Amritdharis & Marriage

[Balwinder Kaur]

Then does it mean if an Amrit Dhari has a love marriage they have broken their amrit. Cus i'm sure if they are dating they do stuff an well their thoughts are not clean.

I dunno i might be wrong but thats what i think

112817[/snapback]

doesn't necessarily mean that a person who had a "love" marriage had dirty thoughts before marriage...isn't that an assumption being made here??? and conclusions are being reached based on the assumption??? hmmmmmmmmm

[Guest Guest]

Within Sikhism there is no concept of worldly love. This may be a little hard to swollow for youth brought up in western society, but Gurbani says the opposite.

This Shabad is by Guru Tegh Bahaadur Ji in Raag Dayv Gandhaaree on Pannaa 536

dhaevaga(n)dhhaaree mehalaa 9 ||

Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree, Ninth Mehl:

jagath mai jhoot(h)ee dhaekhee preeth ||

In this world, I have seen love to be false.

apanae hee sukh sio sabh laagae kiaa dhaaraa kiaa meeth ||1|| rehaao ||

Whether they are spouses or friends, all are concerned only with their own happiness. ||1||Pause||

maero maero sabhai kehath hai hith sio baadhhiou cheeth ||

All say, ""Mine, mine"", and attach their consciousness to you with love.

a(n)th kaal sa(n)gee neh kooo eih acharaj hai reeth ||1||

But at the very last moment, none shall go along with you. How strange are the ways of the world! ||1||

man moorakh ajehoo neh samajhath sikh dhai haariou neeth ||

The foolish mind has not yet reformed itself, although I have grown weary of continually instructing it.

naanak bhoujal paar parai jo gaavai prabh kae geeth ||2||3||6||38||47||

O Nanak, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean, singing the Songs of God. ||2||3||6||38||47||

[Raju]

Then does it mean if an Amrit Dhari has a love marriage they have broken their amrit. Cus i'm sure if they are dating they do stuff an well their thoughts are not clean.

I dunno i might be wrong but thats what i think

112817[/snapback]

IMHO dirty thoughts (as you put it) can come and will come to anyone, amritdharis I believe should be no exception. But instead of resisting any thoughts one must let it come and go without allowing it to make any impact on you. That is the real challenge.

Only when one has reached such a stage where thoughts of any kind do not affect one any longer and does not affect ones opinion of anybody or anything; then and only then can one claim to be closer to God.

JMHO

[sat_naam18]

Within Sikhism there is no concept of worldly love. This may be a little hard to swollow for youth brought up in western society, but Gurbani says the opposite.

This Shabad is by Guru Tegh Bahaadur Ji in Raag Dayv Gandhaaree on Pannaa 536

dhaevaga(n)dhhaaree mehalaa 9 ||

Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree, Ninth Mehl:

jagath mai jhoot(h)ee dhaekhee preeth ||

In this world, I have seen love to be false.

apanae hee sukh sio sabh laagae kiaa dhaaraa kiaa meeth ||1|| rehaao ||

Whether they are spouses or friends, all are concerned only with their own happiness. ||1||Pause||

maero maero sabhai kehath hai hith sio baadhhiou cheeth ||

All say, ""Mine, mine"", and attach their consciousness to you with love.

a(n)th kaal sa(n)gee neh kooo eih acharaj hai reeth ||1||

But at the very last moment, none shall go along with you. How strange are the ways of the world! ||1||

man moorakh ajehoo neh samajhath sikh dhai haariou neeth ||

The foolish mind has not yet reformed itself, although I have grown weary of continually instructing it.

naanak bhoujal paar parai jo gaavai prabh kae geeth ||2||3||6||38||47||

O Nanak, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean, singing the Songs of God. ||2||3||6||38||47||

112822[/snapback]

I agree that TRUE love only resides with our guru. However, in the case of marriage, one MUST love their partner if they want to marry them and be with them. So all love in this world may be false (like this shabad says).... But at the same time, that doesn't mean that love for one's partner, parents, friends, etc is meaningless or that people shouldn't fall in love. Think about it....our Guru is FULL of love. I know a few married couples who are amrithdari, and the love that is shared between each of these couples is amazing. And what's even better, is that they use this love to guide each other through living a Sikhi-fulfilled life. So in this case, their love for one another does serve a true purpose...which is to help bring one another closer to God.

Also, for 'hardykaur', there is nothing wrong with falling in love with a person before marriage or having a love marriage (regardless of whether or not one is amritdari). But in this case, one should not "do" things with their partner cause like you said...it can lead to bad thoughts and this can distract you away from God.

[Guest Guest]

"Sat_Naam18" Veerji, the True Love that is display to another human being is not towards their ego or identity which is temporary and changes and eventually dissolves in time. This is why Guru Sahib says all worldly love is false.

The True Love towards another person is not towards their Mann or their Body but towards their Aatmaa - and to foster this type of love, Bhagti is required.

The Love that a Gurmukh couple show each other is not worldly love, infactuation or "romance", but it is a infinately more close bond which is the bond of Saadh Sangat which is based on Naam and Bani, not on personality or physical appearance.

[hardykaur]

An Amritdhari is ONLY allowed to marry another Amritdhari. If they marry a non Amritdhari and "do stuff" as it was termed, they have commited a Kurehat and must Pesh infront of the Panj Pyare at the next Amrit Sanchar. When an Amritdhari takes Amrit they are told they can establish marital relations with another Amritdhari ONLY; not "possibly Amritdhari soon" or "Amritdhari next week".

Amritdharis are not allowed to date. Bhai Gurdas Ji tells us, that a Gursikh should look at every Bibi who is not his wife, as his sister and mother. One of the 52 Hukams of Guru Gobind Singh Ji also say the same thing. Dating is a western concept and all of the Gurus had a arranged marriage. Kaam is the viewed by many as one of the biggest obstacles to meeting Guru Sahib.

112649[/snapback]

I still don't get it

You say an Amrit Dhari is only allowed to go with an Amrit Dhari but what happens if a person marries an becomes Amrit Dhari after marriage but their partner doesn't.

I dunno but i am really confused now

[hardykaur]

oops i made a mistake it was ment to say :Amrit Dhari is only allowed to go with a non Amrit Dhari

sorry ppl

[Guest Guest]

If two non Amritdharis marry and one becomes Amritdhari then they must treat their spouse like a brother/sister until they have joined the Khalsa also. Or they may wait and take Amrit together with their spouse.

Any type of marital contact between Amritdhari and non Amritdhari is STRICTLY prohibited. It depends whether your priorities lie with Guru Sahib or with a temporary life partner.

The simplest thing is to follow Guru Sahib's Hukam and take Amrit and Marry your Guru before you worry about Marrying another Human Being.

[Heera Singh]

if 2 people marry (and arent' amritdhar)... and one wants to take amrit... then the other has to commit as well... and let me just clarify this isn't just my own opinion (even though i agree with it) this is straight from the panj pyaray... like i said earlier.. i's beacuse of jooth.. and u can't do no hanky panky... and if ONE person in the marriage does end up takin it.. u can't do nothin... meanin.. nothin physical.. u can still be married... live together n all that stuff.. just nothin physical..

now... tha's the one scenerio...

the other scenerio (b4 the marrige) where one is amritdhari and the other isn't... can't happen... even if they're 'in love' they can't do nethin physical... if they do then that person broke his/her amrit... don't matter how much a person loves sum1 else... i's kurehit...

.. scenerio 3.... 2 amritdhari people dating b4 marriage... goin out n all that stuff is all good... chcekin a movin.. goin for dinner and what not... but... it all comes down to physical stuff.. if they do nethin physical... they have broken their amrit... and if anybody has any quetsions... go ask ur panj pyaray... u can't say 'oh well i know i'm gonna marry the person so i think its okay'... bottom line.. what u think DON'T MATTER... ask ur panj pyaray and if they say its okay (which i HIGHLY doubt they will) then its okay... otherwise... both have to go for pesh...

any other questions or scenerios?

[Guest Guest]

if 2 people marry (and arent' amritdhar)... and one wants to take amrit... then the other has to commit as well... and let me just clarify this isn't just my own opinion (even though i agree with it) this is straight from the panj pyaray... like i said earlier.. i's beacuse of jooth.. and u can't do no hanky panky... and if ONE person in the marriage does end up takin it.. u can't do nothin... meanin.. nothin physical.. u can still be married... live together n all that stuff.. just nothin physical..

now... tha's the one scenerio...

the other scenerio (b4 the marrige) where one is amritdhari and the other isn't... can't happen... even if they're 'in love' they can't do nethin physical... if they do then that person broke his/her amrit... don't matter how much a person loves sum1 else... i's kurehit...

.. scenerio 3.... 2 amritdhari people dating b4 marriage... goin out n all that stuff is all good... chcekin a movin.. goin for dinner and what not... but... it all comes down to physical stuff.. if they do nethin physical... they have broken their amrit... and if anybody has any quetsions... go ask ur panj pyaray... u can't say 'oh well i know i'm gonna marry the person so i think its okay'... bottom line.. what u think DON'T MATTER... ask ur panj pyaray and if they say its okay (which i HIGHLY doubt they will) then its okay... otherwise... both have to go for pesh...

any other questions or scenerios?

113078[/snapback]

Paji wel sed, think that shud clear all