By Singh1989 · Posted

      We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Singh1989
      Self care of hair

      By Singh1989 · Posted

      Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • ipledgeblue
      Nidar Singh Nihang X The Ranveer show podcast

      By ipledgeblue · Posted

      Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Not2Cool2Argue
      Why are starched turbans hated?

      By Not2Cool2Argue · Posted

      Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
    • Singh1989
      30th May over 6th June?

      By Singh1989 · Posted

      Wasn't Guru Arjan Dev's martyrdom on amd always commemorated on 6th June? How come it was 30th May?  Just like 6th June 84, where the likes of Terrorists like Indira Gandhi chose to attack Darbar Sahib where many many innocent Sikhs would suffer, as they went to commemorate Martyrdom of Maharaj. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use

  I accept