Do u guys have ne gf/bf?

[tarunjeet singh]

one ounce of sikhi should enable one to understnad that

GURMUKH = ONE WHICH FOLLOWS GURU'S PATH AND TEACHINGS I.E NO DATING NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION

MANMUKH = ONE WHICH FOLLOWS THERE MINDS DESIRES I.E FLIRTING, DATING ETC...

Bhaji I might not be much of a gursikh but it's obvious that any flirting or attraction of the opposite sex is wrong, one should avoid this situation as the keemat (value ) of your amrit is to precious, don't forsake this jewel for worldy pleasures.

[japmans]

no and i'm not trying to justify dating or sex, but at the same time, alotta the convo had drifted slightly from that, and the topic of conversation actually became relationships regarding marriage......

it's true... amrit is priceless.... guru sahib's gifts have such a great price, they are also priceless, and anything should be done to make sure his gifts aren't put to waste....

i'm not trying to say dating is right/wrong or what not... my opinion is my own, your is your own, that's cool, that's not the issue.... the issue is that i have a feeling you're not seeing what the topic is now.... and that's not fair for the posters who are trying to have a civil conversation about marriage..... just as an example, fittestjatti came out and totally said that "dating is wrong and that i'm waiting for my special singh, whenever that is" or something along those lines..

you yelled at her for wanting to date.... (i say "yell" cuzza internet ettiqute and caps lock and stuff).... and it distorts the flow, because it feels like a personal attack... since that post, fittestjatti hasn't even posted.. and i haven't seen her post anywhere else on this site, either...

the way you deliver your message shows no remorse or any slight "ounce" of consideration for other people and their opinions... oddly enough, two people may have two different opinions and BOTH might be basing their opinions on baani and rehit... it happens...

anyways, that's what i was trying to get across... saying things that are condescending doesn't help the topic reach any logical and satisfying conclusion, thats all...

vaheguruji ka khalsa vaheguruji ki fateh

[Guest A Singh.]

I don't think the subject of dating within Sikhism is one open to personal interpretation of whether it is acceptable or not/down to one's opinion. Just like alcohol, etc, having relationships outside of marriage is something which is not allowed within Sikhism. It is not a topic open to discussion just as whether or not alcohol is allowed, a topic open to discussion.

If someone wishes to conduct relationships outside of the marriage bond that is something they will discover wrong the hard way, either in this lifetime or the next.

For this reason I can understand Tarunjeet Singh's comments and sympathise with them completely.

[tarunjeet singh]

hmmmm......I cant apoligise for having fiath in Guru ji's word, lets not make Sikhi complicated , MANMUKH and GURMUKH are straight forward concepts and when applied to this thread it's clear to see where each veiw fits in, with regards to "fittest jattis"post tell me if i said something wrong ??? would Guru ji "yell "at you for dating <<<hmmmm or woudl he have the liberal veiw and sya it's ok to have pre-marital relationships ?????

[Golee Maro]

look? smile? talk? touch (non-intimate places)? hug? kiss? touching and feeling? sex?

where would you draw the line with someone? If u said to me "i draw the line at hugging someone who i am talking marriage with, i wud say theeka. If you said talk, i would RATE YA to da max. If you said sex i would smack ya in the mouth if u are a Singh or Singhni.

U see, i dont think theres nothing wrong in looking, smiling, talking, touching (in "non-intimate" places) or hugging someone who u r talking marriage with. But kissing and more,.... then u wud have crossed the line.

people will do it. They will try n find a spouse for themselves and there is a lot of western influence involved in how they go about it. You cant STOP it totally. But u can control it and give someone the best advice and most practical advice u can and THEN once theyve put that in place in their life, you can tell them the next step... the more orthodox approach.

Intentions are key. Some pretend to "love" someone because they love all the attention the other person gives them and uses them as time-paass. But if intentions are honourable... then i dont see the problem as long as you dont cross the line as mentioned above.

[japmans]

tarunjeet singh ji..... correct me if i'm wrong, but if you go back to fittest jatti's post

she said

DATING IS WRONG, that is why i'm waiting for my special singh.....

i.e..she's not going out actively trying to find her singh...

i.e.. she's not actively dating to find her singh.......

and i totally agree with pretty much everything anono singh jus said..

[Gupt daasan daas]

yo

i dunt understand the need for argument here

does guru jes words mean anything to us?

we r to see everyone as brother and ssiter cept out wife

thas it

before anand kaaraj, everyone is bro and sis

end of stroy

y is this such a long thread

it shudnt be

banee does not say u cant tall to bhenjees, or like stuff like that

but it does say to keep in rue mind that they are ure sister or brother

so as long as ure intention is as sister and brother, and ONLY that, no wat if i marry u, or nethin like that, ONLY if u think as bro and sis

bhula chuka maf

[Heera Singh]

i'm pretty sure the concensus is that dating is wrong for the most part...

most of the babble was about if its okay to talk to gurlz or not...

other people were saying its okay to get to know sum1 before marriage... i think tha's okay...

[Long live the khalsa]

ive been into sikhi 4 3 years but only up 2 a few months ago i started growin my hair an gave up meat b4 dat i went out wid a girl 4 a year an i developed feelings for her which where quite strong but now we just friends but i admit i still have feelings for her an i think i always will not that strong tho but do u think its ok if we are still mates

[Balwinder Kaur]

IMHO its okay to be FRIENDS with males or females.Platonic friendships are perfectly fine.A note of caution though... just be strong enough to conquer any kaam feelings should they arise and nip them in the bud before it overpowers you and you become one of the many folks out there facing bigtime dilemmas 'cuz they succumbed to kaam.Don't become another statistic. But yea...with regards to your qn about being friends with that girl, by all means, go ahead..so long as it's a platonic friendship, its fine i suppose. :wub: