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Is Virginity Important To Guys?


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Here Here to what Only Five said!

I have heard of so many singhs that have said no to our sisters for marriage because of the way they looked..too much facial hair, fat, bent nose, spots, just basically not attractive etc whatever reason. Good to hear that a Singh should look at the girls sikhi first!! As you get old looks fade. Same goes for girls, they should be going for his sikhi and the kind of person he is not how he looks.

Regarding the whole virginity thing, if the girl/guy was able to control themselves they would naturally want a partner who did the same. But it would depend on the other person. If I was approached for a rishta for a guy and found out he lost his virginity, would be gutted, but then would look at the person. There have been some where they have had bad backgrounds and maybe never had sikhi in their life or the right guidance, so maybe thats how they got in that mess. I would consider that kind of person especially if they are great gursikhs now I probably wouldnt consider a person that was amritdhari or had a lot of sangat, and still lost their virginity, they would be the ones i would worry about more.

Over time people change, i guess, think its a shame if you look at just that aspect of a person and ignore the rest.

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i am not a guy so i can't say exactly whether they would or would not. but from what i read based on evolutionary theory, men tend to prefer virgins and are not exactly open to the idea of having thei

Not to pinpoint to anyone in particular, but it is really easy to post personal opinions/views on an online forum. However, when life slaps one with such a situation, what you do then is the real you.

No one is a virgin. Life F***S us all.

Here Here to what Only Five said!

I have heard of so many singhs that have said no to our sisters for marriage because of the way they looked..too much facial hair, fat, bent nose, spots, just basically not attractive etc whatever reason. Good to hear that a Singh should look at the girls sikhi first!! As you get old looks fade. Same goes for girls, they should be going for his sikhi and the kind of person he is not how he looks.

Regarding the whole virginity thing, if the girl/guy was able to control themselves they would naturally want a partner who did the same. But it would depend on the other person. If I was approached for a rishta for a guy and found out he lost his virginity, would be gutted, but then would look at the person. There have been some where they have had bad backgrounds and maybe never had sikhi in their life or the right guidance, so maybe thats how they got in that mess. I would consider that kind of person especially if they are great gursikhs now I probably wouldnt consider a person that was amritdhari or had a lot of sangat, and still lost their virginity, they would be the ones i would worry about more.

Over time people change, i guess, think its a shame if you look at just that aspect of a person and ignore the rest.

I agree with most of what you said, but if the person you are going to marry is fat this can mean many things. For one it can mean they are lazy, which can stretch into a whole lot of problems in many areas. Also it can mean they really don't look after themselves. And who wants to marry some lazy person. Getting them to do one task would seem like the end of the world. I can add some more but im leave it there. Sometimes its superficial and other times as said here its not.

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Guest abstinence

then what if a girl who has slept with another guy wants to marry him but her parents wont let them, but they both have lost their virginity to each other, what should they do ? would it be fair to their own future partners if this is kept hidden ?

this goes for both amritdhari and nonamritdharis ...

a lot of people are in this situation, it would be interesting to know the responses now...

It's not fair that there are some of us who would rather self harm than sleep with someone before marriage or at least if we're not 100% certain we're going to marry them. I personally have had so many oppertunities to do the easy thing but a sikh must pass certain tests before they're trusted and can progress on the true path.

but if some has had it they should definitly tell their partner, I wouldn't marry a non virgin full stop unless they truly repented what they had done and completley changed as a person

And virginty may be important to some guys but it's incredibly important to god- I haven't abstained for guys I've abstained because I want to progress as a sikh and love god.

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So what about the fact they have facial hair, bent nose, spots ? Weight can be lost. Its seems more of a supeficial thing. If everything else about the person was fine, but they were fat, you would say no? After talking with them, u can tell whther they are lazy.

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So what about the fact they have facial hair, bent nose, spots ? Weight can be lost. Its seems more of a supeficial thing. If everything else about the person was fine, but they were fat, you would say no? After talking with them, u can tell whther they are lazy.

Karen ji, I think your not getting the point. So im just leave it at, what I said last. Not here to argue and fight with someone.

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Not all Sikhs follow rehit, and different sects of Sikhs follow different rehit. However people should respect their bodies like they respect gurdwara's. The body is the temple of the soul and if you are going to violate it or let a sikh or even worse a non-sikh outside of marriage violate it then your not much of a Sikh and especially for women... you lose respect in the eyes of potential marriage partners. So be very careful brothers and sisters about this sensetive issue, we all have kaum in our lives but its how we control it that matters and defines how strong we are as Sikhs mentally and physically.

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Not all Sikhs follow rehit, and different sects of Sikhs follow different rehit. However people should respect their bodies like they respect gurdwara's. The body is the temple of the soul and if you are going to violate it or let a sikh or even worse a non-sikh outside of marriage violate it then your not much of a Sikh and especially for women... you lose respect in the eyes of potential marriage partners. So be very careful brothers and sisters about this sensetive issue, we all have kaum in our lives but its how we control it that matters and defines how strong we are as Sikhs mentally and physically.

why especially for women? i just dont understand why our fellow indians have to be so sexist and hypocritical...on one hand you say you practice sikhi but you cant practice the basic concept of equality...its just sad. plain sad.

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Not all Sikhs follow rehit, and different sects of Sikhs follow different rehit. However people should respect their bodies like they respect gurdwara's. The body is the temple of the soul and if you are going to violate it or let a sikh or even worse a non-sikh outside of marriage violate it then your not much of a Sikh and especially for women... you lose respect in the eyes of potential marriage partners. So be very careful brothers and sisters about this sensetive issue, we all have kaum in our lives but its how we control it that matters and defines how strong we are as Sikhs mentally and physically.

why especially for women? i just dont understand why our fellow indians have to be so sexist and hypocritical...on one hand you say you practice sikhi but you cant practice the basic concept of equality...its just sad. plain sad.

If you read Gurbani and there are shabads that tell you why women are important. here is one Shabad

mÚ 1 ]

ma 1 ||

First Mehla:

BMif jMmIAY BMif inMmIAY BMif mMgxu vIAwhu ]

bha(n)dd ja(n)meeai bha(n)dd ni(n)meeai bha(n)dd ma(n)gan veeaahu ||

From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married.

BMfhu hovY dosqI BMfhu clY rwhu ]

bha(n)ddahu hovai dhosathee bha(n)ddahu chalai raahu ||

Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come.

BMfu muAw BMfu BwlIAY BMif hovY bMDwnu ]

bha(n)dd muaa bha(n)dd bhaaleeai bha(n)dd hovai ba(n)dhhaan ||

When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound.

so ikau mMdw AwKIAY ijqu jMmih rwjwn ]

so kio ma(n)dhaa aakheeai jith ja(n)mehi raajaan ||

So why call her bad? From her, kings are born.

BMfhu hI BMfu aUpjY BMfY bwJu n koie ]

bha(n)ddahu hee bha(n)dd oopajai bha(n)ddai baajh n koe ||

From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all.

nwnk BMfY bwhrw eyko scw soie ]

naanak bha(n)ddai baaharaa eaeko sachaa soe ||

O Nanak, only the True Lord is without a woman.

ijqu muiK sdw swlwhIAY Bwgw rqI cwir ]

jith mukh sadhaa saalaaheeai bhaagaa rathee chaar ||

That mouth which praises the Lord continually is blessed and beautiful.

nwnk qy muK aUjly iqqu scY drbwir ]2]

naanak thae mukh oojalae thith sachai dharabaar ||2||

O Nanak, those faces shall be radiant in the Court of the True Lord. ||2|| ang sung 473

Women carry on the future generations. If you think of it women have more control than man. With more control and importance comes more responsibilities. Not saying men can sit back and do whatever.

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Not all Sikhs follow rehit, and different sects of Sikhs follow different rehit. However people should respect their bodies like they respect gurdwara's. The body is the temple of the soul and if you are going to violate it or let a sikh or even worse a non-sikh outside of marriage violate it then your not much of a Sikh and especially for women... you lose respect in the eyes of potential marriage partners. So be very careful brothers and sisters about this sensetive issue, we all have kaum in our lives but its how we control it that matters and defines how strong we are as Sikhs mentally and physically.

why especially for women? i just dont understand why our fellow indians have to be so sexist and hypocritical...on one hand you say you practice sikhi but you cant practice the basic concept of equality...its just sad. plain sad.

If you understand human biology (woman has the hymen broken and man doesnt have such thing) and gender differences especially emtionallly you will know why its more important for a woman to keep her virginity. Women want secruity, love and care feelings in a partner whereas a guy doesnt always think that way they will want sex for the sake of it with anyone and move onto another woman if he has alot of kaum inside him. Physically a woman lets a man enter her not the other way around, and if she doesnt save herself for that special someone who will marry her and will be her life partner she is giving it away cheaply to someone who has no intention of being with her for life what will her future husband think? that he wasnt worth waiting for?

Having said that no one is perfect and virginity though ideally should be saved for a life partner it doesnt always work out that way but for our brothers and sisters in faith you should always respect your Sikh spirituality, yourself and your body (the temple of the soul).

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Guest GOODSIKH

Ermmm whats so funny? I think this is a serious question which calls for serious answers-

which I'm not going to give

hehe :D

I am a sikh female and *edited*

Mod Note: Multiple personalities are not allowed in GUPT section.

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